Tuesday, June 28, 2022

At Least Lets Do It Right


This morning El Duque wrote that he wishes to continue to taunt Altuve.

OK, I get it and I agree, but I just want to give an explanation as to what I was thinking…

I pictured a Yankee Stadium eerily silent. No one moving. Just the sound of the wind. People frozen in mid-hotdog. A Twilight Zone moment that would mess with his head. Done like a pop-up dance thing like we see on the internet.

The jumbotron flashes the "go sign" and it's Rod Serling time!

I guess that wasn't practical.

Well whatever we're doing doesn't work. Maybe we need new taunts because, "Assssssshole. Asssssshole." just isn't getting it done.

How about, "Ti-ny Dick. Ti-ny Dick."  I'm pretty sure it has to be true which is why he uses that oversized bat. (Or, is it a regular bat and he's just undersized.) If we're going taunt him then taunt him! 

Besides, even if he doesn't have one, he most certainly IS one. 

Or... 

Have someone to sneak into the booth and change his walk up music to  “The Lollipop Guild” song from the Wizard of Oz.

Or... 

Place a very small drone in a paper bag and fly it around his head when he’s at bat and blame it on swirling winds.

Or...

Just walk the cheating douchebag.

Every. Frigging. Time.

73 comments:

DickAllen said...



Fuck Altuve. That little shit.

I've got more important things on my mind this morning, namely:

Joey (what adult calls himself Joey?) Gallo: .169/.280/.618
Estevan Florial: .288/.365/.802

I don't care how much money he's making, he's not making it. This stiff needs to go. If ever there was a good time to bring the kid up and leave him in there, it's now, when the team is currently 12 games up in the AILC. They can carry him easier and with more productivity than...I can barely say the man's name anymore without...

Somebody pass me the bottle.


Doug K. said...

Good point about being up 12 and having some room to experiment. Seriously, if not now, when?

Whoever they bring up literally can not be worse.

JM said...

As far as Altuve goes, I wholeheartedly support the Oz option. Seeing him walk up to the plate with Lollopop Kids blaring...that would just be great.

JM said...

Too bad Bill Veeck isn't around anymore. He could sign Altuve as the new midget. Or little person, or whatever I'm supposed to call such individuals.

ZacharyA said...

Florial has a 31 K% against AAA pitching, feels like he's gonna be Gallo 2.0.

But whatever, even if he's Gallo 2.0 at least we tried something.

The real solution is probably a trade, but will Cashman act or do we need to sit through another month of Joey? I'm not even asking for a superstar, just someone who can beat .169/.280/.339.

(CIN) Albert Almora Jr.
(KCR) Andrew Benintendi
(PIT) Ben Gamel
(DET) Robbie Grossman
(SEA) Mitch Haniger
(CHC) Ian Happ
(OAK) Ramón Laureano
(CIN) Tyler Naquin
(ARI) David Peralta
(OAK) Chad Pinder
(KCR) Michael A. Taylor

DickAllen said...


Zach, Florial can beat all of those numbers.

Gallo: 82Ks/183ABs
Florial: 74Ks/215ABs

Gallo: 1SB
Florial: 23SB

Granted, Florial's numbers are against AAA pitching, but anything would be better than Gallo, but trading away a 24yo CF with very good AAA numbers is suicide, something The Intern is wildly attracted to. Florial is going to be a very good player for somebody. And it will likely be sooner rather than later.

If I was going to take any of those guys on your list, it would be Benintendi - I'd like to see HIM riding the horse.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Lollipop guild would be funny, but the manfredites (rhymes with troglodytes) wouldn't let it go past one day.

DickAllen said...


PLUS...

Every one of those guys on your list is anywhere from 4 to 10 years older than Florial, only four of them are lefty bats, and only one of them is hitting above 275 - Benintendi. Haniger has played in all of 9 games this year. We've already done Gamel.

Hmmmm... aging ballplayers, right-handed batters, low BA... low OBP... high K rate...

Catnip to The Intern.

ZacharyA said...

Dick,

When is the last time the Yankees developed a position player, trade him away, and he became a quality player for years for another team?

It's been quite a long time. Mike Lowell?

Frankly, our position player development is terrible and I have zero expectations for anyone in our farm system.

Florial is turning 25 this year. According to all scouting reports I've read, he is still unable to hit offspeed pitches. That's been his MO for his entire professional career. It ain't gonna get easier in the majors.

Joey Gallo has set the bar so low that Florial will likely cross it just due to his youth: better speed and defense. But if you think Florial is going to be a "very good player," I think you're going to be extremely disappointed.

The transition from AAA to MLB is a killer, and the minors are littered with former top prospects who can hit the fastball but can't recognize anything else.

AboveAverage said...

We bitch about THE TWITCH

But - - - he will go away

Be patient gentlemen

It will happen soon*












*2 - 4 weeks




ranger_lp said...

So the 6 run 7th inning was a Joey Whiffs sandwich...he made the first out and the last out...

That's all you need to know about him...

AboveAverage said...

Can there be such a thing as an empty sandwich . . .


THE TWITCHWICH!

or,

THE SANDTWITCH!

You decide!

ZacharyA said...

There have been 20 players in Yankees history with a sub-.200 BA in their career with the club (min. 400 PA).

16 of those players were pitchers

1 was a catcher named Walter Blair who played for the New York Highlanders from 1907 to 1911, so I don't know if he even counts.

The remaining three:
Joey Gallo .164 BA in 439 PA
Kyle Higashioka .181 BA in 537 PA
Stephen Drew .187 BA in 583 PA

Hey at least we get to see a part of baseball history.

borntorun999 said...

Yes, Florial’s #’s in AAA look good, but his K rate is alarming, especially for a player who is not a big power threat. He projects more like a 4th OF-er type at best. Still, he would definitely be an upgrade over Gallo, who has been incredibly bad by any standard. Miguel Andujar is outperforming everyone at SWB, but in a limited role (since Hicks, who was signed as a CF-er, has devolved into a LF-er) I’d prefer a LH bat. If Andujar is recalled, he should be the everyday LF-er, Hicks to the bench. Right now Gallo has no trade value whatsoever, we would have to pay most of his salary AND attach a prospect to move him. Conclusion: Gallo should be released immediately and Andujar recalled. See what’s available at the T/D for lefty power.

ranger_lp said...

@borntorun999: https://theathletic.com/3367735/2022/06/17/mlb-trade-deadline-2022-targets/

HoraceClarke66 said...

Thanks, Zach—very informative!

The potential upside of Florial is that, as a rook, he might have a couple good weeks before the league catches up to him. And he is a better fielder and can steal bases. But no, he is not any kind of real upgrade.

We have to have Miggy back up, for starters.

JM said...

999 is reading my mind. I second his proposals.

Parson Tom said...

Andujar! Yes. How soon we forget that poor little guy.

It's hard to see how a major league hitter like Andujar has to ride the Scranton bus while Joey and Hicksy present all the clinical symptoms of being entirely defeated.

Yeah, sure. I'd rather have a lefty bat, meaning a lefty bat that does more than strike out three times per game. Andujar hits the ball hard. Let him eat!

Local Bargain Jerk said...


I third 999's proposals.

HoraceClarke66 said...

But do you second that emotion?

borntorun999 said...

In order to make room on the roster for tonight’s starter, JP Sears, the team has DFA’d Manny Bañuelos

TheWinWarblist said...

Maaaaaannnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'd bet he takes the Scranton assignment.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I also concur with BTR's proposals.

AboveAverage said...

baseball is hard

Mildred Lopez said...


Man, if Combover Cashman could somehow steal Montas.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

That was not a strike if Altuve was at bat.

borntorun999 said...

Gallo smacking Hicks tight in the kisser on that catch…everything he does sucks. What an oaf.

BTW, I didn’t see if that was a bad send by the 3b coach or if Donaldson blew through the stop sign.

Either way it was a terrible decision.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Worse if Donaldson ran through/

TheWinWarblist said...

Marwin doing the little things.

Do you think the A's are enjoying their stay in NY? I mean you've only won 50 games. You're on the road at Yankee Stadium playing These Our 2022 New York Yankees. Are you happy being swept or maybe only winning one game as long as you can get to some nice restaurants and some decent night life?

borntorun999 said...

Gonzalez actually has been on a bit of a tear lately…

Rufus T. Firefly said...

What happened to that two minute youtube video of Joey Callo bunting into the shift?

AboveAverage said...

A TREEEEEEEEE grows . . .

TheWinWarblist said...

Fucking right a Trevino grows in Brooklyn.

TheWinWarblist said...

Sears has only thrown 41 pitches through 3. Anyone know what The master or Suzyn said about the how deep the Yanks want him to go?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Rizzo putting it in Callo's face with that bunt attempt.

Woul have been better if it worked.

TheWinWarblist said...

67 pitches through 5 with 8 ground ball outs.

TheWinWarblist said...

It's fun to watch. Or listen to.

DickAllen said...


Well, it seems only fair we should call up a AAA pitcher to oppose a AAA team.

DickAllen said...


And there goes our AAA right fielder, whiffing again. He's up to a 45% K ratio so far this year.

TheWinWarblist said...

Is there someway we can consign Gallo to the Ellsbury Memorial Hot Tub? There's gotta be right? There just has to be!!

TheWinWarblist said...

He wouldn't take a minor league assignment to "work on his swing," would he?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The Ellsbury Hot Tub. Once you go in, you never get out!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

That Sears kid is OK. Not like that awful Roebuck kid.

Doug K. said...

Kid did a good job.

DickAllen said...

And he’ll be on the turnpike back to SWB after the game

DickAllen said...

Do you think he’s gets a limo or an Uber?

ranger_lp said...

Someone has to be demoted when Rolaids returns…

JM said...

How about Rolaids?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Callo has a chance to not strike out.

ranger_lp said...

Joey Whiffs whiffed…

Rufus T. Firefly said...

or not...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Why does it feel like they're losing?

TheWinWarblist said...

Annnnd Gallo is still awful.

TheWinWarblist said...

Boone is savage in the dugout. Savage.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

OK, it's that time of the night where my posts start getting deleted.

This sucks.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

OH, fork me.

Catcher's interference.

TheWinWarblist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TheWinWarblist said...

So annoying.

TheWinWarblist said...

The Master already warbled! Will we get a second warble!? We shall see!

TheWinWarblist said...

Or will Holmes blow the game?

JM said...

He doesn't seem to be the same since the interference call.

TheWinWarblist said...

I am going to be very angry. I see it coming...

JM said...

His head was into the clubhouse.

ranger_lp said...

Yankees Win!!!

JM said...

Now warble.

TheWinWarblist said...

Thuhuhuh-UHUHUH-uhuhuhuhhh-aaahhaaahhhhhh-UHUHUH Yankees win!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

TWO WARBLE NIGHT!!!

HoraceClarke66 said...

I thought Holmes held up pretty well, considering that there was the catcher's interference, then that miserable, broken-bat single that just got over Gonzalez's head. Just one bad pitch, really.

Of course, Cameron Maybin lauded Steven Vogt's great, last-inning heroics. Cam, it was a busted bat, Texas Leaguer. Vogt, who was hitting, I think, .143, looked totally overmatched.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Rufus, whattaya talk? Ed Roebuck was 52-31 lifetime, with 62 saves, and pitched quite well against our guys in two World Series.

:)

HoraceClarke66 said...

Sox lost. In the bottom of the ninth. Aww.

TB lost.

Lead is now 12 1/2.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Never sad when the carmines lose.

I have a plausible reason why posts are deleted. Google (otherwise known as the Borg -- you *will* assimilate!) has new two factor authorization rule, requiring you to give them your cell phone #, a tissue sample from your parietal lobe and your first born male child. Since there are no cell phones in Freedonia, I am a undesirable. I'd bet the other folks that are having the same issue are just as undesirable.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Damn! He cracked the code! Now we'll have to—oh, hey there, Rufus, didn't realize you were still on!