Wednesday, June 15, 2022

The Rays come to NY, bearing gifts and dismaying the huge, global fan base they do not have

Okay, we still fear The Collapse, we're angry about Joey Gallo and edgy over Aaron Judge's contract... but but BUT... close your eyes and imagine being a Tampa Bay Devil Ray fan today...

1. Your team just squandered a quality start by Cory Kluber. How many more can you rightfully expect? Guy's 36 and threw 80 innings last year. He's now at 61.2. Tick-tick-tick...

2. Your DH in right field, Manuel Margot, cost you last night's game by flubbing a Macauley Culkin pop fly. Cue the reverse highlight reel. It landed in the center of his glove and bounced, as if hitting pavement. Wow.

3. You're starting to wonder if your brain trust - known for dealing young stars before their paydays - has kept Randy Arozarena just a tippy tad too long. Two years ago, he was the next Hank Aaron. Now, the next Aaron Hicks?

4. Your bullpen is shot. JP Feyereisen is out. Pete Fairbanks is out. Andrew Kitteridge is out. Your three current healthy closers have saved nine out of 14. 

5. A tweakable quad has sidelined your franchise star, Wander Franco, for the second time this year. He might watch both series against the Yankees from the hot tub. Also, he's hitting .270 with 4 HRs. Four. Your brain trust signed him for 11 years - $182 million. Think he'll stay that long?  

6. Your team is now 10 behind the Yankees. You've been passed by Toronto and - uh oh - you're just three up on Boston. The AL East is a tough neighborhood.

7. For the next two weeks, Tampa will be a hockey town. Then, around July 15, everybody will start drooling over Brady's Bucs. Nobody wants to go outside, and the Covid numbers are rising along with the air conditioning bill. Not many people are going to come to Rays games, especially if the team is dragging.

8. Frankly, not many come now. Tampa ranks 27th in MLB home attendance - a measly 13,739 per game - beating only Pittsburgh, Miami and Oakland, three teams with a combined record of 38 games below .500. Yikes. This is embarrassing. When the Yanks visit next week, their fans will be loud, drowned out only by the brutal and never-stopping sound effects (which caused John Sterling to stay home?) You're starting to wonder... can Tampa keep this franchise?

So, how long before Kluber hits the block? Or Kevin Kiermaier, who makes $9 million per year. Several Rays will approach their first big contracts paydays next winter. Expect them to be around? The business editors don't.

Sorry. Low blow. 

That said, your team is teetering. It just blew a totally winnable game. Your season isn't over - not by a longshot, especially if you win tonight. But, wow... right now, glad to not be you. 



44 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

80 wins.

So endeth the Juju.

The Archangel said...

The "Rays" get everything they deserve for taking "Devil" out of their name

and for inventing the soul-crushing "designated started" which has Nolan Ryan and Bob Gibson wanted to bean their manager what's his name.

If I was a crude angel I would call them fucking assholes from top to bottom, but I am too virtuous to do that.

JM said...

The worst move by Tampa was their new logo, an asymmetrical cartoon light burst meant to depict the sun's rays or something. Meanwhile, the manta rays swim in their tank beyond the outfield. The old logo of a devil ray was so much better, not that it was great, but so much better in comparison.

This inability to embrace their actual, original name and the groovy swimming creature it came from shows how dysfunctional the franchise actually is. Ugly ballpark, no attendence, identity issues...it all catches up to you, sooner or later.

Your 45-minute hour is up. Please leave a check for $350 with the receptionist.

Platoni said...

A few years back Keiermeier was crowing about how they beat the Yankees with a fraction of their payroll. The moron took it as a point of pride being exploited by a multi billion dollar corporation.

What is it with that franchise? Everything about them is so faceless, Clint Fraser downs fistfuls of Xanax at the thought of playing there.

The Hammer of God said...

Hey, it was a cathartic win, well, it felt almost cathartic. But let's get real. The difference b/w the Tampons and the Yankees last night came down to a Falafel bingle, a stupid error by the Tampons, and a run saving defensive play by Falafel. Falafel was the Yankees' best player last night.

Once again, the Yankees demonstrated their awe-inspiring inability to play ABC baseball and just take what the defense gives. Runners left on; with the sole exception of Falafel, not a hit to be found with runners in scoring position.

So that could've easily been another disgusting loss to the Tampons, instead of an exhilarating win.

With half the Tampon team on the DL, the Yankees better win again tonight.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I know, Hammer. Also, if you didn't notice, Stanton was churning around third with all of the speed and grace of your average Giambi last night.

But...unlike the old, Phil Nevin death waves, sending him made sense with two outs and the arm in question. And the heady base running by Gleyber—"heady base running" and "Gleyber Torres" in the same sentence? WTF is going on???—completed the play.

No, this Yankees team is not this good. But yes, it's great to take advantage of stumbling teams like this when we can. So often, we have not.

TheWinWarblist said...

I will say thia again: I predicted 80 wins for these Our 2022 Yankees. And that's what they will get and then break our hearts.

ZacharyA said...

The Yankees are 44-7 when they score at least 2 runs.

One of the craziest things I've ever read about a Yankees team.

Doug K. said...

How can we pretend that everything is ok when I still read headlines like this from the Daily News?

"Injured Aroldis Chapman throws off Yankee Stadium mound, needs one more session before he faces hitters"

Oy!

or what El Duque wrote today,

"A tweakable quad has sidelined your franchise star, Wander Franco, for the second time this year. He might watch both series against the Yankees from the hot tub."

Because the series he won't watch from the hot tub is the one where we face him in the playoffs.

And there in lies the rub...

This year has actually been, dare I say it, enjoyable. But those expanded playoff rounds, the ones that always reserve a seat for us, is going to be filled with broken glass and shrapnel and Altuves

So eat, drink, and be merry because... Uh, whatever the rest of that saying is. I think it's something about death or maybe it's just hangovers and indigestion. Anyway, it's not good and that's my point.

I'm sorry that I'm negative today. I suspect it's because last night I ate, drank, and was merry.



AboveAverage said...

Just returned from my Nasty Nasty dog walk. Go Get 'em Mr Nestor.

Retired Stratman said...

Horace - re Stanton running the bases - I can’t decide whether he looks like he’s running through Aunt Edna’s flower garden and trying not to step on the tulips, running through a minefield and trying not to step on the mines, or running through my backyard and trying to avoid the dog turds. But it’s one of those.

Doug K. said...

They should show him running in Super Shot it would be like watching a painting.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Very funny! I know. And there was so much that could have gone wrong there. Last year, GC would've been thrown out on the play AND tweaked a hammy. This year...we score another run!

AboveAverage said...

because I often represent my Yankeeness out and about (caps or jerseys or sterling sound chip bottle opener) - people have actually started to point out to me that we're really doing well this year and that we're the real deal. I thank them for their kind and thoughtful words and also express my appreciation that they're not flinging their trash or children's soiled diapers at me. these are surely good times. enjoy them. one day at a time.

Alphonso said...

In a way, since " everyone makes the playoffs now," these games don't really count.

They appear more exciting than they should.

And consume a lot of energy.

And use up all the good luck we are going to need when the games do count.

Sigh.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Funny how most here ( myself included) bitch about the Yankees whether they are winning or losing. But, I feel much more relaxed and content bitching when they are winning constantly. To paraphrase that 1960's cigarette commercial, when the team is losing, I'm "bitching more now but enjoying it less."

JM said...

Everything is great. We're winning in every conceivable way possible. We're an unstoppable freight train plowing through the American League East.

I'm a Libra and always looking for balance, so I thought I'd post that.

Carl J. Weitz said...

JM...I'm an Aries so I lack any semblance of balance. I'm a loose cannon to which my kids will gleefully attest.

Kevin said...

We easily have the best record against winning teams in the American League, yet we keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yeah, things "can happen" but man we've lost our "swag". Enjoy the season!

For now.

The Archangel said...

Lets just enjoy the good while it lasts.
WE AREN'T guaranteed tomorrow anyhow.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Carl Weitz, that was the great Casey Stengel's philosophy. He rode the team hard when they were winning, let up when they were losing. Who knows why, but it seemed to work.

Maybe they didn't mind so much getting harangued when they were winning, and could absorb information better. Maybe he knew they were more apt to overlook the basics in the euphoria of winning.


HoraceClarke66 said...

And Archie, I get nervous whenever someone calling himself The Archangel says things like that.

"We aren't guaranteed tomorrow anyhow." Uh-huh. What're you hearing???

TheWinWarblist said...

IT'S ALL A LIE!! IT'S ALL A LIE!! PROTECT YOUR HEARTS!!

borntorun999 said...

I'll just calm everybody down by saying this kid I never heard of pitching for the rays has been the best pitcher in the league the last few weeks and will surely stifle our productive but somewhat inconsistent bats. If they beat up on this kid, I don't know what to say...

Platoni said...

Can we send Hicks to check on the James Webb Space Telescope?

AboveAverage said...

HUGGY HIGGY

JM said...

Spring Training Kyle does it again.

JM said...

Oh, shit. Castro warming up.

JM said...

Our YES blacked out on cable. Nada. Still ok on MLB TV through IPTV. Weird.

These umps are chumps.

JM said...

Castro sucks in a close game.

ranger_lp said...

Yankees Win!!!

Platoni said...

They made it close. Bent, but didn't break. It's tough to feel pessimistic about this team (though I'll always find a way)

borntorun999 said...

A win is a win. Stay healthy!

JM said...

That was a big Yankees win.

JM said...

DickAllen said...


JM, this whole IPTV thing sounds complicated for an old fool like me. You pay for the IPTV service AND you pay for MLBTV?

JM said...

Nope. Paid 80 bucks for six months of IPTV. That's it. Everything is gravy.

DickAllen said...


Which one do you use? And are you happy with it?

JM said...

I do like it. I use IPTV Trends. Works great. You need to download IPTV Starters. That's free, and it's the app you use to play the service through.

You can do it with a Fire Stick. There is a little "backdoor" downloading involved, but it's easier than it sounds. There's a lot of instructional stuff on the internet. I like doing that kind of thing, it's kinda fun.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I'm agog.

Also:

gob-smacked

nonplussed

stupefied

flabbergasted

And, you know, sorta pleased.


HoraceClarke66 said...

Bus managed to pull out their bird fight in 10. Too bad. But can we really complain?

Of course! We're New Yorkers! We can ALWAYS complain!

HoraceClarke66 said...

That's "BJs," damned autocorrect.

borntorun999 said...

Tonight in Scranton Florial, LoCastro, and Andujar went a combined 8-14 with 7rbi’s. Yes, really.

Carl J. Weitz said...

DA...I have been usimng Apollo TV for 2 years. $ 89.00 for 6 months. Picture is better than cable. You can use it on TV, cell, tablet, computer, etc. Up to 5 users/devices simultaneously so my kids use my subscription at no extra cost. Instructions are included so even tech illiterate people navigate. Every sport home and away, local channels from every network affiliate across America, PPV, every premium channel available, On Demand, 10,000 movies, and live TV stations from about 25 countries.