DEAR NEW YORK TABLOIDS

BOYCOTT MLB ON YOUR BACK PAGES UNTIL THE LOCKOUT ENDS!

Sunday, October 3, 2021

Win or lose today, the Yankiverse is ready for an ending.

Win today, we play in the wild card Tuesday.

Lose today, we play in the tie-breaker tomorrow. Then, if we win, the wild card on Tuesday.

Does it matter?

Our best starter has been getting battered.  He'll have to pitch without full rest.  

Our bullpen is gasping for breath. 

Our bats have gone cold.  

Our leadoff batter is hurt. 

Our infield is in tatters. 

Our democracy is imperiled.

Our climate is changing.

Our coast lines are either flooding or on fire.

We've lost Afghanistan. 

We'll all soon die of Covid. 

Another toilet paper shortage is coming.

Gabby's killer is out there, maybe sitting right next to you.

Ben and J-Lo... Splitsville? 

The days are growing shorter.

12 comments:

13bit said...

But we still have pizza.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

...and pizza rat.

ranger_lp said...

The Yankees are sending Jameson Taillon to pitch against Michael Wacha...ya know this doesn't end well...we're playing a tie breaker game...

Ironbow said...

The Yankees are clearly an organization in decline, top to bottom.

It doesn't matter if they make the playoffs. The Yank's will be toast very quickly - a horribly constructed club that needs a total overhaul.

Parson Tom said...

I feel sick, probably from getting yanked around like a yoyo by this team.

Separately, it's pretty clear to me that all our worst and latest troubles surfaced when the team let it be known that they had adopted a turtle as a mascot. When it was kept secret, everything was great, but then they let the press know about it. Now Boston and Tampa and all the other haters across the country are on the verge of dancing on the Yankees' grave.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'll tune into the game, just to hear the "Fire Boone" chants.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"A drunkard's dream, if I ever did see one."

JM said...

You said it, Rufus.

Taillon? Mr. Not Bloody Sock, But My Ankle Is Shot Anyway?

Even with two good ankles, he wouldn't be first choice for this game.

DJ is going to play. He has a "sports hernia." Somebody explain that term, please. I thought a hernia was a hernia? (Groucho said a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. I guess this is similar.)

Boone is an idiot.

We really are doomed. If we lose again today, we should just give up. What's the point?

Piiax said...

Knowing what's happened this season I can believe the last two days. But I still can't believe it. Dirge, dirge. The wild cards would be just more torture.

13bit said...

This team has become Wile E. Coyote.

Doug K. said...

13 bit,

Yes. Yes it has.

TheWinWarblist said...

Steinbrenner Sucks!! Steinbrenner Sucks!! Steinbrenner Sucks!! Steinbrenner Sucks!! Steinbrenner Sucks!! Steinbrenner Sucks!! Steinbrenner Sucks!! Steinbrenner Sucks!!