Wednesday, April 11, 2018

The Master plans to sing for Giancarlo

Posted by el duque at 10:05 AM

Apparently, the first Stanton homer holler couldn't last two weeks.

 Now this.

6 comments:

13bit said...

Maybe - and I never thought I'd say this - it's time for the Master to hang up his spurs, wipe down his chaps, and pull out a lawn chair, from which he can watch the lazy Hudson River wend by his place in Edgewater. Does he still live there after the fire? Does he wear a thong under those chaps? Only The Shadow knows.

I used to - back when I was a Jets fan - think that they might win again only after every last member of the '69 team died. I no longer think that. I am no longer a fan of the Jets or of professional football. My last remaining vice - and it will be until the end - is the Yankees. I'm not counting women or pizza as vices and I no longer sniff glue or smoke crack, so it's down to the men in pinstripes.

Anyway, I don't really think the Master has to go, but I am beginning to think that his obsession with the Stanton home run call is starting to put a dent in the hyper-cosmic waves that hold the JuJu-verse together. As my compass needle wildly spins in search of something or someone to blame (avoiding the obvious, the crackhead who assembled this team, and the non-obvious turd in the juju-bowl named Randy) I can only begin to home in on the Stanton call being a force for evil at this point.

Perhaps, the most radical of actions is needed - NO SPECIAL CALL FOR STANTON. Just announce it like one of those fossilized turds that used to be on Boston radio would announce a home run - in a low voice devoid of aspect. These are desperate times and yes, we will be lucky to win 85 at this point.

If George were still alive, Brian and Booney would be cleaning the Scranton toilets with toothbrushes.

April 11, 2018 at 10:34 AM
Anonymous said...

What's with the Italian HR calls? Stanton has ZERO Italian heritage--mostly African American and Irish, according to Wikipedia. Sterling is a moron.

April 11, 2018 at 2:21 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...

Beautifully written, 13bit! The Yankees are also my last vice—no, bourbon is not a vice, but nirvana—having given up the Knicks years ago. That's why this year is such a disappointment.

Anon, you have a point. Maybe Sterling should turn to something like "Erin go bragh!" when Giancarlo hits one. Assuming he ever hits another.

April 11, 2018 at 2:55 PM
Stang said...

Giancarlo is commonly an Italian name. The Master sees this clearly, and he acts. He is The Master.

April 11, 2018 at 7:08 PM
Anonymous said...

Mustang: John is commonly a Protestant name, but Sterling is Jewish. Mustang is commonly the name of a car or a horse, but you, presumably, are a human being. So what's your point? I think Stanton probably finds the whole thing at least puzzling and probably offensive.

April 12, 2018 at 1:55 AM
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July 10, 2021 at 12:58 AM

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