Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The new Yankee war cry: Yeah, Jeets

According to Barstool Sports, whenever the Captain of the Yankees reaches a certain pleasure zone, he says "Yeah Jeets!"

My friend’s cousin dated Derek Jeter for a while and had keys to his apartment. According to the story she entered one day to find him butt ass naked on his couch watching highlights of himself and bumping his chest with his fist saying “YEAH JEETS, YEAH JEETS.”

Nothing like using a friend's cousin for a source. Any reporter knows the biggest scoops come from guys who aren't afraid to tell what their friends' cousins say. A commenter adds that a friend knew a girl who claimed the Captain says the exact same thing - "Yeah Jeets" - during the ball-meets-bat moment of oral sex. It is selling t-shirts that say Yeah Jeets.

I don't know whether any of this is true about Jeter, or if I care. The links between baseball and sex have long been documented. Pitcher-catcher... man-woman. Did you know the architects of the game made it so the exact amount of time it takes a home run to leave the park equals the duration of the male orgasm? And now this.

Oh well. At least we know what John Sterling says during the moment of orgasm.


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