“Considering the Yankees 17-4 record since the International
Juju Intervention, what do you plan to do later in the season if the team
encounters trouble?”
It was The WinWarblist, an IT IS HIGH commenter of infinite wit and insight. It was the first time I have ever met an IT IS HIGH commentator in the field, whom I didn’t already know. So caught off-guard by his appearance, I offered a Rick Perry-worthy response.
So, delayed… here is what I should have said:
On May 24, the Yankiverse dropped a juju Rizzutoanic bomb on
Major League Baseball. We must let the dust settle. The players and teams still
doesn’t know what hit them. Some even think they
did it.
Nevertheless, the juju surge cannot last forever. We certainly
don’t want to drain the Yankee juju well in the infancy of May-June. Some would opt for
saving the entire juju well for October. These people are fools. We will surely need it for the tough trench of
August – there is always a tough trench in August.
I say we should employ juju in the way that Girardi manages his
bullpen: Use various juju strategies now and then to keep them
fresh. We don’t want to upcap our vast juju reserves in October only to find they turned to vinegar in the barrel.
But we must not overuse it. I worry that we mixed too potent
a juju intervention. (I was hoping for six out of 10 wins; nobody anticipated
this.) Next time, instead of a mass Charging of the Mound – the most powerful
juju intervention known – we might try a modified mass Lookaway. (below)
And it was great to see and meet the WinWarblist, whose complaints later about Teixiera surely were a factor in Tex getting the big hit three hours later.
Now, if only I can find that guy Anonymous, who writes in Arabic…
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4 comments:
Tex CANNOT change his approach. At the rate he's declining, he'll be out of baseball by 2014. He is a big lunk-head who has been pulling the ball since he played T-ball; he can do nothing else. But he is our big lunk-head. Remember what he did in 2009. Cheer him on every time he grounds out into the shift. And if anyone has any of those BALCO steroids left over from the last decade, please FedEx them to the big lunk-head right away.
WinWarblist...
That's solid juju you're using on Tex. He's had two good games since you've been ranting on him.
I'm with you, though. He's got creeping Giambinoism, and if he doesn't change his ways - (alas, he cannot, and we all know this) - it is fade-to-black time for him.
What I did is just a bandaid! We need something better! What the Yankees need is a Great Player in Decline Special Juju! Something that's most active in late September to early November. Something that will help the aged veterans feel young again. Put a spring in their step, uncloud their fading vision and speed up their sleepy bats. Even if it's only for one critical game. A powerful Great Player in Decline Special Juju is what this club needs. It's that or a 55 gallon drum of leftover BALCO steroids.
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