Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Open Letter to Mr. Brian Cashman: Let's build something togethahhhhhh.

Dear Madam or Sir,

Take the loaded Luger out of your mouth and spit out the Draino.

They said you'd never be able to rappel down that building, but you did! Now, you can rebuild the Yankees in 2011 without critics whining that we bought the pennant.

Think: "The Greatest Bullpen in the History of Baseball."

Think: "I must replace 200 innings."

Think: "I have $25 million to spend."

1. Start with Raphael Soriano, the closer. Give him $10 million. Let him set up for Mariano, the greatest closer in history. He might replace Mariano. That's 75 innings, better than Cliff Lee would have supplied.

2. Sign Brian Fuentes, the other closer. He's a lefty, so double benefit. Give him $10 million. That's another 75 innings.

3. Bring back Kerry Wood. Give him $5 million, plus incentives. That's 50 innings.

Two hundred innings, that's all we need. They don't always have to come at the start. Two hundred innings. A bullpen of Mariano, Soriano, Fuentes, Wood, Chamberlain, Robertson and whomever else makes the cut.

Phily has the greatest rotation? We'll have the greatest bullpen.

Final note: Cliff Lee ditched us. OK, fine. Let's never forget. When he clanks, when Phily wants to dump him, don't return the call. There will be no Randy Johnson or Kevin Brown Rescue Service. Cliff Lee must never play for the Yankees. Ever. As of now, he's on our list.

Listen: You don't want to be on our list.

1 comment:

I'm Bill White said...

Think of what this plan will do for pitching change commercial revenues!