It's time for Food Stamps Hal to tell us what he intends to do in 2022.

Last week, the comedy team of Boonie & Cash took to the YES airwaves to perform some of their greatest routines: 

They are not satisfied with the 2021 away-team AL wild card berth! (Laughter.) They want the Yankees to improve in 2022! (Laughter.) They're thinking about next year! (Laughter, applause.)  

Mother's milk for our ears.  

Sadly, it doesn't matter what Boonie & Cash say. Especially Boonie, who plays the Marty Allen "HELLO DARE!" roll. My guess is that Boonie is so grateful for keeping his job, that his pacemaker flutters and the punch lines fly out like candy from a pinata.  

As for Cashman, he spanks that silence. He's Penn - not Teller. By golly, he's gonna address those weaknesses, he's gonna shore up the offense and defense, and boy o boy, and I would NOT wanna be in the AL East next year, no siree, not with the changes in store for Yankee baseball! Right, Boonie? HELLO DARE! (Laughter, applause.)

So, Boonie & Cash have done their 15-minutes. Right now, they're on vacay - somewhere between The White Lotus and cruise ship Hokey Pokey. Don't expect to hear from them for the next week. The last thing they'll do is watch Houston play Atlanta. There must be a class in basket weaving with a few openings.

Which leads us to the one Yankee voice we have yet to experience: 

Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner. 

In every respect, his is the only voice that matters. 

In recent days, news outlets and blogs have coagulated with suggestions for what the Yankees should do this winter. It's a parlor game. Unfortunately, none of these carry a whit of reality, because Hal has not yet spoken.

Will he increase the Yankee payroll, so Cash can chase free agents? Or will Hal hold the line at $200 million, emphasizing the need to escape luxury taxes?

And then there is the possibility of a lockout or strike. 

Cash recently told CBS: 

“I have yet to have the conversation yet with what potentials, acknowledging that we have budget commitments already in play and depending on how the new collective bargaining agreement works out over the course of time, hopefully sooner than later.”

Hilarious, right?

You can't predict baseball, Suzyn. At least not until Hal okays the money. 

Of course, Cash will try a few things. He will try to trade Gary Sanchez, who became our Sam Darnold before Sam Darnold became Sam Darnold. He'll try to get something for Clint Frazier and/or Miguel Andujar - well beyond their sell-by dates. He'll try to figure out a plan for Joey Gallo, because - dear God - the thought of watching Gallo for an entire year makes me yearn to write about Pro Cornhole. 

This hurts to say, but what else is there? Everything hinges on Hal. At some point - maybe it's already happened, and they've instituted a gag order - Hal will summon Cash into his office and point to a number on a chalkboard. That figure - the Yankee payroll - will dictate what the Death Barge will do in 2022. 

There is a wistfulness among us that the Yankees would follow the lead of Tampa - or even Boston - who have eaten our lunches in this millennium. In every conversation, we are sooooo tired of watching overhyped underachievers proudly finish second, and then, going through a winter of speculation that links the team - fruitlessly - to every free agent on the market. I get more uplifted watching Squid Game.

The Yankees are on a treadmill, and Boonie & Cash can barely keep up. The only question is how much Hal will spend, and he hasn't yet spoken. Until then... blah blah blah. (Laughter.) Blah blah. (Laughter, applause.) Goodnight everybody! (Applause, shouts, applause.)