Friday, June 24, 2011

At least we still own Jersey

Somewhere, probably below Anarctica, there is a fantasy world called Quinnipiac University, where the Quinnipiacians - for fun - phone people during dinnertime to talk Yankee baseball. Yes, they're much like Alphonso, but I digress.

A few weeks ago, these pollmeisters showed the Yankees to be the most popular team in white-bread, Vince McMahon/Joe Lieberman Connecticut.

Yesterday, we learned the Yankees control also Tony Soprano/Danny DeVito New Jersey. We beat Philadelphia by more than 20 percentage points, with the Mets coming in third, out of the running for even a Wild Card.

This should be no surprise. In 2008, a keg-shaped stubble-chin named Ryan Ward supposedly bagged 100 women in the Jersey/Philly area by impersonating Joba Chamberlain in bars. At one point, he signed autographs while Joba was pitching on TV. That's the stuff of legend! He eventually was arrested for impersonating a Yankee, which may be a crime in Jersey.

When we have that kind of talent combing the landscape, do we need polls?

Your move, Quinnipiac. What can you tell us about Vermont?


Mike Piazza said...

Where is Alphonso? We miss him. Is it true that he is up in Albany protesting on behalf of the gay marriage bill?

Rusty Staub said...

Alphonso called me up at suppertime too. He wanted to poll me.

Minka said...

Leave Alphonso alone. I never had a man love me the way he did during spring training.

el duque said...

Things are going too good for him to raise his head out of the bunker.

alphonso said...

I get paid for those dinnertime calls.

Johnny Dickshot said...

look for Alphonso to guest star in the next season of Hung