Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Good News: Cliff Lee only wants seven years

Today, the Yankiverse can breathe a sigh of relief.

Cliff Lee is not only an amazing human being, a world class chef, a living embodiment of sportsmanship and obsessed prima ballerina who has lived his life dreaming of dancing The Black Swan... but he is a reasonable man.

He only wants seven years.

We say... SIGN HIM.

We figured he wanted 15 or 20, which could have him pitching at 53. While we have no doubt he'll be effective in his golden Niekro years -- isn't Damaso Garcia 54? -- it's unethical to bind a player to NYC that far off, because the asteroid will destroy earth in 2027 anyway. When the Hammer of God hits, we won't need LOOGYs.

So, recapping now: What do the Yankees need to do? Class? Anyone. Yes, you there, with the hair, SuperFrankenstein.

"Sign Cliff Lee!"

Correct. And when do we want to do it? Anybody? You, waving your hands in the air, Alphonso.


Correct. Altogether now... IF WE SIGN CLIFF LEE, WE WILL WIN THE 2011 WORLD SERIES.


1 comment:

michael kei said...

Sorry I couldn't make class because of the massive amount of snow that was dumped in my lap. If the GMs really want to call it "The Winter Meetings", they should hold it somewhere between Rochester and Buffalo at this time of the year. Maybe Batavia?