Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Cashman: "Beggars can't be choosers..."

Yesterday, one of the GMs at the winter meetings assured the songbird Gammonites that the Yankees wouldn't stay cheapo much longer, that a big splash was coming, that the Yankees are always the Yankees. It reminded me of the final scene in "Cool Hand Luke," where George Kennedy is fantasizing to the prison yard how Paul Newman is out there with "that ol' Luke smile," prowling with women and wine, even though Cool Hand is with the worms.

Thanks to the Scroogebrenners, we are wriggling with the worms. Now... it could be that Cashman is poker-facing a giant move. If we know anything, it's that Cash doesn't show his public hand in deals. And at this point, the Yankee speculation machine is little more than than an underground coal fire that's been going on for decades. We were chasing Torii Hunter, we were chasing Shane Victorino., were chasing (Insert Name Here.) Want more? Go to Bleacher Report. The 12-year-olds will outline the reasons we're chasing Brad Pitt.

Listen: I don't think we're chasing anybody. We're chasing a $189 million payroll next year, which is like chasing that giant sinkhole that is threatening Louisiana.

Yesterday, I talked with several depressed Yankee fans. Not one was bummed about losing A-Rod for half a year. Not one. The idea of a younger player - it's like crack cocaine to us. Add the insurance payout on him, which should net 70 percent of his salary, plus the tax depreciation advantages of a late-career player (one of the biggest scams in sports, as outlined by economist Andrew Zimbalist in his book "Baseball and Billions"), the Yankees will be fine, fiscally, with or without Alex on the field.

So how have the Scroogebrothers so easily convinced the Yankiverse that we're near the fiscal cliff? It's a scam worthy of Jeffery Loria in Miami. They coaxed taxpayers into building a new stadium, then announced that the new operating agreement forbids them from spending more on players. And the Yankiverse accepts this. No argument.

Keep in mind that everything here is arbitrary. Yes, the amounts of luxury tax money the Yankees would have to spend next year will rise substantially. But take into consideration that the YES Network is valued at $3 billion, and the Yankees are probably in that same neighborhood, and $40 million in luxury taxes is clam dip money.

The Scroogebrenners are like the people who are closing newspapers. Hey, if you don't want to run a paper, sell to someone who does. If you don't want to run the Yankees, sell to someone who does. Old George Kennedy, he's sitting in the slammer, talking about a big splash with ol' Josh Hamilton. Folks, Luke is dead. Cashman says, "Beggars can't be choosers." So how did the Scroogebrenners get to do both?


JM said...

Cashman: I'm shakin' the tree, boss! I'm shakin' the tree!

Parson Tom said...

Great analogy, until you get to the part about the newspaper owners. That is a bit easier to understand -- declining ad revenue, nosediving subscription rates -- although the Scrooge McDuck owners of newspapers are no more sympathetic than baseball owners. The worst part is how the fan boys at the Yankee news blogs have bought into this, like they've been held prisoner by Hank and Hal and are now exhibiting symptoms of Stockhom Syndrome. Next thing I expect is to see one of these bloggers pop up on the news wearing a beret and chanting for the SLA -- Steinbrenner Liberation Army -- while knocking over an armored car out of Fenway (too many references?) These guys need to hear themselves talk.

bennyboy said...

John M really wants a roster spot on this blog.

JM said...

Nah. I'm too erratic. But this is my favorite Yankees blog because they have an actual sense of humor, so commenting is fun.

Of course, there are days when I simply have too much time on my hands, too. Let me look at the calendar....yep, today is one of them. How about that?

el duque said...

John M, if you do get the itch to blog, lemmie know.

Same with a few of you folks. We've done it in the past. As long as you don't take yourselves seriously - BUT YOU TAKE THE YANKEES SERIOUSLY.

bennyboy said...

What if we don't take ourselves seriously, but we also don't take the Yankees seriously? That's a double negative, resulting in one positive. Then can we shoot you an email?