Sunday, May 29, 2022

Batting ninth, Joey Gallo... and other cerebrations on the great spring of 2022 (which ends today)

Screw the solstice. Summer's here, and the time is right for racing in the street. They've named the first tropical storm. The Depp trial is done. The Death Barge has finally faced its true arch rival: The Devil Rays. It doesn't matter what you wear, just as long as you are there... A few mentations...

1. Now batting ninth, Joseph Nicolas Gallo. Boone says it's because the nine hole is a wonderous land of treasure, turning over the order and Viagra-izing the lineup. Ninth is the new seventh!

This is, of course, lunacy. Ninth is the new nope. Regardless of our record, the Yanks cannot keep playing a LF who channels Rob Deer and lags 30 points below Senor Mendoza. It's time to call the cards. The poor guy looks battered out there. He's not going to suddenly break out and carry this team. 

When the presents under the tree are horseshit, it doesn't mean there's a pony in the yard.

2. Yesterday, you could sense Cory Kluber would klubber us. When facing the Yankees as a former team, all cagy veterans do. But Kluber's problem remains durability, and here's a suggestion for the Rays: Look for a deal, because one of these days, something in Kluber will zag when it was supposed to zing. 

3. Hated to waste a decent start by Gerrit Cole. If we hold them to three, we should win that game. 

4. Disturbing was Cole's meltdown after getting squeezed on a 3-1 and 3-2 pitch to the relentlessly adorable Ji-Man Choi. He'd thrown a no-hitter through four. I was starting to drool. Then, with two outs in the sixth, Cole suddenly does an El Chapo: He walks Choi, the kewpie doll, throws four straight balls to Wander Franco, then surrenders the tying run. He's supposed to be our rock. WTF?

5. An Aaron Hicks sighting. He pinch hit in the eighth with a runner on first. Struck out. Sad. Back to the cave? 

6. Suddenly, Michael King cannot throw a scoreless inning. His ERA over his last seven appearances: 7.15. The NY Post did a number on him, juju-wise, with a ludicrous back page salute. This is one of Matt Blake's first crises as pitching coach: He needs to straighten King out. 

7. DJ LeMahieu went 1-for-4, with a double in the first. (Two fly balls went to the wall that inning, just missed going out; little did we know...) He was slumping before needing to have his wrist MRI-ed. LeMahieu might be The Most Important Yankee, because he plays everywhere and bats leadoff. Without him hitting, our lineup looks limp and lifeless. 

8. Today we face Rue McClanahan, the Rays' best pitcher. Never liked The Golden Girls. Not optimistic. 



JM said...

The bullpen has imploded. Lugnut and King have faded fast. Lasagna is gone. Wandy is a mess. All we really have are Macchiato and Holmes, the latter making the role of closer look elementary.

Here's a sentence I never thought anyone would write: We need last year's Lasagna (it's still good, just scrape that furry stuff off...). Whoever it may be.

Our starters, who provided a similar streak or two last year where they all looked like the Big Train, can't keep this up. We're heading for another streak, this time three to five inning starts with no pen to shut the door.

And then there's Gallo. And Hicks. Oy.

Mildred Lopez said...

How does Nicky Gallows go from All Star (twice), Golden Glove (twice) to a shittier version of Adam Dunn? Is there another Joey Gallo (Joey Callo maybe) and Cash bought the wrong one? Were Fred Gwynne and Marisa Tomei somehow involved? I don't get it.

AboveAverage said...

My sources tell me that impossibly we win today's adventure 5-3.

DickAllen said...

Wasn't there a time in the not too distant past when someone suggested (and maybe even tried) using a better bat in the 9 hole to give a lineup a "double leadoff hitter" as the lineup turned over? (or something like that?)

I seem to dimly remember (which means it may not be true) Gardy being that bat once upon a time.

edb said...

Boone is full of shit. Gallo is the worst player I have watched in a Yankee uniform. In each at bat, Joey K. usually averages two contacts at the most each at bat. Count them. With two strikes, he is done. Imagine a player hitting .170 with 5 HRs and 7 RBIs. Is Mike Fischman selling Genius Cashman more BS on Gallo. Gallo and Hicks need to go. Sooner rather than later.

Doug K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doug K. said...

An incantation to save the bullpen...

Walt Tkaczuk!
Bring him up you dumb jamooks!

Doug K. said...

As to the rest of it...

Mildred - Nice use of My Cousin Vinny.

JM - Macchiato and Holmes. I still get their catalogue but haven't ordered in years. Too expensive.

Duque - Gallo is on the way out. I think it was Michael Kay who told this story yesterday. It was about Showalter batting Bernie Williams 9th early in his career when he was struggling and not sugar coating it. The gist was, "you know what comes after batting ninth? The bench." Bernie turned it around. Gallo won't.

Boone just dips everything in chocolate and powdered sugar but all you have to do is look at his face when Gallo's at the plate. No manager wants a guy this bad in his line up.

"When the presents under the tree are horseshit, it doesn't mean there's a pony in the yard."


DickAllen said...

Doug, the Showalter comment is priceless. Much appreciated.

Shame that guy isn't in our dugout.

AboveAverage said...

Gallo again in the 9 hole today. Makes me wonder Doug K, based on you sharing Michael K's Bernie story from yesterday's broadcast if the Ten Hole is the bench, whether Gallo's next spot will be the sh*t hole.

HoraceClarke66 said...

It was indeed, Doug. And yes, great Cousin Vinnie reference, Mildred Lopez.

The secret? Brian Cashman doesn't believe in age. If you once did something fairly well on a baseball field—and it's highly debatable as to whether Joey Gallo ever did anything THAT well—then Brian Cashman expects that you will keep doing that at least as well and probably better, all the way to the end of the ungodly long and expensive contract he gives you.

HoraceClarke66 said...

And in regard to El Duque's rallying cry:

"Now some teams they just give up livin' (looking at you, Orioles),
And start dyin' little by little, piece by piece.
Some teams go home to the Bronx and regroup,
And go racin' in the streets..."

DickAllen said...

AA, Gallo already is IN the shit hole.

BTR999 said...

6-9 in today’s lineup : 3 lousy hitters and a powerless league average singles hitter. And the lousy hitters are also in slumps ! Nothing worse than a bad hitter who’s in a slump. We need another great effort from our starter to win. I’m not feeling it, and we’re gonna leave St. Pete with a split. And maybe a splitting headache.

The Hammer of God said...

It's too bad that Gallow's Humor lost his chance to hit 50 homers with only 50 RBI. That was one of the ignominious Yankee records that was possible at the start of the season.

Of course, Gallo sucks so bad now that 5 homers and 5 RBI (for the entire season) would've been a more reasonable guesstimate of his output.

He can still go for the other ignominious record of 5 homers and 500 strikeouts.

I guess the Rocket Maurice Richard can relax because his 50 goals in 50 games record is still safe, equaled only by Mike Bossy's 50 in 50. Perhaps Gallo should've been a hockey player. Perhaps he should've been a pitcher.

Doug K. said...

I always like Miggy's at bats. He's getting better in left. Wouldn't it be great if HE was the solution to our Gallo problem.

Platoni said...

That top of the 3rd was so bad, you KNOW they're going to lose this game.

Mildred Lopez said...

First team to two wins

BTR999 said...

Doug, I’d say right now it HAS to be Miggy. Otherwise we’ll be scrambling until the T/D. I’m rooting for him too

JM said...

Gallo is hopeless. Hicks might be hurting. He's normally a better hitter than Gallows, but not this year. Problem with Galloot is, he won't learn how to get better. No desire to change, it seems. Which is the most infuriating part.

The bottom of the order, like BTR said, is just terrible. Not major league level.

The Archangel said...

I seldom if ever post during a game,


HoraceClarke66 said...

I'm just gonna say it:

Yes, clutch hitting is a thing.

And yes, this is the worst, clutch-hitting Yankees team I have ever seen.

Local Bargain Jerk said...

My sources tell me that impossibly we win today's adventure 5-3.

Ahhh, but it seems the sources didn't figure on 4 straight walks followed by a HBP.


Carl J. Weitz said...

The source is his bookie.

AboveAverage said...

Local Bargin Jerk - I never said the Yankees were going to win their game today. I apologize for the misunderstanding.

I was referencing my family's adventure later this afternoon.

Shame about the Yankees score though, huh.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


No biggie.  I seized on your comment because I wanted to use it as a vehicle to bitch about 2 runs scored on no hits.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I give Hicks his props, at least, for at least being willing to get out there, no matter what his condition. I remember him coming off the DL to hit a game-winning homer in the 2019 ALCS, when a certain, supposed superstar was still nursing yet another strain of his arterial somethinorother.

Speaking of that supposed superstar, Giancarlo Stanton has already missed one-sixth of the season thus far.

BTR999 said...

The might trio of Hicks, Higashioka, and Gallow: 0-10, 4k’s, 10 LOB. We cannot keep running these guys out there.
Cashman: DO SOMETHING!!!

Give credit where credit is due: Rizzo jetting .174 in May.

Platoni said...

In the end, escaping with a 2-2 record from Tampa should be considered a win

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yeah, a merely tolerable May by Rizzo—say, .220 with some power—would have built a commanding lead for us. No could do.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

When it's 1st and 3rd with 0 outs and they cannot plate a run,,,it's the same BS as last year, URRRGGG!

Matt P. said...

The easy take is its these RISP fails and low batting averages are just happening to the Yanks. Heck, Tampa won two games by luck and without hitting, almost the same way we did in this series! We are witnessing a BASEBALL problem. HOWEVER, we do have roster issues that need to be addressed...BUT how can you let someone just go without a viable replacement! Hicks or Gallo gone? The Yanks gave Florial the chance and he blew it! Maybe left field for Andujar? But I am going to reveal the BIGGEST ZERO. Higgy. Sorry, he is the worst. Didn't he lead spring training in HRs? HE SUCKS HANDS DOWN. Does nothing. Has a .208 slugging...doesn't get on base at all. There must be a more viable replacement there! We can trade or release Gallo...he is on final arbitration year. Hicks, sorry, has like 3 years an 30M left. They will try to work him out. But Higgy? He isnt even competent at the lowest catcher level. Figure this one out Yanks! Now!

HoraceClarke66 said...

No doubt about it, Matt. On both counts.

Higgy is absolutely miserable. Like Rizzo: only a minimal success would've left us in a much better position. The total meltdown...disastrous.

But again: This was hardly impossible to envision. Once again, Brian Cashman decided that everyone he signed would play at their best, and be great, and he wouldn't need any back-ups.

Once again, he was wrong.

HoraceClarke66 said...

And yes, Matt: this sort of baseball is unwatchable. It will kill the sport.

Kevin said...

I'm curious, when the trading deadline comes, which prospects are "untradeable"? We all are pretty much in agreement as to who needs to go, or at least pushed into bench roles. We have, at this point the best pitching staff in over a decade. Do we push the chips forward and go for it?

What say ye?

BTR999 said...

I’ve given up on prospect hugging. If we are still realistically in contention in late July we shouldn’t hold back anyone in the right deal. But what is the right deal? Someone who fits a clear team need with a skill set that plays well in the postseason. The idea is to win a championship, and the Joey Gallos of the world need not apply.

The Archangel said...

I guess just see if some team will give you two non-40 man roster guys for Gallo and toss in 2mil. or something
the LH balance that he gives the lineup is non-existent any how.
Just do it for his sanity. I am not a softy by any means, but it is just cruel to keep running him out there.
Cinci or Pitt for instance. A place that loves baseball but there is no intense pressure to succeed. Maybe Cleveland?

The Archangel said...

Just a thought, perhaps some here know more "medical" stuff than I do;

Now Torres is being treated for a "slight wrist issue."

Are these guys simply too much batting practice.?
It seems like they take hundreds of swings a day AND lift weights.
Tendons can only take so much stress.
In the day, we took maybe 100 swings at BP.

At my son's college, they took BP every day and lifted and stretched, but only 4 rounds of 20 BP.
He played 4 years in a cold climate and I don't remember a single kid getting a wrist of hand injury. [Other than getting plunked.}
Just saying

The Archangel said...

PS. Happy Memorial Day and lift a prayer to all those that gave their last full measure

HoraceClarke66 said...

This team will not be in contention by late July, and the pitching staff will likely be shot by then.