Monday, May 16, 2022

Joey Gallo emerges from hole and homers, meaning six more weeks of Joey Gallo

Yesterday, Joey Gallo's 9th-inning, 2-run HR affected this particular Yankee multiverse on several levels.

1. It iced the game and series. Those two tack-on runs wiped out a save opportunity for El Chapo, thereby killing the White Sox' final, fantastical hope - a meltdown walk-fest. With Clay Holmes pitching the ninth, they were buttered toast.

2. It boosted Gallo's 2022 batting average to .202 - a balloon-drop moment, his first as a Yankee above that august spiritual barrier, hammered out by pioneers such as Kingman and Mendoza. When he bats against the Orioles tonight, he'll no longer see a supermodel's weight appear on the Jumbotron. Prepare the Kodak.  

3. It commemorated a hot streak - yes, an actual melting of his polar caps. In four games against Chicago, Gallo went 4-for-14 - .286! - with 2 HRs, 3 RBIs and 4 walks. Okay, that's not Babe Ruth, but it wasn't Ruth Bader Ginsburg, either. 

Since last August, when Cooperstown Cashman dealt four prospects to Texas for Gallo, we've waited to see why this guy played in two All-Star games, won two Gold Gloves and thrice finished among league leaders in HRs. We've wondered whether all the strikeouts - (last year, he led the AL in Ks) - justified the HRs and - yes - the walks.  (Last year, he led the AL in BBs.)  

We're about to see. Gallo is on a streak. This is the first glimpse we've ever had of him over .200. (His career is .206.) The "He can't be THIS bad" excuse no longer applies. We'll see if he can go on a tear and lift the team. He says he's feeling good. Fine. Let's see what he's got.

Yesterday's HR came in a situation the wonks call "Late & Close." Career wise, in 386 L&C moments, he's hit .171 with 17 HRs and 50 RBIs. (For comparison, Aaron Judge has 380 "L&C" plate appearances - hitting .297 with 19 HR and 70 RBIs. So, there's that.) 

I dunno what to think about Gallo. Thus far, he's resembled one of those lakes in California, dried up by the drought. Before Chicago, I nearly started to root against him - figuring, why prolong the agony? We'd be better off with Estevan Florial. (Words I never thought I'd write.)

We should soon see Hot Gallo. The time is ripe. Four in Baltimore, three at home against the White Sox, then three more hosting the O's. He should do some damage. No more waiting. Let's see what we've got.  

20 comments:

The Archangel said...

As an accomplished lip reader, I can tell you what Gallo said in the dugout after his HR as he gazed at the scoreboard,
" Fuck You Mario Mendoza."

Mildred Lopez said...

Rort Benvedddt:

“It’s something he’s dealt with in the past,” Boone said. " We’ll see. It could be some kind of surgical procedure that he may have to get. But we’ll see.”

Combover Cashman cods the Twins.

Dantes said...

I’m rooting for him to stay hot till the all star break so they can sell high before he walks as a fa. Let’s get some more magic beans…sorry, I meant let’s get some more single a lottery tickets!

HoraceClarke66 said...

The added road time should help.

Along with many other anomalies in his stats, Joey is now hitting .243 (.835 OPS) on the road...and .173/.603 at the Stadium—despite that right field porch.

Reminds me of Sonny Got Blue Gray with his total inability to pitch well in New York.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

ESPN (aka, the red sux network) headline for tonight's game:

"Orioles to end losing streak in matchup with the Yankees"

I guess Nostradamus wrote that. No need to watch.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Hoss,

History is littered with players incapable of shining in Gotham. (Channeling Dashiell Hammett with that line.)

What's surprising is the intern's ability to find them, then trade good prospects for them. I guess it's good to be good at something.

JM said...

I want him to succeed in New York for the simple fact of his hair alone. What is it? Why does it do what it do? From whence does it come--i.e., what are its roots?

If Gallo can stay above the Mendoza line and start knocking out the homers, maybe increase his OBP from .317 into the .330s or 40s, I predict a special fan giveaway (to the first 18,000 attendees) of "Gallo Glasses," fake glasses with popping bug eyes. Or maybe a cheap wig giveaway that mimics the wild hairstyle.

If he hits enough homers, maybe Kay and Sterling can start pushing the nickname "The Executioner," taking off on the Gallows humor here on the blog.

Then, of course, we'll resign him to a fat contract and he'll tank from there on. But we'll always have 2022.

el duque said...

I like "The Executioner." Also, "Combover Cashman."

Instead of "Mean" Chad Green, if he keeps struggling, how about Chad "Margery Taylor" Green.

TheWinWarblist said...

Make note of this. Our Cashman Yankees have history behind them. They should have lost last night. That's what they would have done last year and the year before that, stretching back into time unremembered, or at least 2009. Great start by a pitcher, but only three hits? That should have been a good start wasted and a frustrating loss.

But that didn't happen. What is going on here? Pain. Pain and shame and sadness and misery to overflow all next offseason. That is what this portends. We are being set up. Mark my words.

DickAllen said...


We are all waiting for the real Joey Gallows to show up. Just like we got teased and then waited and waited for Sanchez (and etc. etc. etc.) to show up.

We only need follow The Intern's two-year rule: buy something at Goodwill, keep it for two years, then donate it back so someone else can give it a good home.

Seriously, how many bargain bin specials have lasted more than two years on the roster?

Gallows needs a one-way ticket out of town. Some obscure corner of the world where he can earn his millions (or will the Yankees eat that?)

TheWinWarblist said...

And Gallo is and ever was and forever shall be a fucking useless, pus and turd filled, fuckface fucker. No amount of late and close will ever make him a True Yankee.

Fuck.

ZacharyA said...

Every time Joey Gallo does something positive, which admittedly is rare, I start to get the cold sweats thinking about Brian Cashman attempting another blow-market-value contract extension, à la Aaron Hicks.

Carl J. Weitz said...

I vote for the MTG moniker.

I have more animosity toward Gallows than any other Yankee in recent memory. And that is saying a lot. Mr. Visine is more likely to go on a whiffing spree than on a base-hit tear.

On a more festive note: As I said to Horace after game 4...."The Rangers in 7!"

HoraceClarke66 said...

Very true, Rufus, and Zach, I have those same cold sweats.

And yes, Carl, congratulations to the Rangers!!!

Sure, it helped that Pittsburgh's best goalie missed part of the season, and that a Ranger cleaned Sidney Crosby's clock. But hey, that's the sort of game hockey is. Had some Ranger clobbered Johnny McKenzie back in the day, I would've had a much nicer childhood.

Doug K. said...

Commencing comments on comments...

1) Rufus - "History is littered with players incapable of shining in Gotham."

Yes, they are called The NY Knicks.

2) JM - "I predict a special fan giveaway (to the first 18,000 attendees) of "Gallo Glasses," fake glasses with popping bug eyes. Or maybe a cheap wig giveaway that mimics the wild hairstyle."

I like it but why not go for broke and provide the whole "Joey Gallo At Bat Experience (TM)"

The first 18,000 fans get a Gumby with googly eyes and a cheap wig.

To top it off the strands of the wig turns into a fan for hot days and crucial ABs.

3) Also JM "If he hits enough homers, maybe Kay and Sterling can start pushing the nickname "The Executioner,"

I like it but, remember that blade cuts both ways. I suspect that more often then not it will be Yankee heads in that basket.

4) Winnie "They should have lost last night. That's what they would have done last year and the year before that"

Yes. Very good point. The Yankees are finding a way to win the games where they don't hit at all. It's the key to their season so far.

5) Carl "I have more animosity toward Gallows than any other Yankee in recent memory"

How recent is your memory? I seem to recall a guy around here name Gary Sanchez. There's NO WAY you like Gallo less. Is there? Why? :)

Oh Carl, I took your advice a while back and started watching the Rangers. Really really enjoying it. Up until the final shot my least favorite Ranger based on 40 games of so was Panarin. He always seemed to lack effort and accuracy. According to the paper he actually good. This was the first time I've seen that.

Last -

El Duque, "Instead of "Mean" Chad Green, if he keeps struggling, how about Chad "Margery Taylor" Green."

I don't know. Maybe his problem is that he's lost his edge and isn't "Mean" anymore. So that sorta takes away the MTG one. She's as mean as they come.

How about "Thorazine Chad Green"

HoraceClarke66 said...

Love the Knicks joke, Doug!

As for Artemi Panarin, they were describing him as a "superstar" last night on SNY. Don't know about that, but...

borntorun999 said...

Newsday called him Panarin Bread

JM said...

Is he crusty?

AboveAverage said...

Whenever I read a Gallo Post penned by Winnie I can not help but to laugh. Or whinnie, if you will. It brings a simple, joyous consistency to my day.

William said...

Duque dabbling with the dark art of reverse juju, as Winemaker puts on the Golden Sombrero. Next stop, tweaked gonad.