DEAR NEW YORK TABLOIDS

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Friday, October 1, 2021

Game 160: The Teletubbies love the Yankees very much

L to R: Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, Po.

107 comments:

JM said...

I think the Mutant Ninja Turtles fit better now that we have Bronxie.

JM said...

There's a bad Odor at the bottom of the lineup. And no DJ. Wtf?

Doug K. said...

I think DJ has a hip issue and I don't mean the October Issue of Modern Beatnik.

Doug K.

celerino sanchez said...

Tinky-Winky could have been a good sub for Heaney

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Doug K,

You're right. Glass man has the soul patch and not DJ.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM,

Orange Roughy is rested and ready!

...to be over anxious and swing at anything.


But at least he's rested!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Celerino, Poo-Poo would be a good sub for Bonehead.

Or Ca$hman
Or HAL

TheWinWarblist said...

I'm here.

Anonymous said...

Look at the lineups--they tell you all you need to know about the difference between these two franchises and why the Ray's win the division by a wide margin with one third the Yankees' payroll: the Rays have their best hitters in the two and three slots. Boone has them batting third and fourth. Hence his best hitters get fewer PAs in the course of the game and many dozens fewer PAs in the course of a season.

TheWinWarblist said...

I am sick of Nelson Cruz.

TheWinWarblist said...

I'm sick of this entire season.

HoraceClarke67 said...

That's pretty damned funny, Doug!
—Mitch Miller

Anonymous Bosch said...

Good morning, gents. There seem to be some unanswered questions:

DJ: (sore hip/groin) He recently had an MRI but declined to say what it showed. He saw a doctor on 01. October.

Andrew Heaney optioned to the Florida Complex League: „We’re EXCITED to keep him in the mix“ Boone said.

E-X-C-I-T-E-D!

I switched my VPN to NYC to get WFAN, but now my connection has gone off – I need to reboot (as do … the Yankees?).

Bid bald …

Doug K. said...

Hoss,

Mitch is just saying that because he's the cover.

Pocono Steve said...

So we're going to get a bunch of timely HRs to save us tonight again, right?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Sing along with The Master!

Anonymous said...

Nice to hear Ken tonight.

JM said...

Mitch Miller turned down the Beatles. So did Bert Kaempfert in Germany. So did every label in London, but George Martin had left his wife and children to shack up with his secretary, and family-oriented Lew Grade made him sign the Beatles and produce them as a punishment. He figured it would be an embarrassing blot on George's career.

Martin never did own up to any of that, but it is said to be true. Did he ever luck out.

And yes, we'll be bringing out the offense in the later innings.

Tampa looks far from unbeatable tonight.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Thank you anon.

I just changed the feed.

I love me some Singleton.

Not in that way, though.

TheWinWarblist said...

Rufus, we all love Singleton in "that" way, that horny devil!

JM said...

I might have mentioned it before, but I'm friends with a guy--since the late 60s-- who pitched against Kenny in college. He said Ken killed him that day and laughs about it.

Wendy is dicey, but he got the strikeout.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Bloop and a blast please.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Mitch Miller and the Beatles.

I have to get my mind around that.

TheWinWarblist said...

My brother played Patrick McEnroe in a tennis match when we were young. Patrick was a year or two younger than my brother. My brother was the number one player on our team and McEnroe annihilated him.

Doug K. said...

Rufus,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wpyxPxyPRo

Still one of my faves

Doug K. said...

So Stanton is back to stepping in the bucket. The dream is over.

TheWinWarblist said...

HBP is better than a walk, I guess?

JM said...

Wendy no bueno. Lasagna either, so far.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Doug K,

All I am saying, is Mitch *must* have done the brown acid.

That is mesmerizing.

Anonymous said...

Rufus,

I have it on one of my favorite playlists. For some reason it always works for me.

Unlike throwing German into the biggest game of the year when he hasn't pitched in a long long time.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Winnie,

My (ex) sister-in-law (my brother's fault) was ranked as college singles top five. She and her doubles partner would practice against Martina Navratilova as doubles against her and lose badly. Then Martina would work out for three hours. It was the steroid era.

And I'm still singing along with Mitch.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Doug K,

Now I HAVE TO ask:

Did *you* do the brown acid?

And do you also have tiptoe through the tulips on your playlist?

I have the Angels -- Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again, live version on mine. More hi test meth than brown acid, but similar vibe.

Kevin said...

Pull The Lasagna after a third of an inning, THEN BRING GERMAN IN NOW?!!!! What is this nonsense?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Kevin,

Think "Brown Acid".

It's the only explanation.

Either that or:

Boone happens.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Get rid of the beached whale chant please.

Replace it with "Steinbrenner sucks!"

Doug K. said...

Rufus,

I do own "God Bless Tiny Tim" but no Tiptoe is not on any playlist.

However this is...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7RZLHtdIwU&list=PL9F777F07D69737A3

Actually it isn't... but it might be on my next one.

Kevin said...

The old "brown acid" trick! Of course! Kevin

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I like the comment that it needs to be on a horror movie soundtrack.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Now, I'm going to have to dig into my Dr. Demento files...

Doug K. said...

LOL. Yeah it's pretty amazing. In one of the songs he sings a duet with himself playing the male and female parts.

TheWinWarblist said...

5 hits is not going to get it done.



Fuckers.

Doug K. said...

Boone is pushing his luck here with German.

Kevin said...

Of all the pitchers on the staff, WTF IS WRONG WITH BOONE????????

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Pencilneck Geek:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cxmxhul7UXM

Classy Freddie on Letterman with Andy Kaufman:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEeGydhC-SE


Rufus T. Firefly said...

ICS misses that one.

Kevin said...

ABREU ¿??????????????? The fix is in

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Thank Yahweh Lasagna faced that entire ONE batter.

Kevin said...

The last man in the pen, I have never seen anything like this

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Abreu for first base next year.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

bonehead outsmarting hisself again.

Kevin said...

Maybe the idea is to confuse Tampa so badly that they'll make a mistake

TheWinWarblist said...

I am very confused by to Boone's bullpen plan and in game management.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

At least Lasagna wasn't overworked.

Fuck bonehead
fuck brainless
fuck HAL

Kevin said...

BOONE needs to go for a ride with Clemenza. Just despicable

TheWinWarblist said...

Boone is a moron. I know that's ableist slur, but I mean no disrespect to anyone with an intellectual disability. BUT BOONE IS A MORON!!!!

Kevin said...

Maybe The Cartel has Boone's family

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Winnie,

I'd go for imbecile or even idiot. There's no proof bonehead can dress himself without help.

Anonymous said...

At age 20 in the Yankee farm system, Wander Franco would be five years away from his first token MLB appearance just before being traded away for a 35-year-old pitcher just recovering from elbow surgery.

Kevin said...

What will Sherman write? "BOONE is a fucking moron"!

JM said...

Perfect fucking bunt.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

WOW!

They're playing actual fucking BASEBALL!

BernBabyBern said...

The bunt by Gallo against the shift was great. If he had real speed he could've had a double.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Another ugly weird beard.

JM said...

These guys are scrappy.

If Boone wasn't such an idiot, they could win a lot of games.

Anonymous said...

Gallo surrenders. A two run homer would have been better baseball.

Kevin said...

Wasn't that pitcher in "The Thing"?

JM said...

Holy fuck.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Bonehead last all his brownie points by putting ICS on deck.

JM said...

Gardy killed that.

JM said...

Oh shit. Sanchez.

JM said...

DP coming up.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Patented ICS DP coming up!

JM said...

And Odorific on deck. We're fucked.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Maybe he'll K and the Yankees will have a chance.

JM said...

Sanchez swung at a terrible pitch.

DickAllen said...

Pitiful at bat

BernBabyBern said...

Aaaaaaand, Ice Cream goes chasing pitches way out of the strike zone. Of course.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

At least it wasn't a DP.

Bonehead is beyond idiot.

JM said...

Trade him ASAP.

JM said...

Trade Bonehead if possible.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Include money in the trade.

Pallets of it.

DickAllen said...

His lack plate discipline after all these years is appalling - both of them

Kevin said...

Most infuriating loss of the year

Rufus T. Firefly said...

This one's on bonehead pinch hitting ICS.

I did like the Gallo bunt, but too little, too late.

Fuck boone
fuck the intern
fuck HAL the pampered billionaire.

JM said...

How many games has Boone lost? 8? 10? More?

He just sucks.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM,

I'll take the over.

Platoni said...

Sanchez hacking at shit like George Dubya clearing brush

Rufus T. Firefly said...

There's no such thing as clutch. So the basement dwelling millennials tell us.

But there IS such a thing as NOT clutch.

And bonehead pitch hit him in the ninth.

I'd say cut his nuts of slowly with a rusty dull knife, but they've obviously atrophied to the point of non-existence, so it wouldn't matter.

Anonymous said...

The Gallo bunt: a textbook vindication of evidence-based strategy. The evidence clearly shows that bunting on average is a losing strategy, especially when the bunter is capable of hitting a two-run homer and the batters behind him are much less likely to hit one out. Gallo did the Rays a favor there. In fact, if Kevin Cash could have ordered Gallo to bunt there, he would gladly have done so.

Anonymous said...

Addendum--maybe you could have argued for a bunt there if the Yankees needed only one run. But they needed at least two. You needed an XBH there. The batter most likely to get one in the upcoming batters took that off the table and passed the baton to hitters less likely to do that.

JM said...

You know what a Bronx cheer is? A raspberry?

You've earned one.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if JM's comment was directed to me, but I will just have to defer to the superior baseball acumen of Aaron Boone and other mavens who think that it's a great idea to take the power bat out of the hands of a lefty batter with 38 homers, up against a righty pitcher with a man on when you need two runs to tie and no one coming up who is as good a homerun hitter. It doesn't make sense to call Boone an imbecile yet opine that that imbecilic move was just great just because you have a nostalgic soft spot for bunting.

Kevin said...

Nobody on the left side of the diamond, nobody on base, and Gallo in a slump. Good play. Normally a power hitter bunting is stupid. Like all games one size doesn't fit all. Now Boone's bullpen management, well if you want a textbook example of "imbecilic"... I have never seen anything like it...

Anonymous said...

Nobody on the left side of the diamond? No Rays defenders in the right field bleachers, either. Yes, the bunt strategy worked out great. They lost a crucial game. I can understand suggesting a losing strategy in advance, as a gamble, but I don't understand defending it after it clearly proved to be self-defeating and resulted on a critical loss. And Gallo says that he did it on his own. If Boone were a competent manager, he would not leave critical strategic moves to the players.

Doug K. said...

Not to mention that the last two outs were made by "home run hitters". Power hitters with low BA's just like Gallo.

Both Struck out.

Sour Puss Lemon Flavoring which may or may not be artificial, y'all said...

sadness engorges my sadness center as I rotate in a never ending vortex of melancholy

Anonymous said...

Smart teams like the Rays deploy the shift against pull power hitters like Gallo because they are saying, in essence, "Yes, please do bunt or stroke a weak single the opposite way. We'd much prefer that to a homerun. Thanks!" And Gallo played right into their hands in one of the most critical situations of the season.

Anonymous said...

Doug K.: But neither nearly as likely to hit a home run as Gallo. So not the same hitters at all. Not nearly as good as Gallo. Compare their respective OPS's. That's why it made no sense for Gallo to pass the buck to hitters less likely to hit a homer than he is.

Kevin said...

He did wind up on third

Leinstery said...

When I was a little kid playing baseball I always marveled at how my dad and other coaches could repeatedly hit the ball in the direction they wanted to hit it during fielding practice. I don't understand how when given and entire half of the infield, due to there being 4 outfielders, these assholes continue to hit it to fielders. How hard is it to guide the ball when you have THAT much space?

Doug K. said...

Anon,

Maybe that's true (Although Gallo has been pretty bad since he came over to the Yankees) but bunting drove in a run and we had runners on first and second and two speed guys on the bases with less than two outs in what was now a one run game.

It would have been nice if Boone had a contact hitter that could have delivered a single.




Anonymous said...

Doug K. -- Yes, with that Bunt Gallo drove in just ONE run that still left the team two runs behind in the bottom of the ninth.

And consider the OPS of these players:

Gallo .815
Gardner .697
Sanchez .741 (.701 vs. RHP)
Odor .673

So you're saying the smart move was to take possible XBH bat out of the hands of the best of this lot--a left-handed power hitter vs. a right-handed pitcher--and place it in the hands of the worst of the lot. It's understandable to decry the failure of Sanchez and Odor in this situation, but have you earned the right to do that when you endorsed a strategy that placed the fate of the game in their hands?

Kevin said...

Gallo scored. If he had homered, the same hitters come to the plate. So it seems that you are arguing that the roster comes up short, which it does.

Anonymous said...

The same hitters come to the plate, but you have no idea how things would have unfolded had the preceding events been different--Kay calls it "the fallacy of the predetermined outcome." On the face of it, it was a ridiculous strategy--having your best power hitter bunt and in effect kick the can down the road to inferior hitters.

Anonymous said...

Your best power hitter of those coming up in that inning, that is.

Anonymous said...

The best power hitter of those following Stanton, to be even more precise.

Anonymous said...

Finally--bunting, even under those circumstances, is far from risk-free. Gallo might have popped it up for an easy out or fouled it off, putting himself at a disadvantage in the count, and so on.