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Friday, November 15, 2013

The Life and Death of Brian the First

From IT IS HIGH commenter, John M

From “The Life and Death of Brian the First,” Act I
by Wee Willie Shakespeare

CASHCHESTER:
Someday will the winter of our discontent
Be made glorious summer by the sun of N’ York;
And all the clouds that lour’d upon our house
In the deep bosom of the East River buried.

Then will our Yanks be bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised bullpen arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to winning warbles,
Our dreadful marches to OBP walks.

Grim-visaged Bud willst smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And then, instead of mounting barbed suits
To fright the souls of fearful A-versaries,
He’ll caper nimbly in a nurse’s home
To the lascivious pleasing of a ’lude.

I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks,
Nor made to court an amorous super-model;
I, that am rudely stamp'd, and want a Series’ majesty
To strut before a wanton stalking nymph;

I, that am curtail’d of Jeet’s fair proportion,
Cheated of winning by my owners’ nature,
Defanged, unfund'd, sent before my time
Into this offseason, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and un-Cashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;

Why, I, in this weak spending time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun
And descent on mine own rappellery:

And therefore, since I cannot craft a winner,
To entertain these cold well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a bozo
And curse the idle pleasures of these days.

Hags have I laid, inductions dangerous,
And drunken prophecized, libeled and schem’d,
To set Hal’s brother Henry and the king
In deadly hate the one against the other:

And if King Harold be as true and just
As I am subtle, false and treacherous,
This month should Harold closely be mew'd up,
About a prophecy, which says that 'Hank'
Of Harold’s tribe the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here
Harold comes.

8 comments:

Leinstery said...

Serious question, do you smoke a lot of weed or do you just love poetry?

And while I'm being serious, I need more Sterling. I know the man is a hermit and unreachable, but I need my fix. Suzyn has already rejected my friend request twice so I think all inroads into the Beauty from Boston are closed. But Sterling, just getting a glimpse into anything he does non broadcast related is my holy grail. I'm pretty sure if I ever was in his house I would get the same feeling as the conquistadors would have gotten if they ever found el dorado.

JM said...

I used to smoke a great amount of weed, actually, and wasn't against other types of recreation. But it was amazing how well the opening to Richard III could, with a little twist here and there, express a Cashlike scenario.

Duque, that is a great visual.

Does Sterling really turn down Facebook friend requests? I suppose when a man reaches a certain pinnacle in life, this is to be expected. Maybe Suzyn is reachable on cougarchat.com?

Leinstery said...

No Suzyn turns down friend requests. I doubt John has a Facebook. I remember a New York Times article a couple years ago about Sterling and I think he lives in the stone-age. The guy doesn't own a computer and uses a VCR. The fact that he is so unreachable is part of the his mystique.

As for Suzyn, I don't blame her for her rejections. A lady like her deserves royalty. Maybe when Jeter is ready to settle down. But if the fair maiden is on cougarchat.com, then I would have no other choice but to pursue her.

Jason Nix said...

Leinstery, You and Jeter will need to get past me first.

Alphonso said...

What is weed, and why would one smoke it?

Vapor and chewables, aha....there's the rub.

Alphonso said...

What is weed, and why would one smoke it?

Vapor and chewables, aha....there's the rub.

JM said...

I never rubbed any, maybe that would work, too.

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