Thursday, December 30, 2010

... Then came words bringing terror to Yankee fans eveywhere: The Yankees are interested in Bartolo Colon

For the first time since we didn't trade for Grienke, I am starting to worry about 2011.

Bartolo Colon?

Maybe our young pitchers are worse than we thought.

According to the wires, the Yankees are interested in Bartolo Colon, a beanbag-shaped vagabond who hasn't hit 95 on the gun since the last time Donald Rumsfeld was being hailed as a geopolitical strategist.

Listen: It's OK to pick up rocks to see what's underneath.

It's OK to visit garage sales or buy tube socks at flea markets.

It's OK to date ex-members of Hole, as long as you wear protection.

Bartolo Colon? No. It's not OK to Bartolo Colon.

Fortunately, we can take into consideration the source of the news that the Yankees are interested in Bartolo Colon:

Bartolo Colon.

Colonoscopy? Sure, sign me up!

Bartolo Colon? No thanks.

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