Monday, July 25, 2022

All right, what's the matter NOW?

 

Amidst all the folderol over exactly how The Brain is going to let us down this year, it has passed almost without notice that our buff, 2022 All-Star Game MVP has now been slumping for a good—or, really, bad—two months.

It's true. As of May 21st, Giancarlo Stanton, the second of our supposed Twin Towers, was batting .309, with a .925 OPS.

Since then, the average has slumped to just .228, and his OPS to a mere .807—both of which would be career season lows for the man who never met a model he couldn't bench press.

It speaks to just what a cosmic disappointment Giancarlo Stanton's time in New York has been, I think, that his plummet in productivity has been so little noticed. He has become an ancillary part of the team, more or less what Jason Giambi was for his last few years. Still a dangerous hitter, at times—but certainly far from Judge's Roger Maris, or someone you could even count on being able to play.

Now it looks as though he is hurting again.

His two at-bats in the Star Extravaganza aside, Stanton has started exactly 2 games in the last 8 days, along with 2, fruitless pinch-hitting efforts.

In that stretch, Giancarlo has gone 0-10, with 7 strikeouts, about as awful a record of futility since David Justice's 2001 World Series.

So what's wrong this time?

Well, it's been reported that Stanton has been feeling "exhausted" since even before the All-Star Game.


Sounds as if that it could be Covid. Or something else. Maybe mono?

Hey, young ballplayers get weary, you know they do get weary, and maybe we should try a little tenderness.

That is, at least, what Giancarlo has been trying.

The sporting sporty press has been reporting that, of late, Stanton has a new main squeeze—or press—in actress/model Priscilla Quintana (great name!).

And that he was seen partying with her in some LA night club after his award-winning night.




I can certainly see how that would be exhausting! I'm getting exhausted just thinking about it.

There are those churls who would say that G.C. just maybe should not have gone out to LA in the first place, if he was feeling so piqued. And that, you know, perhaps his night after receiving the sacred glass bat from Hair Dye Garvey and Billie Jean King should have consisted of retiring early, with a good book and a nice cup of chamomile tea at his bedside.

Not me! 

I know that boys will be boys, even—or especially—at $29 mill a year (going up to $32 mill next season). What right do we have to expect regular playing time from Mr. DL, when there are such fetching opportunities in the world?

Instead, I recommend that we indulge him thoroughly, and give him all the time that new love exhaustion requires.

No use risking our bicepped wonder on July games. A good 2 weeks—do I hear a month?—on the DL might be just the ticket, while we use the opportunity to see if Andujar and Florial really can contribute anything to the Yanks this season.

If it should prove that they can, no need to hurry the fragile, 32-year-old slugger back at all.

I say we give him all the time off he needs until next spring. Or whenever the next bench-pressing starts.



29 comments:

Doug K. said...

Nice rant! All too accurate. I mean really, WTF???? But the real issue with this guy is...

Why does he step in the bucket? EVER. The results when he doesn't are obvious. So what is it that makes him do it?

And, even more importantly what is it that makes him stop.

Seriously, this is the key to everything with this guy.

He keeps his front foot down and hits blasts everywhere. He moves his feet and he's worse than Gallo. He's way more frustrating actually because Gallo has the same stupid swing every time and can not be helped,

Stanton can hit. Stanton can be amazing! So again I ask... WTF?????

Should he put weights in one of his shoes?

Use one of those golf devices with the fish hook under the testicles?

Should he sing "Downtown" to himself when he's at bat?

"When I'm at bat...
I can go hit a homer if my front leg stays...
DOWNtown.

Don't swing in a hurry...
I can regain my glory
if my front leg stays...
DOWNtown.

(Sigh)

HoraceClarke66 said...

I think the real answer, Doug, is the musical response,

"I'm in the mood for love,
Simply because you're near me,
Funny but when you're near me,
I'm in the mood for love."

The poor guys is just distracted...

ranger_lp said...

His other head is distracted....

Doug K. said...

"But then I thought about the game!"

Mildred Lopez said...


But sometimes when he keeps that front foot still his back foot gets busy. Shoots out behind him like he was kicked.

borntorun999 said...

I try not to think about the fact that we have him under contract through 2027

13bit said...

The Post said he's "exhausted." Either he or Baboon said that.

He's exhausted.

For 30 million a year, the widdle baby is exhausted.

He's exhausted.

He's hitting worse than Miguel Cairo and it's all too much for him.

He stands in the field like a log embedded in concrete and he's exhausted.

More proof that the Cashman is an asshole and has saddled us with guys who gum up the works, don't do anything, and suck up money.

I could name the others, but you all know the drill.

He's exhausted...

Celerino Sanchez said...

Of course he's exhausted. The guy hasn't played a full season since 2018. Right now he's the right-handed Joey Gallo and both will probably be signed to extensions soon.

Doug K. said...

Congrats to Suzyn Waldman on her election to the Radio Broadcasters Hall of Fame.

And she did it without steroids' unlike some other recent other Hall of Fame guy.

JM said...

Suzyn belongs in the baseball hall along with Sterling. Neither will make it, of course.

How about a trade package of Gallo, Stanton, Chapman and Donaldson?

Lolololololololololol... like anybody would want them and their contracts.

Publius said...

Suzyn in, but not John? Announcement on eve of Mets vs Yanks? John's thrilled for her, and will say so. But it's probably good it's an off day.

Doug K. said...

John got in a while back.

DickAllen said...


SHUT UP PEOPLE!!

Giancarlo, a notoriously streaky hitter, is on a course to hit 40/120 this season.

Complain all you want, but he's having a pretty good year, and when this guy gets hot, he carries it.

So, go pick on somebody else. There are PLENTY of other more worthy candidates.


AboveAverage said...

DickA - And you forgot to mention that Giancarlo could be . . . .

IN LOVE

❤️

Ken of Brooklyn said...

CONGRATULTIONS Suzyn, extremely well deserved!!!!!!!!!!!

And Congratulations Giancarlo, she's goOOooooorgeous,,,,, now get your ass back on the field!

And I hope hope hope we don't get trounced by the Muts!

DickAllen said...


If he's in love, why isn't it doing for him what it did for Verlander?

13bit said...

Sorry, but streaky doesn't count when you get that kind of cheese. He's hitting under .240. He's a turd that's squashed into the tread of my sneakers.

And fuck Soto while we're at it.

Stanton is going to screw us up for YEARS.

BernBabyBern said...

OK, I just learned that John Sterling is NOT in the Radio Hall of Fame. So while it's great that Suzyn is being inducted, how did she get in before John?? If anything, they should go in (as John would say) to-geth-ahh.

You know who else is in? John Tesh. Yep, John Fucking Tesh got in to the Radio Hall of Fame BEFORE JOHN STERLING!! How da fukk did that happen?

You can't predict Halls of Fame.

This, my friends, is an outrage.

Publius said...

Suzyn's good, but she's in without John because she's the first woman to call MLB games.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Just waiting for that streak to turn around, DickAllen.

He might well attain the totals you're talking about. But then again, as of May 21:

In 36 games, G.C. had 13 homers, 35 ribbies, and was batting .309.

Since then?

In 44 games, G.C. has hit 11 homers, driven in 26 runs, and batted .160.

This is Gallo territory, and it's gone on for 3 months now. Again, his BA and OPS are at career lows thus far. If he's exhausted, he needs to rest, and he should do so. If he's hurt again...well, what a shocker.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, and congratulations to Suzyn. But yeah, put The Master in!!!

13bit said...

Dick and Hoss,

I respect you both, but numbers don't tell the whole story with Stanton - or anybody.

AboveAverage said...

Dick - he may not be in  true ❤️ yet and when that happens it can be hard on one's legs

HoraceClarke66 said...

I'm really curious, Bitty: what else do you think Stanton brings to the team?

He doesn't run well, and can barely play the field. I would say that he serves as a valuable cog in the lineup...except that The Brain, in all his wisdom, insists in having him hit 2-3 places APART from Judge.

He won't play with the small hurts—or the large ones. In 2019, he hit a homer AFTER getting hurt in Game One of the ALCS...then took himself out of the lineup for 4 of the next 5 games...while insisting on staying on the roster.

So...what are the intangibles he brings?

DickAllen said...


Sorry, Horace, that Giancarlo hasn't lived up to some standard that no one could possibly live up to. I'm not buying it. The guy is in a rut, to be sure. Can you be so certain that the Yankees, who are always completely transparent when it comes to injuries and recovery timelines, are simply avoiding the truth about his condition? He was going great guns until something happened and Booooooone is calling it exhaustion? What the fuck is that?

And why would you be so irate simply because the guy is getting a little biscuits and gravy in his life? Or that someone was willing to pay him 32MM per year?

And let's not go completely nuts and compare him to Gallo, okay? That is going off the rails, WAY off the rails.

Something is wrong with him physically for his production to fall off the table like that and it's not pussy that's causing the problem or the size of his bank account.


Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


My "comfort level" with Stanton is the same as my accepting the fact that I didn't play in the NBA, I didn't make a boatload of money, and that my wife occasionally finds fault with me.

It goes like this:

1. I hate having this guy on my team.

2. At least, probably, he's not using steroids (maybe).

3. Which team's GM would accept this guy in a trade, even with a $20 million/year subsidy from Hal's bank account?

4. CONCLUSION: My team is stuck with him. If he doesn't go Ellsburyish, he's going to be on the roster, just about forever (forever being the possible extent of my lifespan from here).

Stanton is like bad weather. You don't want it. You can't really avoid it. And talking about it gets you nowhere.

HoraceClarke66 said...

C'mon, DickAllen, he's pulling a pepitone—a word that actually entered the Japanese vocabulary many years ago, when poor old Joe was supposedly too injured to play, but was caught dancing the night away in a Tokyo disco.

"Impossible standard"? It's HIS standard! He's on course to have his worst season ever.

No comparison to Gallo? Stanton has had literally 23 hits since May 21st, his high-water mark...

HoraceClarke66 said...

...Hey, I begrudge him nothing.

I'd never turn down $32 mill. Or Priscilla. God bless.

But he takes up a huge chunk of the payroll on my favorite team, and he does absolutely nothing to ensure that he can stay in the field as much as possible.

His main interest seems to be working out, not playing baseball, and he does that to the max, no matter how many games it causes him to miss. (224 in 4-plus years, and counting!) This is more of the same. He's feeling "exhausted," but that won't cut into his partying or Hollywood.

Somehow, this reduces my enthusiasm for the man. Go no.


The Hammer of God said...

If I had a girlfriend like that, I'd be exhausted too....