Friday, August 22, 2008

McCain Lack of Memory Undermining Satire Industry

WASHINGTON _ Humor thinktanks Friday were up in arms over a claim by presidential candidate John McCain that he does not know how many houses he owns.

"How the fuck do we top that?" cried a writer for the humor magazine The Onion. "What's our headline? 'McCain says he doesn't know how many fingers he has?' That's not funny. 'McCain says he doesn't know how many times he's slept with his wife?' Christ, I'm losing it. This guy has always been our friend. How can he turn around like this and screw us? Wait! 'McCain says he doesn't know how many appendixes he is!' Aw, forget it."

Asked Friday by IIH, IIF, IIc why he cannot remember how many houses he owns, McCain deferred to a spokesman, who later said:

"John McCain spent five years in an enemy prison camp, dammit! Did you? How many reporters and think-you're-funny fuckers like you spent five years in a prison camp? When a guy -- or lady -- has spent five years in a prison camp, then maybe he -- or she! -- will have the right to ask trick questions. Until then, we're running this campaign on the issues."

Correction: A McCain spokesman later called to stress that McCain spent five and a half years in the prison camp. As for the original question, uhm, we forgot it -- wait! -- oh yeah -- "How dare Barack Obama belittle a man who spent five and a half years in a prison camp, and what does it say about our media when they are playing the "How many houses do you have?" card in their slimy attempts to confuse a former 5 and 1/2 year prisoner of war?


Anonymous said...

He's an old man. Leave him alone.

Don't subject him to any stress or pressure. His wife is rich and probably still looks pretty good naked, so don't get him thinking too much.

Cowgirl-Up said...

That explains everything. Maybe he also forgot how long 100 years is...