Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Yankeetorial: Mariano said to be healing at rate similar to current Spider-man nemesis, the Lizard

Joel Sherman, fulfilling his Murdoch inch-count quota in a Death Valley news week, writes today that Mariano's doctor is not discounting the possibility that his star patient will again pitch this year, having miraculously healed from a torn ACL. Of course, the doc probably doesn't discount the possibility that an asteriod could destroy earth this year, putting a damper on Mariano's celebration.

Well, gimmie hepatitis and call me Goldie!

I can't go Bill O'Reilly on Sherman here, because this is Beat Writer Hell Week - nothing to say and space to fill. No tidbits from Swish. No Arod residue. The Traveling Wilkes Barres didn't even play yesterday. Wait till you see the crapola I post later this morning. If this were China, the government would shut us down.

Sherman's column is a medical-based ode to Rivera, which is fine. According to the doc - (Ellis?) - Mo is doing all the "right things" in his recovery. He's not just watching "Cougar Town." Of course, that's doc talk. Did any surgeon ever say, "Holy crap, I botched that colon; when we were done, it looked like burnt jambalaya." Of course not. They say, "Blahblahblah," and nobody ever gets sued for blahblah.

I believe Mariano will return. Next year. And the doc cured Sherman's thirst for copy on a slow day. Everything worked. But if Soriano and Robertson collapse, our 9th innings become Cory Wade territory. Mariano Rivera has saved many things in his life. He can't save this season. We're on our own, unless an asteroid hits.

1 comment:

Joe De Pastry said...

Ever since he got hurt I've thought Mo might return for October.