Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Dodgers signed Greinke? It's not fair! They're trying to buy a pennant!

According to the Internet, the goldenpants Dodgers have inked the Grink, pushing their team payroll a couple tee-shots beyond $200 million.  They're ruining the game of baseball. They want to buy the World Series. It's not fair. Moreover, it's stupid.

Why don't Hal and Hank just sell them one of ours? We could go back to 26. Nobody would notice. Certainly the Steinboys wouldn't miss it. They could sell one from the 1950s. Everybody's dead anyway. And with the extra money we'd receive, the Steinbrothers could afford new clothes.

It's just not fair. The Yankees can't compete with big markets like LA. We're tired of seeing kids like Russell Martin come to New York, have a good year, and then run off to Pittsburgh , because we can't afford them. Not fair. NOT FAIR.

But at least we know the Yankees have "considered" Josh Hamilton. That's great news, and it shows our front office is always on its toes. But I'm wondering, because no news reports ever said we "considered" Zack Greinke. Apparently, we never "considered" him.

That's amazing, if you think about it. To not even "consider" Greinke would have required incredible discipline. We must have built a 60-foot high mental block. Cashman and the owners must have surrounded themselves with an imaginary wall of concrete through which the idea of -- you know who - could never penetrate. The name could not be spoken. That's the kind of post-season focus that can win a World Series! Way to go, front office!

Still, I'm wondering: Did they really "consider" Josh Hamilton or did they just "ponder" him. If they pondered him, it could have been metaphysically. That happens a lot. And what if they just "mulled" him? What if the Gammonites got it wrong, and they simply "brooded over" him? They might have simply "imagined" him. Or maybe they "fantasized" him, the way Yankee fans "fantasize" an ownership more obliged to winning than cutting payroll. (BTW, how do you like my new possible logo for 2013?)

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