Friday, June 6, 2014
Posted by el duque at 10:21 AM
Scott Boras: (Picks up phone) Well, well, if it isn't my favorite caller, Brian Cashman. Ka-ching! Hello, Brian. I bet I know why you're calling. The Kendrys Morales Yard Sale, am I right?
Brian Cashman: Uhm, yeah, well...
Boras: Bri, Bri, Bri... hold on. Let me stop you. I know why you're calling. You have a number. A nice, fat, juicy dollar figure. You're calling because Kendrys will no longer cost a draft pick, and he's sat out the season thus far, and he's a switch hitter, and your team sucks, so... OK, lay it on me. Twenty mill? Thirty? Forty? I'm listening...
Cashman: We were wondering...
Boras: You know, the phone's been ringing off the hook. Kendrys is taking swings in the cage. But I'm excited about the Yankees being involved. So... the number please... fifty?
Cashman: Uh, well, that's sort of...
Boras: The Royals called. Do you believe that? They're desperate. Of course, I'm not expecting Kansas City to outbid the mighty Yankees, eh? That would be hilarious. So... how high is the sky?Surprise me, Brian. Amaze me. I want you to put me over your knee and spank me.
Cashman: We were thinking... umm... July?
Cashman: Yeah. July. Um, we were thinking, like, you know, uhmmm... maybe Kendrys was enjoying his summer? with his kids still in school? and - you know - he would want to go slow on this. Maybe come back in July?
Cashman: Yeah, I mean, hey - we're interested! Don't get me wrong. We're all in. But jeeze, Scott, everything has happened so suddenly, we really haven't have a chance to think. It's like... whoosh.
Cashman: Yeah. Or another week. That would work. July would be perfect. Think of it: Independence Day! The fireworks! And Kendrys Morales announces his free agency! The world is waiting! Wouldn't that be incredible? Doesn't that have a ring to it? Hello? Scott? Are you there? Scott? Are you there?