Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup

I agree with Vampifella, who wrote, "Is too early for a fire sale for future prospects? I don't want to see the team empty the minor leagues for crap under-the-budget players whom won't really improve the team." 

That said, I wonder what we can get for Betances and Chapman? Although that big fat contract we laid on Chappie would probably preclude any team from taking him, unless we continued to pay a chunk of his salary. We keep Green, Robertson, Warren, Shreve (no Kahnle, any supportive stats be damned). Perhaps Mariano can be enticed to come out of retirement if we give gazillions of dollars to his ministry. Hey, it's worth a shot. He's still looks like he's in great shape, and, like Jake and Elwood, we'd be on a mission from Gahd. The reason we have so few bench players is because we carry so many questionable to worthless pitchers. And has any reliever ever had a more ironic name than Holder?

We really should just cut Ells or pay his salary while he doesn't play for someone else. I like the guy, I respect the guy, but come on. He's a china doll in the (very) twilight of his career. The real concerns are the younger guys on the DL. Cashman will never trade Hicks, but he ought to. Go with Stanton/McKinney (get well soon, kid--please), Gardy, and Judge. Has anybody here seen our old friend Frazier? Can you tell me where he's gone? If he ever recovers from his headbanging, he should be the left fielder most days, and share that patch with Clank.

Our pitching rotation really consists of Severino, Tanaka, Monty, maybe Sonny. I wonder how Sonny would do in the bullpen? But maybe that's premature. He has, as you know, great stuff. Although Green has great stuff and has been teased with the possibility of starting. This might be a good time. CC is going to have trouble with his hip all season, and it may KO him completely at some point. Maybe our fourth starter should alternate between Gray and Green. How colorful! Who pitches when would depend on how much work either one is getting in the pen at any point in time, of course.

Migraines suck, and even though I've only had a couple in my lifetime, I feel for Drury. But they don't last 10 days. Something else is going on there. Bird's career may have flown the coop already. It's impossible to be optimistic about him, but I suppose we can try to not be pessimistic. Regardless, he ain't playing, and we have no idea what we'll get when he comes back. Ty Austin should be the everyday first baseman until that happens, with Wade/Walker at second.

Sanchez has to stay healthy. Has to. No ifs, ands, or buts. And everyone who isn't suffering from an ailment of one kind or another has to start hitting, consistently. I assume the Yankees' best baseball people assume it's just a matter of time. Those are the same guys who traded Cave and the other minor league guys to get us where we are now.

Andujar is young, and hopefully, as he does better, I'll get used to calling him AnDUjar instead of ANdujar. Torres needs a little more time in Scranton to scrape off the rust and get used to his newly relocated tendon. (The Intertubes say the tendon can come from a volunteered cadaver, but let's say "relocated" and sleep at night.)

It's too early to panic. If we were 1-7, it wouldn't be. But obviously, we're not going to be the 1984 Tigers and put in a ridiculously hot April then coast to the playoffs.

However, it may be time to be concerned. I'm already looking into the necessary forms for admission to the Psycho-Neurotic Institute for the Very, Very Nervous. Their whiskey selection seems pretty limited, but it might have to suffice.