Thursday, August 14, 2008

Bush Threatens to Defend Georgia; Pre-empting the Pennant Race

Bush Demands Moscow Withdraw Forces.

President Bush sent troops to Atlanta on Wednesday, to oversee a " vigorous and ongoing " humanitarian mission to support our democracy down there.

Bush was able to command one tank and 4 troopers ( with blue UN helmets) to stand watch over the I-84 viaduct leading into center city.

"It is unacceptable that the Russians have now occupied two Georgia cities and are threatening both the Burger King and a KFC franchisee on the outskirts of town."

The decision to send the American military deepened the United State's commitment to Georgia and, in President bush's own words, " to all of the Southern States, if needed."

" We have always defended and supported our friends; just ask the Cambodians, the Vietnamese, the Laotians, the Burmese, Iraqi interpreters and their families and, of course, all our good friends in Africa."

In Georgia, President Mikheil Saakashvli , who has sharply criticized what he called a failure of the West ( e.g Colorado, Wyoming, etc ) to support his country ( note: likely to remain a democracy until week's end ), declared the relief operation " a joke." In response, an American military spokesperson said , " although the Navy had been ordered to assist, it had made no plans and no ships were en route. "

In a promise to " the American People," President Bush asserted that nothing has changed. The Atlanta Braves will play their game tonight in Fulton stadium, and I encourage all fans to attend. We are ready to quell any disturbances with rubber bullets, lattes and flags of the State, " barked our Commander -in-Chief.

Asked if we really had sufficient military resources to take on the Russian invasion, Mr. Bush referred this reporter to a recruiting oficer of the US Army, on duty at the University of Georgia campus.

You need us on that wall. And we are there for you.

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