Friday, June 17, 2011

Open Letter to Arod: Call your shot today, because your top 10 list of greatest moments needs a boost

Dear Madam or Sir,

It's time to start thinking of the movie rights.

Yes, it's time to French kiss destiny, to stand before 50,000 adoring fans and a billion people watching at home... to point directly to Row 33 in the left-centerield seats of Wrigley Field, and then... deliver.

Until now, no single moment has defined your career. In fact, here are the top 10 alternatives.

1. Unsuccessfully "slapping" Bronson Arroyo in the 2004 ALCS playoffs.

2. Getting popcorn pushed into mouth by Cameron Diaz at 2011 Super Bowl.

3. Telling Katie Couric in 2007 never used performance enhancing drugs.

4. Telling press in 2009 that between 2000 and 2003, used performance enhancing drugs.

5. Hitting game-ending 2009 pop-up, which Mets Luis Castillo muffed, allowing Yankees to win.

6. Fighting Jason Varitek, who refused to take off mask, at home plate in 2004.

7. Hitting third home run off Bartolo Colon in one game in 2005.

8. Shouting "Ha!" in front of Blue Jay infielder, causing guy to drop pop fly and lose 2007.

9. Hitting game-tying home run in ninth off Twins closer Joe Nathan in 2009 ALDS.

10. Hitting game-tying home run in 11th off Angels closer Brian Fuenees in 2009 ALCS.


1 comment:

Stang said...

11. Kissing the mirror.