DEAR NEW YORK TABLOIDS

BOYCOTT MLB ON YOUR BACK PAGES UNTIL THE LOCKOUT ENDS!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Richardson... Randolph... Cano...THE DEAN OF SWING!

Big deal: The Yankees today traded a minor league nobody for a minor league nobody. Whoop-dee-doo. Am I right?

In fact, whenever we do such a thing - after I'm done puking over the memory of trading Tyler Clippard for Jonathan Albaladejo - I think, as we all do: W.T.F.?

For the record: We traded 24-year-old RH pitcher Ben Paullus to San Diego for 26 year old Dean Anna, a LH utility infielder. So, altogether now:  Double-you, Tee, Eff?

Paullus is a middling prospect with 9 saves last year for Charleston. I can see why San Diego, or any team, would stockpile young arms. The Washington Nationals stockpiled the Yankee Clippard, and we know how that turned out. But what I didn't understand was why the Yankees would want a 26-year-old middle infielder?

Then I went to Dean Anna's website: THE DEAN OF SWING!

This is what it says:

Dean Anna, recently acclaimed as "the most underrated player in all of professional baseball", is an ultra-utility player and classic power hitter...As a member of the Padres' system, he's been part of three championship titles in Fort Wayne (2009), Lake Elsinore (2011) and San Antonio (2011). After making the Texas League All-Star roster in 2012, he moved up to the Triple-A Tucson Padres for the 2013 season where he had the best season of his career, winning the PCL Hitter of the Year title with a .331 AVG and selected to the PCL All-Star Team mid-season and post-season. Following his breakout season, Dean spent time in the Dominican Republic’s Winter Ball League with the Estrellas de Oriente before returning back to the US to prepare for spring training with the San Diego Padres.New York Yankees. (strikeout is mine)

GOOD JOB, CASHMAN!  I LIKE THIS GUY. STAND BACK, EVERYBODY. THE DEAN OF SWING IS HERE. OUR 2B PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED.

ROBBIE CANO, TIME TO GO.   YOU BEEN DEANED!

3 comments:

Mike said...

I'm too busy trying to digest the ultra-utility/classic-power-hitter pairing to even deal with the concept of underrated-ness not being negated by acclamation.

Whuh To De Eff. Right there with you, Duque.

Mike said...

I just checked out the website and I take it all back: any minor-leaguer who thinks enough of himself to have his own logo just HAS to be great.

An old boss of mine called shit like this "whipped cream on a turd". He was wrong about a few things, but he was right about this.

KD said...

"...classic power hitter."

HAHAHAHA!!!! That's a GOOD one!!