Saturday, December 29, 2012

Yankees announce that IT IS HIGH poll for starting catcher in 2013 will be binding

I think it was Lizzie McGuire who said, "If you don't watch TV, you have no right to criticize it."  Well, the same holds for IT IS HIGH non-scientific Internet polls.

I know what you're thinking: Dukie, there's been too much happening in the Yankiverse this week - Christmas AND the signing of Mike Diaz - for me to waste ten seconds taking part in one of your meaningless polls. Well, comrades, while some of you are sizing Slade Heathcott's plaque for Cooperstown, one of the most important polls in IT IS HIGH history - Alphonso's opinion notwithstanding - is happening two inches to the west of this here post.

With a day to go, Francisco Cervelli and Austin Romine are separated by two votes - TWO VOTES - for starting catcher in 2013. A meaningless micro-thin margin such as this could require a recount, leaving the Yankiverse torn and polarized over who should be the rightful 2013 January catching frontrunner, and - surely - the losing side will feel as though the poll was stolen. This could fracture the fan base well into Super Sunday.

So who is it? Austin or Frankie?

One - Romine - remains a Yankee prospect, albeit one who knows the city of Trenton all too well, having spent two long years there. Seriously. By now, Romine must have a favorite Trenton bar, a favorite Trenton Chinese take-out, even a favorite Trenton mall outlet to buy shoes. That says it all. The young man - once considered on par with Yankee legend Jesus Montero (now Tampa legend Mike Pineda) - has been Trentonized, which is like being traumatized, except it happens in New Jersey. Still, if Romine becomes a solid catcher, who knows, the Yankees could bridge the $189 million "Save the Steinbrothers" charity austerity cap and have a chance to catch the Billion Loonie Blue Jays.

The other - Cervelli - remains a true blue Yankee lugnut, who has twice stood his ground at home plate and took a freight train to the body for his team. He has twice gone to the hospital in his uniform for a team that rewarded him last spring with a joy-buzzer demotion to Triple A. He spent most of 2012 on the New York State Thruway, no exit ramp in sight. But in his time with the Yankees, Cervelli made a name as one of our better clutch hitters, and he's still young enough to give us two or three years - until the next train hits. He hasn't the upside of Romine, but if Cervelli could raise his defense, he can probably hit as well as Russell Martin did - in other words, .220.

Why, why, WHY... do they both have to hit RH? And who, who WHO will win this meaningless exercise in democracy?


JM said...

I'm still mourning the loss of Matsui and Damon after they helped carry us to the only championship I'll probably see in the rest of my lifetime. (I'm not yet 60, but I've been smoking for 37 years and drinking like Alphonso for the last few to drown out the Cashman-induced pain.)

However, maybe we'll get lucky and the Yankees will actually promote Romine, who I really wish was named Romaine, so Sterling could say, 'A home run by Romaine--lett-uce sing your name!' Maybe he could change his name if he makes the team. What the hell, a small price to pay for leaving the Thruway. With a decent year, he might even get traded to a contender (for a sack of 38-year-old potatoes who will DH and hit .235), go on to a Hall of Fame career or at least help said contender cop a ring or two.

To be honest, I'm still pissed off at the Yankees for not giving Babe Ruth a shot at least in the minor leagues, see what he could do. Bastards.

Sure, Babe caroused, Matsui collected porn, Damon looked like a caveman before he shaved and cut his hair but married a hot wife. These days, the entire team and coaching staff is so bland it's pathetic. Mo has become the guy with the most attitude, if you can believe it. Swisher was the only non-droid left, and he's history. (OK, Soriano was definitely unhinged, but aside from the 8th inning headcase thing and the bizarre shirt pull, he was kept under wraps pretty good.)It's a long, long way from the Reggie-stirred, coke-snorting, wife-swapping Yankees of the 70s. Hell, it's a long way from the seagull-killing, finger-flipping Yankees who followed. Or the hard-drinking, bennie-popping, bird-dogging loons of the 60s, who actually won for half the decade before imploding.

If we're gonna suck, let's at least have a good time. Sucking and being dull is a cross too horrible to bear, yet this is shaping up as the year for both. Might be more fun to follow whatever high school team Ozzie Guillen ends up managing.

Johnny Blanchard said...

Will one of you techno-nuts that "tweets" (what kind of a man "tweets"?) let Cervelli know he is winning the poll? He may be in Monterrey, catching Swisher. And by the way, John M is right. The guys on this roster think "beavershooting" is a hunting expedition. These new guys need to go to the Copacabana with The Mick, Whitey and Billy to celebrate Hank Bauer's birthday in style. A good brawl, name in the papers and a hangover. That's Yankees baseball.

Rick The Reminscent said...

Ah yes, “beavershooting”, reminds me of a parochial twist on that erstwhile passion: Beaver Baseball. Unfortunately, then as now, the prospects were better to score more runs in that hormone induced competition than will the pinstriped poseurs in the Bronx this year.

Yogi Berra said...

I don't unnerstand watcha said but I sure do agree. Care for a bottle of YooHoo?

Alex "Wrestlemania" Rodriguez said...

Hey! I am doing my best to pick up girls in the stands. You fans always expect me to achieve on the level of Mickey Mantle.

joe de pastry said...

Cervelli playing the position that once belonged to Dickey, Yogi, Thurman, Posada. That pretty much sums up where we're at these days, like back in the Jake Gibbs era.