Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Just what we needed: A week of Randy Levine

I believe I cringe on behalf of the entire Yankiverse when seeing the trailer fire of hair that belongs to Randy Levine - the 58-year-old former Reagan Administration lugnut, money-bundler for the 2008 McCain presidential campaign, toad-licker for Rudy Giuliani, chief MLB negotiator for the 1996 labor agreement (remember the strike?) and President of the NY Yankees.

Since January of 2000, he has occupied an office that sits somewhere between the whims of the Steinbrenners and the machinations of Brian Cashman - a Machiavellian position that remains a mystery to me. What does he do? My guess: He runs the office March Madness pool, suggests home run calls to John Sterling, and keeps the food machines stocked with Little Debby Snack Cakes. Hell, somebody has to do it. In more ways than one, I always viewed Levine to be the ultimate YES man.

Lately, we've endured a rash of Levine sightings, resulting from a) the collapse of the 2013 team, b) penny-pinching by the owners and c) the People Vs. A-Rod trial, if by "People" you mean a bunch of hypocritical billionaire owners who pretend to be millionaires in the hopes that we will feel sorry for them. (Yes, yes, yes, I appreciate that A-Rod is no prince, either, but dammit, this is no time for nit-picking, I'm on a frickin' roll here!) And yesterday, we received a double-barrel jolt of Randy:

1. He said the Yankees won't pay Robbie Cano $300 million, and if some team wants to give him such a deal, they can have him. I really hope Robbie Cano stays a Yankee. I think everybody reading this blog does. And I believe we all agree that the Jogger shouldn't get a 10-year, A-Rod-level, catastrophe of a contract. But somehow, whenever Randy Levine opens his mouth, I think Robbie Cano and his rock star Svengali,  Jay-Z, take a step toward the exit. And if we don't watch out, one of these days, this won't be a dispute about money. It will be about egos - hurt feelings. At that point, Cano will take his bat somewhere else, and we will have Randy Levine to play 2B.

2. He testified in the A-Rod trial. According to the Daily News, he was Dr. No: He denied the following:

That he'll receive an 8 percent commission if A-Rod is suspended,

That he tried to get the Commissioner to throw the book at A-Rod.

That he hired investigators from Cleveland to probe A-Rod.

That he made racist statements about A-Rod.

That he told A-Rod's doctor to keep him off the field.

That he suggested in emails that A-Rod should take steroids.

That's my fave. In fact, this is how the Daily News paraphrased that exchange, based on an interview with Levine:

Q: In your emails to A-Rod, did you tell him he ought to go on steroids?
A: Conceivably, I might have said a player needs to go on the juice, as a joke.


Something tells me that the entirety of Randy Levine's appearance yesterday was wrapped around that exchange. We haven't heard the last of this.

One of the great joys for Yankee fans over the last month has been seeing pictures of the handful of A-Rod supporters - probably rentals - who carry signs each day outside the hearing. One sign called Bud Selig a "child killer." Another said Randy Levine is "the devil." The carrier of that sign later told a reporter that she actually didn't know who Randy Levine was.

Damn. That's how it should be. 


Parson Tom said...

The seamy underbelly of the Yankees and the Steinbrenner regime -- we sort of always knew that it was there,that these buffoons with money could not resist hiring fixers and dumpster-diving detectives and other venal assholes to help "manage" the team. But since the days of Howard Spira and "the lifetime ban," that side of things has been kept out of sight. It's easy to see, though, that a hammerhead like Randy Levine would naturally and easily resort to dirty tricks -- do you think Bill Madden is on retainer -- to keep everybody in line.
Oh, if only we could instead invest in player development.

KD said...

At this point, the most honorable thing to do would be to negotiate with A-Rod and just buy him out. Kiss him goodbye, as noted in your poll. What will it take for him to simply walk away? A-Rod really cannot help this team and everyone knows it.

Please, Steinspawn. Do something for your loyal fans. Bite the bullet and end this sideshow already. we've had enough. I'd rather see Edwardo or Adams or ANYBODY under 30 at third next year and I think most fans would agree. Yankee baseball is what I pay to watch, not this crap.

KD said...

and what is that thing around his neck? did he mistake his wife's scarf for a tie that day?

el duque said...

That's his juju tie.

I'm Bill White said...

I'm Ron Burgundy?