Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The 2014 strategy takes shape: Let the demonizing of Robbie Cano begin!

Today, the Yankees threw out the first salvo of flaming poo in their negotiations with Robbie Cano, accusing the player of greed, because he doesn't intend to give them a discount.

Only gold.
What a perfect set-up for the owners.  I mean, at times you have to simply sit back and admire the system they have rigged. The pharaohs of ancient Egypt - and this is not racist - didn't have it so easy.
In his career, Cano has one window to cash in and make his money: The next three months. So he hits the free agent market. Days later, the Yankees give Derek Jeter an extra $2 million - just bestow it on him for being such a nice man. But Robbie - well, mercy me - does he think money grows on trees? Why is he so greedy?

After all, the Yankees face Hal Steinbrenner’s self-inflicted budgetary constraints - the absolute critical need to get that $3.3 billion franchise below the $189 million payroll. Everyone knows we need to cut spending! We face that self-inflicted crunch! Why doesn't Robbie understand?

What an ingrate!  

OK - I've been on Cano about the way he jogs out grounders. We recently ran an unscientific poll that astounded me, unscientifically: More readers of this blog wanted the Yankees to punt on Robbie than to shell out for him. We Yankee fans feel bull-whipped and incredibly pissed off about the sorry state of this franchise, and in the front office, only the barbells coach got fired. Nobody else lost a parking space.

And now we're seeing what Hal claimed we'd never see: The cheapening of the Yankee brand. That goddamn Cano doesn't recognize what the Yankees did for him these last 10 years - uhm, I mean - they let him play 2B. Let the ingrate go to Detroit or California. As Cashman says, he could'a been the first Dominican to make the center field monuments! How could he turn his back on that?

Oh, how will we boo him!  We’ll stand on our seats! They better do anal searches on the fans for batteries! We’ll sign that bum from Boston, the one who beaned A-Rod, and turn him loose! Oh, how we'll martial all our hate, all our bile, and blame Cano for everything. The nerve of the guy - wanting money! Thank God our owners care about more important things, such as self-inflicted budgetary caps.

What a time to be a Yankee fan, eh?


KD said...

you can catch flies with vinegar but probably not the flies you're after.

joe de pastry said...

I will always be a Yankee fan, but I won't be an enthusiastic one as long as the Steinbrothers are running things this way. I can find other ways to waste three hours on a summer night.

Dwayne Johnson said...

THE ROCK SAYS, he can take that big money contract, dust it off, turn it sideways and SHOVE IT STRAIGHT UP HIS CANDY ASS!