Friday, June 17, 2022

With Judge's decision, the 2022 Yankees can add another win: The Home Run Derby

The Judge has issued a ruling: Rather than risk injury to chase a plastic trophy and facetime with a drooling Chris Berman, Aaron Judge will ditch the 2022 Home Run Derby.

I believe I speak for the Yankiverse in saying, HOORAY!

The derby has been so inconsequential for so long that I cannot pinpoint when it turned into a cross between the NFL Draft Party and Battle of the Network Stars.

The MLB All-Star game is already lame enough, with fans breathing relief when their players are removed, so they won't get hurt in meaningless farce. This year, Nestor Cortez - with his wide smile and feelgood narrative - will probably be a featured character. Thus, the Yankees will do their part in selling the cornpone. But Judge should not subject himself to the stresses of such a night. Junior Guerrero, she's all yours...

I believe the derby first Fonzied the shark in 2015, when - in a clash of titans - the immortal Todd Frazier topped the eternal Joe Pederson. Did you know that Yoenis Cespedes - aka Humanus Centepedes - won two derbies? I looked it up - not because I'd forgotten it, but because I never fukking cared about it, to begin with; you can't forget what you refused to take in. 

Jogginson Cano won in 2011. Great night for the Yankees? Nope. Missed it. As a Phillie, Bobby "the Wall Flower" Abreu won in 2005 - displaying power he would never show in pinstripes. That night, Abreu blasted 41 HRs, a new derby record! Over three years with the Yankees, he hit 43.

I associate the Derby with two images:

1. Chris Berman's insane attempts to manufacture excitement by wailing "Back, back, back... GONE" 100 times per half-hour. I believe Berman's keepers must lock him in a sensory deprivation tank for 12 months, then taze his balls, give him magic mushrooms and a Vulcan mind-meld with Ryan Seacrest, and set him loose. 

2. Aaron Judge in 2017, egged on by the electrically reanimated Berman, straining his shoulder and suffering a second-half slump. Until now, Judge's brilliant rookie season has never been repeated, and I - for one - don't want him near the derby that night. If he needs air time, do The Masked Singer. 

Last night, Michael Kay suggested Judge's resurgence stems from his ability to lay off curves outside of the strike zone. I'd say it's because of his ability to lay off diversions like the HR derby. 

The Yankees might send six players to the All-Star game: Judge, Cortez, Clay Holmes, Anthony Rizzo, Michael King and Luis Severino. (They'll probably do fewer,  three or four.) Whatever. That's enough. Let our players rest. 

Quick thoughts:

1. We must not sleep on Tampa. Last time we played the Rays, we won the first two, and they stormed back for the final two. We hit Tampa next week. Nothing has been decided here. We'll see.

2. Fourteen home wins in a row: With the final at-bat, you always feel this team will win.

3. I'm starting to feel pathos for Joey Gallo. Guy seems a good person, a fine teammate. But how long does this go on? Even when Gallo's "hitting," he's not hitting. Last night, Marwin Gonzalez made a great catch in RF to save the game. Gallo is competent out there, but would he have caught  it? We'll never know. Boone pinch hit for Gallo, because he's not delivering. It's a gaping hole. 

4. So... how is it that the Yankees had Ryan Weber stashed away in Scranton, for no other purpose than to shut down our nemesis for one night and then get released? (They DFA'ed him after the game?) Let's hope Weber signs with somebody outside the AL East. And let's hope he gets a Yankees world series share for Christmas. Seacrest, out.

19 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

I have no words, but fuck. Just fuck the fuck is going on.

Fuck?

Dantes said...

I had pretty much forgotten the human centipede, had to look up what happened to him. He just opted out and never came back? Not even on a minor league/non roster invite. Seems odd

JM said...

I can't believe they let Weber go after that performance. Wait...it's Cashman, so yeah, I can believe it.

And then there's this: "I believe Berman's keepers must lock him in a sensory deprivation tank for 12 months, then taze his balls, give him magic mushrooms and a Vulcan mind-meld with Ryan Seacrest, and set him loose."

Only from the mind of el Duque.

ranger_lp said...

Only thing that makes sense is that Weber's K rate is 16.9% which is low for being a Yankee...they might have showcased him if they are considering a trade for someone on their radar...

Mildred Lopez said...


Hicks has the baseball IQ of an old fucking rosin bag. Donaldson leads off the inning with a single, Hicks has the whole left side of the field as wide open and desolate as goddamn western Kansas. Does he keep the inning alive? Fuuuuuuck noooooo. 30-30 Iron Man Hicks pulls into the shift, hits into a double play, potential rally duly killed.

Maybe I'm misremembering. Few gins in, house full of my daughter's friends. Some hysteria to be expected. Still though, Hicks stinks.

borntorun999 said...

Hopefully Weber slips through waivers and accepts an assignment in SWB. YOU KNOW 1 or 2 of the starters will go do with injury at some point.

Mildred, absolutely cannot stand Hicks. 3 more years of this guy? Fucking Cashman.

TheWinWarblist said...

Mildred, you're not misremembering. Hicks is a useless waste of a roster spot, with no way to unload him because of his contract.

TheWinWarblist said...

BTR99, some guy named Dom German or something is supposed to be getting a promotion to the starting rotation sometime soon?

ZacharyA said...

Are you all really lamenting the possible loss of Ryan Weber, a 31-year-old with a career 5.22 ERA across parts of eight seasons with five teams? He's minor-league fodder. He had to sign a minor-league deal this offseason and may very well clear waivers and go right back to Scranton (where he's allowed 13 R in 21.1 IP). I get that he pitched fine last night against a bad lineup (reminder the Rays are 24th in runs scored and down two of their best hitters), but his stuff isn't good. He's not a major-leaguer. It was a good story and I salute him for coming through clutch, but you gotta see the bigger picture here.

TheWinWarblist said...

ZachA, are you really going to try and talk sense to these hypersensitive hyperexcitable hyperemotional pontificating fonts of hysteria?

Doug K. said...

I agree with El Duque. The Home Run Derby is just a flat out stupid event. Maybe they should just turn it into a charity fundraiser for hatless waifs where everyone wears a derby. They could hold it at the Brown Derby in Los Angeles. Try the Grapefruit Layer Cake it's over rated.

Or a crossover event where MLB's top hitters hit line drive fungos at the Kentucky Derby. NOT AT HORSES! That would be cruel. I'm thinking into the stands. Aim for the owner's box.

Last,

Something, something, something... Durward Kirby... something, something, something...

HoraceClarke66 said...

I like the cut of your jib, Doug K.!

And I'm with Zach about Webber. I think we got lucky there, a little-seen guy who was on, on the right night.

Plus, HOW DARE YOU CRITICIZE THE SACRED CASHMAN, WHO IS OBVIOUSLY VINZ CLORTHO, THANE OF HAL-ZUUL THE GATEKEEPER???? ALL WHO STAND IN THEIR WAY SHALL BE CAST INTO THE ETERNAL CAULDRON OF DESPAIR!

borntorun999 said...

Hi Winnie, his last action was a successful 3 innings of live batting practice on Wed, he will begin throwing in minor league games next week. The team views him as a starter, meaning he’ll have to get stretched out. The timetable for a possible Bronx appearance would be late July, but it really depends on the shape of the pitching staff at that point, doesn’t it? The Yanks have shown they have no qualms about young players wither away in the Scranton purgatory. (See: Andujar, Miguel)

borntorun999 said...

Zach, I have no illusions about Weber, I just like to have some usable depth in the org, especially when it comes to pitching. Unlikely we get through the rest of the season without some kind of injury event.

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ Mildred....Here is my post from last night"

I hate Hicks. Lead off single in a tight game. So what does he do? Why he swing as hard as he can to try and hit a home run, of course. Always tries to pull the ball into the shift instead of playing situational baseball and going the other way for a hit or at least advance the runner. What a stupid fuck. Not the kind of player you want on your team. I pray he gets hurt

June 16, 2022 at 9:23 PM

JM said...

Weber is the kind of guy you want to root for, kind of like Nestor. Not that he'll turn out to be another Nestor--far from it--but I was instilled with this cockamamie idea when I was young that when you do good, you should get another chance. And like 999 said, ya never know when you'll need more pitchers, even if some or most of them don't pan out in the longer run.

Hicks, however, sucks. They're giving him more rope than they gave Knaublach, and that was a lot of rope.

Mildred Lopez said...


Carl J...

Awful sorry for the thought theft. I wasn't in the thread last night. Wife and I were relegated to the closed-in porch with a roomful of teenaged girls watching Dead Poet's Society in the living room on MY YANKEES TV!

But Hicks. Made that inane 30-30 comment and now it's like, fuck it, need 29 more so I better get my ass busy.

The Hammer of God said...

Judge says he's better this year because he's cranking up the pitching machine to number 11. They usually go up to 10, but this one goes to 11.

The home run derby is a joke. The "pitcher" stands in front of the mound throwing 50 mph. Take a few hundred swings off that, no wonder you go into a slump. It's completely different from real pitching, with a real pitcher on a mound. The timing will be different. The trajectory of the ball is different. It's inevitable that you'd alter your swing and reinforce terrible mechanics. Win the home run derby, you'll reinforce those bad habits even more because you faced more of these joke pitches.

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ Mildred...didn't mean to imply theft just that GMTA.