A Modest Proposal

 Many have felt a certain reluctance to root for the Atlanta Braves even over the “Yer Cheatin’ Heart” Astros of Houston, thanks to the Atlanta squad’s continuing use of a Native American team nickname and “tomahawk chop” 

I, for one, have fond memories of chanting, “F___ the Braves!” to the tune of the tomahawk chop at Yankee Stadium, during our boys’ delirious upset of the Atlantans—a chant that even made into The New Yorker, thanks to the embrace of the great Roger Angell.

(Norman Mailer was wrong. You can write “fuck” in The New Yorker—just as long as you get the greatest baseball writer ever to do it.)

As I explained earlier in this space, though—really is nobody reading my endless exegeses?—the “Braves” of Atlanta is a reference not to the original inhabitants of this great land of ours, but to Tammany Hall.

Therefore, it seems to me that the solution to this entire tempest in a teapot is to replace the tomahawk chop with Tammany’s song—one that also happens to be, in my humble opinion, also the greatest tune ever written about New York City. 

That is, of course, “The Sidewalks of New York,” a.k.a., “East Side, West Side.” (Music by Charles B. Lawlor, words by Lawlor and James W. Blake.)

Here is an actual picture of the great Al Smith—endorsed for president by Babe Ruth!—singing it, and a link to the sound:

 https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/video/new-york-governor-al-smith-sings-the-sidewalks-of-new-news-footage/665147121

 

Imagine thousands of Braves fans, every year, bellowing out this great tribute to the City of New York. And who could possibly object?

Why, I don’t see any reason why the good people of Atlanta wouldn’t rally behind this idea immediately. I say, “Stop the chop! Hit the sidewalks!”