Monday, July 18, 2022

Mid-Term Report

 I stayed up all night with my bottle of Crown Royal Reserve, and a new snack ( a cracker with dried jalapeños and strawberries--thank, you Trader Joes), to provide this professional analysis:

The Heroes for the Yankees during the first ( insert number ) games of the 2022 season:

1.  Matt Carpenter -  True and reliable professional. Can play even with just a mustache. Knows how to hit, and when.

2.  Tim LoCastro - From Syracuse, NY.  Speedy and can play outfield.  Perhaps our best hitter if recent experience is our guide.

3.  Ryan Weber - Red Sox killer.  Our version of Boston's best starter. 

4.  Ben Rortvelt - If this weight-lifter hadn't pulled a gonad, he would be in NYC instead of our latest All Star Trevino.

5.  Tyler Wade -  He came and went and returned again. So we have sideline speed if we ever need it.

6.  Aaron Hicks - He finally got a single that mattered.

7.  Domingo German - Each team needs a player they can pretend will make a difference when times call for it. 

8.  Ron Marinaccio - The best excuse in the world for some alone time;  "The Dead Arm."  Like the Living Dead of baseball.

9.  Luis Gil - He volunteered to keep our surgical team sharp, so to speak. 

10.  Aroldis Chapman - He sweats and bleeds for this team.

11.  Joe Gallo - Volunteers at the West Bronx Barbering School for the Blind. 

Enjoy the Derek Jeter Documentary after you watch the Home Run Derby.  I expect to be resting for about 36 hours. 


DickAllen said...

You've earned it.

Yankee Daddy Roger said...

You''ve Earned It, as was said by Bryce to Tim, following Tim' s flutter of the fingers and humble acceptance of the DQ hamburger championship.