Friday, June 17, 2011

We own Connecticut

First, I'm not sure if this is a good thing. But the world's most intense collection of rich, white, suburban, self-important, lobster-forked tongued, cosmetic surgery-tweaked, preppie asshole pieces of work roots for the Yankees. 

Yes, Connecticut is ours, according to the strangers who call you at home during dinner.

The New York Yankees top the Boston Red Sox 43 percent to 38 percent -- their biggest lead since 2007 -- in the Quinnipiac University poll’s annual Connecticut Pennant Race to determine who wins the heart of the state’s baseball fans.

The Mets finished third with 7 percent. (The others answered "Sarah Palin.")

Here's the rub:

Connecticut men back the Yankees. But the women favor the Redsocks.

This is what Betty Friedan wanted? To get laid in Connecticut, you have to lie? That children everywhere grow up in broken homes? That transgender individuals not only must undergo various surgeries, but they must also change the fundamental allegiances of their soul?

The Yankees must increase their Female Fan Friendly Outreach program, which heretofore has consisted of ARod and Jeet bedding as many women as possible. (Was it smart to put Bartolo Colon's face on the cover of our "Condoms for Cuties" pamphlet?)

I personally give two Yankee percentage points to Brian Cashman for climbing that building last winter. Still, if we keep losing to Boston, don't expect this lead to stand. Connecticut will swing. We have no bridge to Mariano or, for that matter, Hartford.


Swishalicious said...

"Connecticut men back the Yankees. But the women favor the Redsocks."

Anecdotally true, as I date the enemy, and her mother is also a socks fan, where as her father and brother root for the good guys

Alex in NYC said...

Is her mom hot, and how would she feel about a double header ?