Saturday, April 28, 2018

A Yankee Fan's Prayer




Now I lay me down to sleep,

       (A.k.a., I try to watch a west coast game,)
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
       (I pray Cashman tradeth not prospects for some flashy name,)
If I should die before I 'wake,
       (Because that last brandy hath me twitching,)
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
       (If Cashman giveth up prospects, may he at least get pitching.)
Amen.
       (Booyah!)

26 comments:

HoraceClarke66 said...

Love it!

13bit said...

what god or gods is this prayer directed to?

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Hmmm Suzyn just said when the Yankees signed Stanton, Didi tweeted “Am I still batting cleanup?” And John didn’t correct her. Hmmm.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Suzyn just said “That’s baseball Suzyn”. Everyone knows this is gonna be a long game

Nickname Damur said...

10-0 Yanks after two.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Ten nothing. Mercy rule? For the Yankees fans. Who have to stay up this late. And the LA advertisers who paid for nobody to watch this stuff.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Enjoying EVERY minute of this bloodbath, boooyah!!!!!!!

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Ok I have to admit when Suzyn said something stupid, and then when she said “That’s baseball Suzyn” that a rip in the time space continuum had John and Suzyn switching bodies and voices... but when discussing John Wettleland’s nail biters John said “Wetteland has the Perils of Pauline every night”. Whew that was a relief... Suzyn and John have returned to their own bodies. To save you from googling it, “The Perils of Pauline is a 1914 American melodrama film serial shown in weekly installments, featuring Pearl White as the title character.”

13bit said...

Shoot me now...

“More from Rosenthal, who notes (video link via Twitter) that the Yankees have an interesting situation developing at third base. It’s unclear how they’ll divide time at the position between hot-hitting rookie Miguel Andujar and Brandon Drury when the latter returns soon from the DL. Drury has been down with migraines since April 7, opening the door for the 23-year-old Andujar to come up and thrive. But Andujar could head back to the minors or even become trade bait with Drury around, Rosenthal observes. The Yankees are bullish on Drury, whom they had been pursuing for a while before parting with multiple prospects to acquire him from the Diamondbacks in February. Manager Aaron Boone confirmed the Yankees’ high opinion of Drury on Saturday, telling George A. King III of the New York Post and other reporters that they “view him as a front-line third baseman.” Drury’s still just 25 and under control for four years, including this one.”

Anonymous said...

13bit--that's very depressing . . . unless they're just trying to boost the trade value of Drury.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Tonight: Andujar, 3-5, with his usual double. Andujar and Torres? 5-10.

I don't think they're going anywhere. And what IS Boone supposed to say? 'Yeah, Drury was just an insurance pick-up, we don't need that mediocrity anymore?'

Ken Rosenthal can write whatever he wants. The guys who should be packing had a 2-5 day and 2 ribbies...bringing his RBI total to 6, and his BA to .181. And then there's Ellsbury, I hope he's enjoying Florida, He should spend the next 5 months there.

Anonymous said...

HC66--Did it ever occur to you that Rosenthal just doesn't pull stuff out of his ass, like some members of this blog, but bases his reporting on highly placed sources--most likely the imbecile Cashman?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Very sad, too: David Price got lit up tonight. Yanks 2 back in the loss column.

Also, Mets not only lost 12-2, but put in their closer for his 15th appearance in 26 games. Um, what? Isn't Mickey Callaway supposed to be Mr. Pitching Coach? Huh.

Alphonso said...

Ken Rosenthal is paid by Yankee haters to keep us in a constant state of anxiety.

Are we supposed to believe that the Yankees live in a " let's pretend "world, and cannot or will not observe the truth, or the reality unfolding in front of them?

They cannot see the super star emerging at third and, instead, cling to an old fashioned system of giving the job to the one you traded for?

They do not believe in history, and Wally Pipp never existed?

C'mon , this is baseball, not government !

Stop buying Rosenthal's lazy journalism.

Anonymous said...

Rosenthal's "lazy journalism" on this subject is the mirror image of Alphonso's daily blog posts.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Alas, Bitter Buck Anon, people such as Rosenthal probably don't even check in with "a highly placed source" in Yankeeland.

It's one of the wonders of sports reporting that you can violate most of the rules of the rest of journalism.

What do the terms they use even mean? "People close to the Yankees"? That could be a fan standing out on the Grand Concourse. Remember all their inside sources who just KNEW this or that deal was going down in the off-season?

You should see these guys at spring training. They all stand around by the dugouts and repeat the same rumors to each other, over and over again. In about ten minutes, they all think they've scored a big scoop.

Anonymous said...

Sure HC66--that's why Ken Rosenthal is a big-time sportswriter and you're a sputtering mediocrity on a blog that two dozen people read.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


what god or gods is this prayer directed to?

Parvati, particularly when she manifests with 10 arms.

I.e., you can never have enough live arms.

13bit said...

I can get behind that, LBJ...

Anonymous said...

It’s so obvious when that tiny-minded, humorless moron anonymous poster decides to attack well loved blog regulars, hiding behind his anonymity. Too bad we can’t have registered users here.

Anonymous said...

Other Anonymous--you're a disgrace to the name Anonymous. Well-loved regulars--well-loved by the likes of you? That love is the caress of the tarantula. You want registered users, tough guy? Then lead by example, asshole. Post your name, phone number, and address. Waiting. . . .

Anonymous said...

Hey HC66--To give Ken Rosenthal credit where it's due:

Point one: you have no fucking idea what his sources are, but it's a probability unto near certainty that they are more insightful than the dribblings that emerge from your tuchis on this blog every day.

Point two: It's equally probable that Ken Rosenthal has read dozens of books on advanced baseball analysis to your admitted ZERO.

Fair enough comparison?

Anonymous said...

Listening to Jessica Mendoza tonight after enduring scattered innings of Suzyn Waldman: Stephen Hawking compared to The Science Guy; T. S. Eliot compared to Rod McKuen; Anna Magnani compared to Jennifer Aniston. Yes, Mendoza is that good and Waldman is that bad--even worse. Inscrutably witless and trite and, like her boothmate, essentially a mean-spirited suburban gossip.

KD said...

No good can come from insulting Saint Alphonso. NOT GOOD!!

This, I fear, has offended the JuJu gods bigly.

If the Yank's streak is broken tonight, we know who is to blame.

Anonymous said...

KD--you are too stupid to understand that my post to Alphonso was not an insult but a tribute. YOU ARE A MORON.

KD said...

we don't need the wayback machine to know you are an asshole.

I will never grant you any attention again. never.