Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Fixing The Yankees Part Two: Put A Ring On It

The ill advised re-signing of Aaron Boone has showed us once and for all that nothing is going to change as long as the team remains in the hands of the House of Steinbrenner. And they aren't going to sell. (At least not in our lifetimes.) 

The best we can hope for is eventually Prince Hal "The Indifferent"  turns over the reins to another family member, and steps down. But who? 

Hank is dead.  And yes, there’s Jennifer and Jessica but the last time MLB had a female owner descended from Ohio/German stock it didn’t go well.  Besides, if Hal was going to turn the reins over to his sisters, he would have done so already.

Little Known Rumor:  George Steinbrenner’s father Henry Steinbrenner and Marge Schott were somewhat of an item back in 1938. They would sit by the banks of the Ohio River (and by banks, I mean The First National Bank of Cincinnati and the Third Federal Savings and Loan Association of Cleveland) and eat her home baked Bund cakes.

But I digress…

When it comes to saving the Yankees, the former shipbuilder’s children show no leadership or stewardship and cannot right this ship and provide a championship.  (Sorry, I wanted to see how many times I could work the word ship into a single sentence.)

Our barons of baseball are barren, so it is time to do what failing dynasties have done throughout history...  Attack a neighbor.  We should burn the City of Boston to the ground and then… no wait, that’s not what I’m trying to suggest... 

Oh yeah, it's this...

Let’s Marry A Steinbrenner Into Another Baseball Family

Since the business has to stay in the family, they need to expand the family.  It’s time to offer one of George’s grandchildren’s hand in marriage to the age-appropriate child of another team’s owner. 

Thomas Ricketts and his brother and sister are the owner of the Cubs I’ll bet they have kids. 

Speaking of Chicago, the Reindorf’s have kids. Plus, Jerry won championships and built sports dynasties (albeit with the Bulls).  There’s a good bloodline right there.

 Want new blood? Steve Cohn has two children.

How will marrying the child or grandchild of a team owner help?  Well, ideally the spouse will take over the team but even if they don't the Yankees will still benefit. 

How? Two words. Wedding Presents.  You know what would make a nice wedding present? Francisco Lindor and Noah Syndergaard.  

And then, after this infusion of new blood, new thinking, new stewardship, has restored the Yankees to their rightful place as the dominant team in baseball… We burn the City of  Boston to the ground!  


DickAllen said...

I think it's a preposterous idea.

All except for burning Boston to the ground.

I'm all in on that.

Doug K. said...


You forgot to Harrrumph!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hilarious, Doug!