Wednesday, May 11, 2022

If Aaron Judge keeps this up, Hal Steinbrenner will need a bigger dump truck to haul the money to pay him

Sir Isaac Kiner-Newton once postulated that, for every action, there exists an equal and opposite reaction. 

Thus, for every thrilling, incredible, walk-off Yankee blast - (come to think of it, like last night!) - there exists an owner tormented by the notion that he'll eventually have to shell out more money.

Which increases the jubilation.

Last night, Aaron Judge's three-run HR to beat the malodourous Jays may have added a zero to next winter's contract demands. In the final negotiations this spring, Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner short-balled Ole No. 99, and Judge walked. Now, in a weird upside-down world, every big HR by Judge might someday inch him out of NY - or worse - to the Mets. If we've learned anything from the last decade, it's that Prince Hal saw how Boston recovered from dealing Mookie Betts and thought, I can do that...

But but BUT... fuckme, who cares? Last night, a YES Classic was sired and begotten! The victory means: 

1) The perpetually ascending Jays have lost three straight - 6 of 10. How many years can a team rise... without getting anywhere?

2. Their upstoppable stopper, Jordan Romano, has booked the El Chapo Express into Meltdown Land. Last night, he couldn't throw strikes to Jose Trevnio. Jose Trevino. The Yankees were facedown in the tomato soup, and he walked - hahaha - Jose Trevino. The look in his eyes belonged on a poster for Dazed & Confused. Nice to see it happens to other closers. 

3. Toronto wasted a late rally that built a two-run lead. Had it stood, we'd have spent the next 18 hours wondering why Aaron Hicks plays LF like Smokey Burgess? They also wasted a dominant outing by Yusei Kikuchi, who had folks thinking a no-hitter through five. 

Today, Judge has a new TicTok reel to counter critics who question his clutch hitting. Over the years, we've seen him constantly squeezed by umps in big situations, but his career stats are, as Phil Rizzuto would say, "not too shabby."


So, where to now, St. Peter?  We can't celebrate long. Afternoon game. And a loss would mean a two-game split, giving Toronto momentum. No days off until May 31. The grind has begun. Still... we lead the AL East by four games. And here's a tidbit: We lead Boston by 10.5. Oh, my... 

13 comments:

ranger_lp said...

Judge and Stanton have homered in the same game 20 times, including the postseason, and the Yankees have won 19...

JM said...

I don't get the ejections stemming from Donalson getting plunked. It sure didn't look like Garcia was trying to hit him, and the catcher's reaction seemed to show real surprise and dismay. All these new and newish rules confuse me. But then, I still don't know what constitutes a balk.

But Judge's homer was...nice. Very nice.

The Archangel said...

Where to now St. Duque?

If what you say is true, Hal will be pissing blood by Friday.

Judge has done all one man can.

Show me what road I'm on.

[Back before Elton John was a Knight and sold out to pop culture of the day.]

TheWinWarblist said...

The Season is Long.

And Gallo is a fucking useless, turdlet and pus filled, fuckface fucker.

The Archangel said...

The Sox 10.5 back.

The beauty of being retired is that I now have time to read Boston sites when the Sox suck, just for the sheer joy.

How about that Story?/!!

All together now.... Sweet Caroline

Platoni said...

I read this "Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner short-balled Ole No. 99" as "Olé, No.99!" and it made so much sense.

I have long been a fan of beautiful swings in baseball. Mind you, I don't know many of the intricacies of baseball movements. I watch Jomboy breakdowns and sometimes I still don't understand what he means. And swings may not mean much beyond aesthetics if they don't lead to positive outcomes. But that swing last night was just sublime. There's the moment right before impact where the ball seems to just hover for a split second. And then it just disappears for another split second as the bat makes contact. And then it reappears and fucking explodes into oblivion, while the bat continues the arcing motion wholly unimpeded, looking like it touched nothing but air. I mean the man followed through on that swing as if the ball didn't exist. He's just that strong. To paraphrase LBJ, Judge may be a monster, but he's our monster. And that is a great thing.

JM said...

Beautifully said, Platoni.

EDB said...

Hal is cheap! cheap! cheap! He needs to reconsider and pay Judge.

AboveAverage said...

The THEY should get it Da Done with AJ prior to the All Star Break. Just make is So, So he doesn't Go.

BTR999 said...

Early early start today, I wonder why?

Still basking in last night’s win, but Boone has already hit the snooze alarm today via a terrible lineup. Tailion will need to be at the top of his game for us to win, which I seriously doubt we will.

DickAllen said...



I don't know what gives me more pleasure, the Yankees being in first place or Boston in last.

Today I can have my cake and eat it too. We'll always have April and May.

HoraceClarke66 said...

An Elton John reference and a Sir Isaac Newton-Falafel reference. My cup runneth over.

DickAllen said...


Here's hoping Gallows cup will not protect his tender groin.