Sunday, April 22, 2018

This just in!

There is a shocking story out today about how a sex cult run by an heiress to the Seagram's fortune has set up shop in Brooklyn.

This stunning report brings some immediate questions to mind:

—Exactly where is this cult? How many women are involved in it? And how does one join?

—Are you allowed to follow baseball? I mean, in between all the sex and Seagram's?

Inquiring libidos want to know!

13 comments:

Rufus said...

Is there a waiting list?

Publius said...

Arod's spokesperson declines to comment.

JM said...

The crowd just gave Torres a standing ovation as he came to the plate for the first time, chanting his name.

Do you think the fans know something?

How tired of the bullshit acquisitions do you think they are?

Torres did need to work off the rust, but the fans want the kids. If Hal likes money, he's listening.

HoraceClarke66 said...

So a strikeout, a double-play, and he takes the collar.

No need to worry. Our starting pitcher threw 7 whole innings!!

And Miggy went 4-4, to move over .300. Hmm, what makes me think Mr. Drury needs to purchase that first baseman's glove, and soon?

Of course, you-know-who went 0-4. But hey, only one strikeout! Grasping at straws here, I know...

JM said...

AnDUjar took a little while to get going. I'll give Torres some time.

Leinstery said...

I'll continue to hate on Andujar, I don't flip on my opinions that easily... Please disregard everything I said about the Binders prior to 3 weeks ago.


But we have something to keep an eye on, the NFL draft. Yes I know it's been talked about to death for about 2 months but we as fans of the Master have a dog in this. When Judge hit that homerun on 3-0 John said to expect Judge to swing and hit it far. Then it happened. When Hicks got a base-hit in the 7th today, John declared "Swung on, MAYFIELD". This was a little less direct than the straight up prediction, but John seemed discombobulated all day. My theory is he was overwhelmed by his ability to see into the future and instead of calling "base-hit, leftfield" he told us who the Jets are drafting this Thursday.

One of the Master's most notable catchphrases is "You can't predict baseball (Suzyn)." What if he's been lying to the world this whole time? Has he been doing that to avoid becoming a tool for the CIA or the KGB? Has every jinx he's ever laid on the Yanks actually been a way to play the fool to hide his ability? Well find out Thursday. Baker Mayfield to the Jets and we abandon our lives and found a monastery dedicated to the worship of John Sterling.

Anonymous said...

HC66 -- You already have a redundant mediocrity at first base in Neil Walker, who is already subtracting playing time from the obviously superior all-around player in Tyler Austin. Why add another in Brandon Drury? To compound the problem?

You ought to change your alias to Brian Cashman.

Joe of AZ said...

Long live the binders.... Until we actually pick up A REAL manager who actually does something besides stand there and do his great impression of a GQ nag mag poster boy. Maybe we can scrounge one up in this underground cult were taking about here.

-Arod would not comfirm nor deny his attendance

HoraceClarke66 said...

BBA, you have a point for once.

Just trying to figure out something for Drury to do. I'd love to trade him on, preferably for pitching...but who is going to take anything for him at this point?

Soooo...what's YOUR idea for what to do with Mr. Drury, now that we have him? I would actually like to hear your ideas.

Anonymous said...

Well I'm no BBA but I'll take a shot at it.

Drury is a perfectly serviceable ball player. His issue is migraines. There has been a recent breakthrough in treatment.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/02/03/581092093/gone-with-a-shot-hopeful-new-signs-of-relief-for-migraine-sufferers

Once his migraines are a thing of the past he can fulfill his potential like Hicks and Didi. Meaning we can trade him. He needs to go to Triple A to "recover" and then we can ship him out.

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Think his playing well in Triple-A will be enough to up his trade value, Doug K.? Just wondering. But yes, it would be great to move him.

Alphonso said...

I have the private phone number of that Seagram's Heiress, if you want it. Duque and Mustang, nobles that they are, turned me down. They scoffed at my prurient interests.

But I drink their alcohol in quantity, so I have insights.

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