Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Letter to the Editor: No peanuts at a Yankee game?

The Post Standard (Syracuse, NY)
July 19, 2012 Thursday

To the Editor:

I went to Alliance Bank Stadium on a recent Saturday evening to catch the Scranton Yankees play the Buffalo Bisons, the Mets' Triple-A farm team. It was a great night to watch the game as the weather was perfect. At the concession stand they had everything you could want to enjoy a baseball game: beer, hot dogs, hamburgers, French fries, Cracker Jacks and peanuts... Wait a minute, what no peanuts? I asked, what is a cold beer without some peanuts?

I was told by every single concession stand that there was not a nut to be found at the stadium (excluding myself, of course). According to the many people I talked to, "they had run out." I told them Wegmans has plenty of peanuts. Here is $20, go get us some. Here it was the weekend following our country's 236th birthday and I could not get a simple bag of peanuts at a baseball stadium in the good old US of A. How un-American is that?

Then I remembered who runs the baseball show at ABS and things started to make sense. As my son would say, "Dad, just drink you beer and shut up." So I did and watched the Mets beat the Evil Empire, 7-6; great game, cold beer and I was still peanut-less.

Tom Kraus


JM said...

Of course. No minor league franchise of any other team would arrogantly run out of peanuts and then refuse to go buy some at the supermarket for one single pain in the dupa.

I say, let the Yankee home office take up this cause. Using the Steinbrenner billions, we buy up the entire stock of peanuts in the Americas, and give all peanut farmers a healthy stipend to abandon their traditional crop in favor of alfalfa sprouts. Then we sell only alfalfa sprouts at every Yankee affiliate with warm American beer that only tastes good when it's ice cold because then you can't taste it.

Then when this guy shows up again and complains, we dump the peanuts on him. All of them. About 250,000 tons worth.

Compliments of the Evil Empire. No tipping required.


Alphonso said...


I didn't have my glasses and am somewhat inebriated.

Did the headline say penis or peanuts.

JM said...

Oh, 'no PENIS at a Yankee game.' That's different.

Never mind.