Monday, November 16, 2009

Excerpts about the Yankees from Sarah Palin's book

"Sidney Ponson?" I said. "Are you nuts? He's a drunk, not a fifth starter! We gotta say something! This is the issue we've been waiting for!"
I went to each member of the team and pleaded my case. It was hopeless. Old Man McCain just shook his head.

The shoes fit perfectly and matched my glasses, but the price tag... five thousand big ones! Mama mia! It was a stretch. But then I thought, "Hey, if A-Rod doesn't feel good about himself when he goes out to play, isn't he cheating his fans?"
The doctor looked at the results sadly and something might be wrong. "We have to deal with the possibility..." and then he stopped, unable to say more. "What?" I yelled. "What are you saying about my baby?" He shook his head. "Sarah," he said, "would you still bear this child if I told you he might grow up to be a Kevin Youkilis?"

I turned the corner, and there she was: Tina Fey, ugly as a mole, picking her nose and sucking on a chicken bone, acting as if she owned the place. She thought she was big. "Hey, Gilda Radner," I said. "You wanna beanball war? We can have a beanball war. Up in Alaska, they call me Rocket. I'm always looking for a Piazza."

Of course I dreamed of working for ESPN. What sportsgirl doesn't? Hell, why do think I named my daughter Bristol!

"Bonzai!" he yelled, mimicking a pitch to the plate, then wheeling around to pretend to watch a ball disappear over the left field wall. With his hilarious Kei Igawa imitation, Cheney had us all rolling on the floor.


Tom Degan said...

I would like to propose a toast:

Here's to Sarah Palin; may she never - EVER - go away.

I am going to go out on a limb here: No woman since Eleanor Roosevelt has done more to further the cause of progressive politics in the United States of America than our Sarah.

Don'cha just love her? I sure do!

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY

Anonymous said...

Theres some double level super reverse entendre going on here.

Anonymous said...

so meta