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Thursday, December 20, 2012

TAYLOR SWIFT'S PAGE SIX CELEBRITY UPDATE FOR DOOMSDAY

(SPECIAL TO PAGE SIX) She's never getting back together - with anybody. Sweet and tender super-songbird Taylor Swift showed off spectacularly slender drumsticks Friday, as she led photographers on a picking tour of convenience store dumpsters, barely a guitar solo from Malibu. Staying rail thin not only maintains Taylor's angular form, but it's a major reason why the country singer hasn't been devoured by ravenous hordes. We suspect she's one homespun dish the cannibals would rather see in a tasseled skirt than fry pan. Friends say the Grammy-winning nightingale has sworn off relationships, since her last beau tried to chop off her left arm. Taylor is reportedly heading into the studio with a bellyful of song ideas - and canned food. No teardrops on this guitar, and no soy sauce, either!