Monday, May 9, 2022

This weekend, the NY Post did a juju hit job on Michael King. The results should surprise no one.

Hours after Rupert Murdoch's fishwrap christened him "the best reliever in baseball," Michael King yesterday gave up three runs in a miserable Yankee loss. And, pardon me, but I gotta ask: 

Has everyone forgotten the fukking fundamental first tenet of sports juju?

You don't go pronouncing some no-name bullpen lug nut as "the best in baseball," you just don't... because - and I shouldn't have to remind us this - when you do so, you are: 

a) Putting a bullseye on his back for opposing teams.

b) Creating a sense in his own mind that he's outpacing his headlights.

c) Tattling to the juju gods, who otherwise might not have noticed what was happening.

Listen, people: Nobody likes a rat. The Post this weekend didn't have to make such a big deal out of King. In doing so, it showed itself to be a practicing idiot in the ways of basic juju... that is, unless it's exactly what Murdoch and his villainous, slimy, obese and calculating editors secretly had in mind.

In the ways of curses, jinxes and whammies, what we witnessed this weekend was criminal - a flat-out juju hit job! And everybody knew it. Here's how IT IS HIGH assessed the Post's Saturday back cover: 


Entering Sunday, King had thrown 17.2 innings and given up one run. Fine. It was a streak worthy of Freddie Beane, Sheriff Joe Cowley, Charlie Hudson, Lee Guetterman and other unhittable April-May ghosts of the past. That doesn't mean you stick him on the back cover with a banner proclaiming "best reliever in baseball." To do so is, as Auric Goldfinger would say, "enemy action." 

I mean, this shabby juju raises a question I've long wondered: Is the Post really a pro-Yankee publication, or does it simply pretend to be? The Daily News has always functioned as the Mets version of Pravda, but even they wouldn't do this.

Yesterday, with the game on the line, King looked like a guy who knew the jig was up. Suzyn Waldman saw it immediately: He wasn't throwing strikes. And once King gave up the tying run - a wild pitch that plated the runner from third - you could see him visibly deflate. 

At that point, Aaron Boone, or Matt Blake, or Randy Levine, or somebody should have marched out to the mound and said,  "Listen up, King, you got juju-jobbed in the Post, and the fix was in for that one run, it was always gonna happen, but now it's over, Murdoch has his pound of flesh, and you can still salvage this game and go back to being a human cog." But nobody did, and King threw a gopher ball, and the game was done, and now we've lost two of three, and somewhere Lee Guetterman's mom wept. 

Jesus H. Fukking Montero! Sometimes I gotta wonder: Are we, as a species, hopelessly doomed? We're facing multiple global environmental crises, so what do we do? Hey, let's start a fukkin' world war! We're facing a viral pandemic, so - hey! - how about an anti-government insurrection! The Yankees go on an April/May winning streak, and we behave like donut holes. 

I mean, just how gullible, how embarrassingly delusional are we? Does it ever end? Do we ever learn? Because I just uncovered this...


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgh. 

10 comments:

Celerino Sanchez said...

Why can't the Yankees draft pitchers like Glenn Otto

Anonymous Bosch said...

Can we give them Joey & Joely back? And some magic beans? A couple of cases of aluminum beer steins?

TheWinWarblist said...

The Yankees do draft pitchers like Glenn Otto and the fuck them up and bury them in the Minors and then trade them for has-beens or never-was's.

The Archangel said...

I hear that today, the Yankees will serve freshly recycled tap water in recyclable tin cups and charge only $15.00 per cup or two for $32.00.

All in the interest of conserving the planet.

They are also working on a way to recycle urine and sell it as well.


Can't wait to go to my next game.

Carl J. Weitz said...

To Arch's comment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AViLfaXmdA

And this was 12 years ago so the prices have tripled.

borntorun999 said...

Thanx Carl…That poor bastard, they literally took the shirt off his back.

Has anybody been to the Stadium this year? Wondering what the current cost for a hot dog and beer is.

JM said...

You just knew when King came in that he was due to suck. Especially since, on top of the Post, Kay and Cam were praising him to the heavens as the second coming of Christ...or Jeff Nelson or Mariano or somebody. "Too valuable" in his role to even consider using him as a starter.

Then, boom.

Speaking of Cam, I like him. He runs at he mouth a little bit sometimes and gets carried away by a story he's telling, but he's smart, he's well spoken, and he's a pleasant, intelligent color commentator to balance out Paulie, who isn't. Though he does know a thing or two about the game, for sure.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hilarious, Archie!

And hey, didn't they trade Joely for Fidel's son? Not bad, but still.

I don't think we can win with Joey remaining in the lineup.

Carl J. Weitz said...

The Mets had the highest concession prices in MLB. This year the prices are considerably higher as Covid brought the prices down in 2021 and 2019 (No fans in 2020).

2021 Prices:

New York Mets | Citi Field
Price of a Beer: $11.75
Price of a Hot Dog: $7
At $1.68 above average, hot dogs at New York Mets games are definitely expensive. In fact, they're the second-priciest in the major leagues. That's child's play, however, compared with the double-digit cost of a brew. At $11.75, beers at Citi Field blow away the $10 MLB's second-priciest drafts.

The Yankees guard their food prices assiduously, They don't dare show them on line. However, one site did list 2022 beer at $ 11.00

Kevin said...

That's "Charles Hudson".