LET JOHN STERLING MANAGE. SIGN THE ONLINE PEITION

John Sterling must manage a game: Sign our Online Petition

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Shave him.



  The Yankees have signed Matt Carpenter. 

35 comments:

Parson Tom said...

he may be needed since Donaldson is undergoing public castration and penitence tour.

he will be eligible for the media-approved reputation-recovery cycle in about three years.

it's a shame because he was starting to look like a threat.

Parson Tom said...

by he, I meant to say Carpenter may be needed

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

They should give him jersey number 36… because he’s FUCKING THIRTY SIX. Paging the Hebrew Home…

Doug K. said...

36 is double chai in Jewish numerology. So maybe he'll hit a double.

AboveAverage said...

AndujarD Catch!

JM said...

Carp has a 70s gay porn mustache.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM,

I assume you know that because...?

Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you.

PS, asking for a friend -- what was your stage name?

JM said...

Johnny Dangle.

JM said...

JM said...

I did have a mustache in the 70s. Not like Carp's. But I shaved it by '74.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

OK, but does Carpenter also have the golden thong?

Again, asking for a friend.

Doug K. said...

Carpenter is here to eventually take Marwin Gonzalez's place. Same skill set and Marwin ain't getting it done.

Platoni said...

I may be tarred and feathered on this space for having what outsiders call "hope", but I think Yankees will do no worse than 2-2 at the Duluth County Fair Horror House (nee, Tropicana Hellhole) on this trip.

JM said...

Well, we got three. Not bad.

DickAllen said...


We can always count on Joey

DickAllen said...


He’s got the hat trick. Now for the sombrero.

DickAllen said...


But we finally got some runs for Nestor!

DickAllen said...


Oh, and Platoni, STFU!!!

Please.

Platoni said...

Right back at you, champ.

DickAllen said...


Thank you sir! May I have another?

TheWinWarblist said...

AnDu is doing the baseball things.

JM said...

He is. And Joey is being Joey.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

John and Suzyn broke character. I think the only thing worse than reality invading baseball is reality itself.

JM said...

Rays look really sloppy.

AboveAverage said...

That sloppiness could mess up the porn star stache

Joe of AZ said...

Boone Must have cried putting this lineup together....the fact that it managed to score 7 is amazing

HoraceClarke66 said...

I thought the same thing, JM. I was only curious. One night when I'd been drinking. A lot.

Sadly, that was also a straight porn stache in the '70s, a grooming-challenged decade.

AboveAverage said...

Marwin played a solid third tonight

TheWinWarblist said...

That was strangely tidy. Nestor is Heroic.

borntorun999 said...

No Hicks, No Problem.
Nestor the Molestor making it look easy.
Muy Bueno!

TheWinWarblist said...

BTR!! Please we cannot afford to lose another promising pitcher!!

Watch it with the molesting talk. Nestor isn't a member of the Southern Baptist Church leadership. As far as we know.

TheWinWarblist said...

Behold! Nestor!

https://www.greekmythology.com/Myths/Mortals/Nestor/nestor.html#:~:text=Nestor%20was%20the%20son%20of,including%20Peisistratus%2C%20Thrasymedes%20and%20Pisidice.

AboveAverage said...

“If they want me to load the bags on the plane, that’s what I’ll do,” Carpenter said before Thursday's 7-2 win over the Rays at Tropicana Field. “I’m excited to put a Yankees uniform on and be part of the best team in baseball right now. I’m just fired up to be here, whatever that role looks like.”

HoraceClarke66 said...

Love Carpenter already.

And...Hicks got hurt WITHOUT turning hot????

The world has gone off its axis. Prepare the Snowpiercer train.

EDB said...

Genius Cashman trying to solve another lost soul.