DEAR NEW YORK TABLOIDS

BOYCOTT MLB ON YOUR BACK PAGES UNTIL THE LOCKOUT ENDS!

Monday, October 11, 2021

Abandon hope, NY Giants fans, Theo Epstein for Yankee GM, and other Monday musings

1. Yesterday, I broke my NFL sobriety and watched the Gints. (I'd held the line thus far, but playing hateful Dallas proved too enticing.) And for a while, it looked good. Then Saquan Barkly blew out an ankle and Daniel Jones went down like Jerry Cooney. There goes the season. You build with linemen - not wide receivers. Hogmolly Gettleman must go.

2. Here's a thought: How about Theo Epstein for Yankee GM? He's currently in the Commissioner's office, working on ways to destroy the game. Epstein has twice saved perennial losers from their long-term curses. Don't the Yankees qualify as a blighted franchise?

3. What juju last night for Boston: A ball bounces off your outfielder into the stands, holding the runner from scoring. If I'm Tampa, I'm starting to think the juju fix is in. It's over. 

4. If Boston wins the World Series, they will lead us in championship rings, 5 to 2, in this millennium. On a personal note, I probably won't live to see the Yankees overtake them. 

5. Of all the free agents out there, the one most enticing for the Yankees could be Kyle Schwarber. He hits LH and plays 1B. The key is that Boston doesn't go on a magical run and turn him into a Redsock icon. 

6. Wait a minute. I take it back. Fuck Schwarber. He's a LH version of Voit.

7. Wait... ooh, ooh! Jumpin' Jehosivat! If we sign a defensive SS, instead of switching other infielders to play that position, Schwarber could handle 1B.

8. Hell with this. I'm sick of the Yankees. Maybe the Giants can go on a roll. Or at least learn to tank. Can Theo Epstein run a football team? 

15 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

Pathetic.

Platoni said...

Are the Yankees keeping Boone or the fans hanging? It's been 6 days, Hal!

ranger_lp said...

Theo wants part ownership in a team...he's not coming here...

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Another NY sports year down the toilet, pathetic INDEED!

The Archangel said...

Hang Tight. The Rangers start Weds., and there will not be a lot of whiffs there

The Archangel

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yeah. Hockey is our salvation. God help us all.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I hope the carmine's lose every game they play until the day I die, then for another hundred years.

13bit said...

If hockey is my salvation, I'm burning the 7th ring of the inferno already, with all due respect to my good friend and rabid IIHIIF blog reader, Tommy Shirts.

I'm just not a hockey guy.

Another friend has begun building giant Lego projects at the age of 84. I think that may be MY personal roadmap.

Maybe Lego will make a version of the OLD stadium, complete with pennants flapping in the Lego wind, players staying on the Lego grass, and noble old-timers waving from the Lego stands.

Unknown said...

Little Lego fans in the bleachers hurling little Lego batteries at Sox players!

Carl J. Weitz said...

Rangers can score with any team and a potentially very good defense. Perhaps not lock down but top 7. Their special teams look great, the PP and PK. Their goalie tandem is more than good enough. I don't think any team is considerably better so with a little luck and good health anything can happen.

Anonymous Bosch said...

Fuck Boston.

13bit said...

Boston can suck my Lego balls.

HoraceClarke66 said...

But you know what's amazing, as a Yankees fan friend pointed out?

Look at those rosters on TB and Boston. They're nothing special. They are nothing, on paper, beyond what we're close to.

Where they excel, and where they beat us in the big games now, year-in and year-out, is the way they put the pieces together and the way they play the game.

Whether you want to play Moneyball or not, you have to think of a team as a cohesive unit. Your New York Yankees do not.

Carl J. Weitz said...

And Tampa does it at between 1/4 and 1/3 our payroll!

JM said...

Right on, Hoss. During our hot streaks this year, we saw what this team could do. They just didn't do it half the time.