Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Guest Editorial Rebuttal: "Yes, the Yankees as an organization are jerks.. (but) we have nothing to be sorry or humble about."

Yesterday, Rose City Wobbly wrote about what the Yankees need to do to become the Yankees again, such as end the facial ban, drop Frank Sinatra from the post-game playlist, and apologize for past hubris.This inspired more guest editorials, which we will bring to you each day. For starters, this rebuttal, from the noted IIH theorist and clinician John M:

Boston is a small town that thinks it's a major city. It has a permanent, and well deserved, inferiority complex, compounded in baseball by the long drought between 1918 and events of the past decade. The large L lingers on their collective forehead.

Yes, the Yankees as an organization are jerks, because they're arrogant and have incredibly high expectations, always. While Boston, I think, still expects to lose somehow which, given their history, is not an irrational thought. They are so grateful for winning and hate-spewing in defeat, whereas we can be gracious in defeat because we have known so much winning, and know it will come again soon.

The facial hair thing has become an absurd piece of Oscar Mayer bologna. I would take any bet that as many or more people find the latest player beards and such to be grotesque and disgusting as there are people who genuinely like them. They visually distract from the game and the classic geometries of it.

The Yankees, true to their history, are 'The Corporation.' (Whitey was not called Chairman of the Board by accident.) They are businesslike, and try to look professional even when they suck. I define professional as equating to what white-collar professionals in every walk of life look like. And that's shaven.

Personally, I think the players and others with the lumberjack beards look like goofballs, and I grew up in hippie times and was a semi-hippy myself (with a variety of facial hair over time). They cut even less fine a figure than the Latino players who followed the craze of wearing women's jewelry (oh, yeah, you're very macho...schmuck).

I'm not sure what 'blaming the Gammonites' actually means. Media coverage is slanted, the Yankees are criticized and vilified for the same behavior that goes on with other teams' players (your positively-drug-tested-but-with-results-swept-under-the-rug player(s) here), basically because they DON'T have humility, DON'T accept losing very well and expect high performance even when the front office is making it next to impossible.

None of this should change. We go through our periods of drought, but instead of whining and complaining that LA or Texas or Boston is outspending us and it's just not fair (wahhh), we carp like crazy amongst ourselves and criticize our own failings. Let's stick with that, also.

Americans do love those who show contrition, but what do we have to be contrite about except not having a great team? Are we supposed to go on TV and cry about how badly we blew 2013 and say we completely messed up? What the hell is that? Screw it. Let Boston play that manipulative p.r. game if they want, I'll take the resentment of other teams' fans, thank you very much. Like a single mom with an illegitimate child in the Bible belt, we have nothing to be sorry or humble about in front of a bunch of hypocrites and poorly educated religious zealots.

The way I see it, we don't have a problem, past our own periods of incompetence. The rest of the country, the MLB brass, ESPN, the A-Rod haters, the daytime talk show weepers and those who give children trophies just for showing up have the problem.

The reason the Red Sox and Yankees are viewed so differently is that the Yankees set a bar much higher than 99% of people set for themselves, and many of those people resent having their own low self-expectations and commensurate performance rubbed in their faces. The Red Sox were perennial losers for so long, the losers that make up much of the U.S. of A. could identify with them. And, much like blue-collar and trailer park Republicans buy the myth that they, too, can become millionaires in this great, free market country, now that the Sox are big-spending winners, that large steaming slice of America sees their own 'potential' being fulfilled vicariously.

I root for underdogs like a lot of people. The difference is, I root for underdogs like the Yankees, too--hated, despised, unforgiven, persecuted because they refuse to be a willing participant in the sloppy, stupid, self-indulgent mess that this nation has become.

Cue Frank. Neil Diamond has always sucked. Plus, 'New York, New York' is true, and the best and truest song ever written about Boston is 'Love That Dirty Water.' Which is the apex of what you can say about the place.


KD said...


"I root for underdogs like a lot of people. The difference is, I root for underdogs like the Yankees, too--hated, despised, unforgiven, persecuted because they refuse to be a willing participant in the sloppy, stupid, self-indulgent mess that this nation has become."

KD said...

and another thing about the personal grooming expectations of the Yankees. If a player refuses to conform by cutting some hair (which can always be regrown, BTW) would he be willing to sacrifice himself for the betterment of the team? I suspect they would not. I would expect such players to be gold-plated narcissistic chicken-eating, beer-drinking clubhouse assholes and the very antithesis of Mo.

JM said...

"Narcissistic chicken-eating, beer-drinking clubhouse assholes."

Really, it's poetry.

Sayonara Kid said...

Tremendous! A clarion call, even.