Friday, July 29, 2022

Drunk Blog continues: Where would we be without Judge?

 Not here...

Coming this weekend: A Cashman whirlwind that will reshape the Yankees:

Gallo, gone.

We'll learn the full magnitude of Stanton's ankle, the Martian's future, and which minor league SS - Volpe or Peraza - the Yankees intend to keep.

Somebody, somewhere, will get Luis Castillo and immediately become the favorites in October.

The Master will come up with a Benintendi HR call. ("Benintendi - with a happy endy!"

Meanwhile, Redsock fans expect a barn sale. Xander on the block? All they want to talk about is how much money Judge will demand. 

Let them live in their hell.

39 comments:

JM said...

Last night, before Judge swung and before the ball landed in bye-bye land, you knew it was coming. When Barlow threw the pitch and it came in right down the middle, my first thought was "home run." And Judge did not miss it.

That's the amazing thing about Judge this year. It's not like he never swings and misses a fat pitch, or skies it to an outfielder, or fouls it off. He does all of that. Sometimes. But last night, bottom of the ninth, as soon as it was clear where that pitch was coming in, it was instinctive. A no-brainer. As sure a sure thing as Aaron Paul is the most irritating shill for online gambling in its nascent history.

Oh, and don't forget. Ohtani is remarkable because he's a pretty good pitcher and a pretty good hitter. Like I suspect other major leaguers would be if they had decided to go that route and their teams let them. Fortunately for us, guys like Judge never considered it, and concentrated on doing one thing and doing it remarkably well.

AboveAverage said...
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AboveAverage said...

Benintendi - Good & Plenty!

Pkgreenville said...

Get Ohtani, solving pitcher and hitter need in one swoop. Give Angels Gleyber, Stanton (with half his remaining salary covered), and a pitcher (Sevy OR Loaisiga). Ohtani will be good for 5 years, barring injury. Gleyber gets a key hit now and then but is shaky in the field and running bases. Stanton is injury prone and getting old fast but may do OK for a time in SoCal, his home. Sevy may overcome all he has been through tobe a star but probably not. Lasagna has all the stuff in the world but can't consistently command it. Add Joey Gallo in if the Angels will take him. Oh yes, the Yanks get a lottery ticket minor leaguer in the deal, too.

ZacharyA said...

Ohtani is only under control for one more season (2023) and then he's a free agent.

Given his initial desire on coming to America to play on the West Coast, I don't see him signing an extension with us. He probably wants to play for the Dodgers.

Stang said...

I like the ones where John sings. How about:
Benintendi, we can live with the sadness
I'll cheer you with all the madness in my soul
Huhh-uhh

JM said...

I don't think Ohtani solves either the pitching or the hitting needs. He has a relatively small sample size against leading teams as a pitcher, not exactly acey, and though his big days at the plate get lots of publicity, he still hits .265 with 30 HRs. Tops.

Hyped and good, but wouldn't solve anything for us. Doesn't even play the field, limiting our lineup options unless he sits.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Excellent home run call, Duque!

JM said...

Just to be fair...Ohtani did hit 46 dingers last year, and he has done a good job against the Astros the few times he faced them. But I still don't think we need him, or that he wants to be here, and would be a better pitcher or hitter if he concentrated on being just one of them. And I'd still want him to play defense. On a team like the Angels, he can be the permanent DH, no problem, but here...problem.

ranger_lp said...

I'll take a crack at it...Ben over....the fence...

EDB said...

Nowhere. The Yankees lineup stinks. Ed

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Happy endi lol.

One of my favorite things is when we get a new Yankees player that we can all come up with new and inane home run calls…. But the fun is short circuited when the blog post itself hogs the best idea and makes us all cower in our Rhyme and Alliteration Dictionary.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

—- crack —-

The ball has started a crescendi!

—- begins to curve foul —-

But it’s got a bad bendy!

—- crowd moans —-

Caught foul by some bitch named Wendy.

JM said...

https://www.milb.com/news/bang-bang-bauers-andujar-go-deep-in-win

Sometimes the solution is right under your nose but Cashman's nose is too big for him to see it.

JM said...

Andy is dandy.

Of course, liquor is quicker.

Parson Tom said...

Ed, baby, the Yankee lineup deserves a little better than "stinks", please. By any measure, the Yankees offense deserves a "pretty damn good but still not perfect." But that's the thing about baseball, nobody's perfect.

And we have a guy who is having a season to enjoy and savor. Judge is special. Obviously.

Parson Tom said...

JM, I was just going to suggest the Andy is Dandy call. Wouldn't be surprised if Sterling goes with that, although he might be tempted by something more obscure to match up with Benintendi, a la his Giancarlo nonsense.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Dandy Andy is a surefire Sterlingism. 7/10 odds in favor of being a correct prediction. But you cannot predict Sterling, Suzyn.

It’s obscure and based on his middle name, but about…. Andrew SirBashin’ Benetendi

Retired Stratman said...

Benny Bashes one. Benny goes boom. That’s all I got.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

It needs to be happy endy.

And he needs to grow a Carpenter porn stache.

When they hit back to back hrs, The Master can say they doubled up on the that one.

borntorun999 said...

Still not convinced Gallo is going. Steingrubber would cry bitter tears on his golden yacht.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Regarding Ohtani:

Based on rumors and stereotypes, I'd bet on him having a tiny salami.

Parson Tom said...

"Steingrubber" reminds of the General von Steinbrabber nickname Daily News cartoonist Bill Gallo stuck on Hal's asshole dad.

Bill Gallo is gone. Sadly, Joey Gallo is not.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Benetendi and the Jets is about 50% of the way to a home run call. Just not sure where to take it form there…

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...
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HoraceClarke66 said...

I'll believe Gallo is gone when I see him in the uniform of another team.

Incidentally, last night Joey dropped below .160 for the Yankees (.159), AND drove his lifetime BA down to .201. That's 10 points below what it was before coming to the Yankees.

I don't even know what to call dropping below .160. The Mendoza Line is way too high. The Maginot Line? The Line in the Mud? The Conga Line?

The Laugh Line?

Kevin said...

The Line of Death?

DickAllen said...


I couldn't get no silver, I couldn't get no gold
You know that we're too damn poor to keep you from the gallows pole

ranger_lp said...

Aaron Judge has 39 home runs and Joey Gallo has 37 hits...

JM said...

I had lunch and spent the afternoon with the only guy from college I'm still in touch with, who's an ardent Mets fan. So we spent quite awhile talking baseball, with me pointing out that pitcher for pitcher, I'd rather have the Mets staff than ours. I think they're better from ace to closer and in between.

But the thing that cracked me up is when he started laughing when he mentioned sending us Castro. He felt enormous relief when that deal happened, knowing how bad Castro really is. Joely was a definite upgrade.

This is, to my mind, one of Cashman's dumbest reliever trades ever.

Doug K. said...
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Doug K. said...

Doug K. said...
1) Hoss - The Punch Line because you want to punch him.

2) While I like the Benintendi Happy endy one I'm worried that every time he hits a HR, 40 massage therapists will file a law suit.

3) Beau - Really good one.

4) Sterling has to slip some Italian in there so after saying Andy is Dandy he will add... Molto Benny!

July 29, 2022 at 12:38 PM

DickAllen said...


"...Andy is Dandy he will add... Molto Benny!..."

That is a winner Doug!

HoraceClarke66 said...

You got it, Doug K.!

And I bet you're right, he will go with Molto Beni!

HoraceClarke66 said...

JM, tell your friend that he's fooling himself. Joely is an upgrade on nobody. 5.93 ERA, higher WHIP than Castro, etc. He's been awful for them, just awful.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

I’ve emailed Suzyn (refrained from texting her) with the collective product of this brilliant blog. It is her job to make sure John thinks of this on his own.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

In case this wasn’t obvious, we’ve settled on Andy is Dandy followed with Molto Benny as the most John Sterling thing that John Sterling could possibly say.

EBD said...

I don't understand the frenzy of concern about a homerun call for a singles hitter. You guys do realize, of course, that Benintendi has THREE homeruns this year, which is about what you could expect from the bat of Domingo German if he were in the lineup every day. So how about "A rare long one from Andy that is strictly unintendi"? Or "Now Andy has as many homeruns as you might expect from the local Bartendi"? Or "This is another Cashman move that will not have a happy endi"?

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

LOL this if the first Barney post of some value! Thank you for joining in on the fun.