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Thursday, April 12, 2018

Thoughtful and righteous Redsock Nation celebrates last night's brawl as sign of hope

"Really, it was a test. The Red Sox passed."

So writes "Beer Keg" Rob Bradford, co-author of the acclaimed "Deep Drive: A Long Journey to Discovering the Champion Within," this morning for WEEI, the Redsocks' version of Sinclair Broadcasting. What seemed like a loss last night was actually... a victory!


"Not only did Kelly execute the strategic offering in fine fashion, but then he invited the Yankee to throw fists," Beer Keg magically soliloquizes, in what reads like an audition for Drunk History. "The image of the reliever yelling out to Austin, "Let's go!" was what the people wanted more than anything." 

So goes today's Redsock narrative: Cora's plucky upstarts, having tasted their own blood for the first time since opening day, rose from the trenches and charged the front, fists curled. Joey the Gloves had his pitcher throw at Tyler Austin - 98 miles into the ribs on a cold night. Such courage! Such spirit! Boston went down - well - jeez, how would you say they went down?


Yes, that's it! Those heroic Cowboy Uppers went down throwing bean balls and fists. They did the right thing. They treated an old school slide into second base like the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, and ordered their pitcher to throw at a Yankee. Let's halt nominations for SI's "Sportsman of the Year" award; Joey Cora has it wrapped up. Then again, maybe he wasn't quick enough on the payback trigger.


Hmm. That's a legitimate concern. Why did Cora wait so late to order the bean ball of justice? Could it be he didn't want to give Yankee pitchers multiple chances to retaliate? And why just hit Austin in the ribs? Why not the head? Because he's such a humanitarian?

Today, Joe "Machine Gun" Kelly claims his pitch just - wink, wink - got away. What champions. And last night was a test, all right - a test of MLB's willingness to market brawls (See Rockies/Padres.) Today's headlines? Hooray! they're already fightin'!


Listen: I recognize the game has an unwritten rule of protecting players through the selective use of purpose pitches. Last night, Boston took a minor, questionable event and accelerated it into a surefire brawl, the kind where players can get seriously hurt. When Kelly hit Austin, everybody knew the implications: It was done on purpose, and it would escalate into violence. They did it because they were behind in the game, and felt they had nothing to lose. Such sportsmen. And today the Redsock Nation is a-hoppin' mad, looking for more blood. We know where this is going: Someone will pay a huge price, and MLB can sell more tickets to the fights. Last night, Boston passed Beer Keg Rob's test. It's their long journey to discovering the champion within. 

12 comments:

BernBabyBern said...

That wasn't a "send a message" pitch. That was 98 - it was a "let's hurt this sonovabitch" pitch. That thing goes a little higher and it's in dangerous territory.

JM said...

Usual Sox wahhh-ing over a good slide. So precious and fragile.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Those Cry Baby Sux!
LOVED the fire that Austin brought when he was challenged, maybe this will continue to wake up the Yankees,,,

HoraceClarke66 said...

Of course what they were really hoping for was that some more important Yankee would get hurt in the ensuing free-for-all. Too bad!

Yes, only Sox fanatics would see a game in which they not only lost, but lost, potentially, their second-best pitcher, as a great victory.

Also, Kelly had thrown inside on Austin a pitch or two earlier. Had a Yankee done such an evil thing, the umps would have issued dire warnings against repeating it. Kelly got carte blanche.

13bit said...

SOX = PUSSIES

Anonymous said...

THEY HAVE BEEN HITTING OUR BATTERS FIRST FOR THE PAST 25 YEARS, END OF STORY.

FUCK 'EM.

GO YANKS.

ranger_lp said...

Will be interesting when the retaliation happens. Watch out if the game is a blow out tonight. I see a bonus in Warren, Shreve or German's future.

Tommy Dee said...

Did their catcher keep his mask on during the fight? It’s the DNA.

Anonymous said...

If our guys are smart, they will wait until May 8 thru 10, when the Pink Pussies have to come visit our turf - - then, let 'em have it! Perhaps by then, the standings will equal out a bit, as well...they can't play Toronto & Tampa Bay forever, after all.

Must admit, that game last night was pretty enjoyable, even standing up and watching (courtesy of the pineapple shards from three of the previous four games - - very painful shards, at that).

I still wasn't impressed one bit by Ma Boone, though - - still continuing his one pitcher, one inning, from the bullpen, whether it was an easy, five-pitch inning, or a laborious, 30-pitch inning...yes, I know, with one exception - - the Chadster - - who, btw, was pretty much on last night, thank goodness...but WHY - - somebody please tell me, WHY - - put El Chapo in, automatically, in the ninth, when we are ahead?? D-Rob was cruisin', and he had a very easy eighth; even if it HAD been a save situation (which El Chapo quickly MADE it into), is there something so wrong with D-Rob getting a save??

I will concede that Ma Boone is only part of the problem, to date - - but it still annoys the hell outta' this life-long fan - - and it WILL cost us too many games, over the course of the season - - if he keeps it up.

If it's really Coops Cash-Puss who'e pulling his strings - - well, SCREW COOPS (world's greatest MILB GM), TOO!!

Hope I can actually SIT and watch, tonight... LB (No J)

HoraceClarke66 said...

Anon, you do have a point. Why must our closer be in a game with a 4-run lead? On the other hand, it was a game we could not afford to blow.

Do we know who our no. 5 starter is going to be yet? German?

ranger_lp said...

@Horace...I thought it was Cessa...

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