Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Thirteen Days In Hell!!!



So here we go. With your New York Yankees so set up for failure that we can only hope the next two weeks serve as a great big eephus pitch for the juju gods.

Consider:  Not only are the boys from the Bronx playing that record challenging, 44-16, .733 ball. Baseballreference rates them as currently having a 99.9 chance of making the playoffs, AND...a 21.4 chance of winning the World Series.

That's the highest possibility ranking in baseball right now, ahead of even the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Exactly how the good folks at baseballreference figure this is beyond me, especially considering the number of playoff rounds these days.

And the numbers tend to change with every win or loss.  

Still...you can see the eephus ball analogy. Either the deities down in juju land will knock this one out of the park—a la Higgy the other day, or Ted Williams in the 1946 All-Star Game—or they will be so busy laughing they whiff at the chance.

13 games. Against something the Yanks have rarely encountered this season: teams that are actually going all out to win.

First up is Tampa Bay. Even as we speak, Ji-Man Choi is taking extra batting practice, and sacrificing a ram to the jujubees. 

The Rays have actually looked a bit sluggish of late. Just 9-8 over their last 17 games. And Wander "As I Wonder" Franco, superstar shortstop of the very near future, is out with a tweak, and will miss the first series against us, at least. But TB has three of its top starters lined up, and you know they just live for these games.

Next comes Toronto. The BJs are hot again, after tumbling nearly to .500; on a 14-4 tear with a bird fight coming up against Baltimore, before they face our pinstripers. One never really knows just how much into it our brethren from the north country will be, or how much they will be distracted by inventing elaborate new home-run rituals. But the Team of Bloated Juniors is always scary.

Finally, there's that perennial country-music hit, Yer Cheatin' Astros. Houston has also been off its feed of late, just 3-6 lately. But you know they can't wait to straighten out against us.

13 games. In as many days. Before we can go back to pummeling any palookas again. 

A 7-6 record will be perfectly acceptable, and probably keep us on a glide course. A terrific run—say, 10-3—could open up such a gap that the rest of the division just calls us their daddy and starts planning some new deviltry for the division playoff round.

A total meltdown—maybe 3-10?—and, well, we're just back to an even playing field again. 

13 games.









32 comments:

Doug K. said...


Cole -

Whenever I picture him now he looks frustrated. I suppose if we put aside the $$$$ and the expectations and think of him as a really good number three who most of the time gives us a chance to win then he's ok.

He won't really hurt us until Boone makes the mistake of starting him in a big game.

Higgy --

Higgy is now in the record books!

Frank Schwindel's 35 MPH pitch was the slowest gopher ball in MLB history!

AboveAverage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AboveAverage said...

Doug K -

Cole really has no poker face on the mound - its as if he's always on verge of a tantrum/meltdown if even the tiniest thing goes wrong.

Contrasting/balancing this with his deeply engaged and supportive dugout persona - I wish he could find a way to steel himself better when out there on the mound. In fact - finding a way to quiet his frat-brained emotional fragility whilst on the bump is the key to his future success.

Let's hope he finds that resolve.

JM said...

Cole and Nestor may be entering a slide that started with their last outings. I hope not, but everyone has their down streaks.

The Rays, even though they pulled out the last two games against us, look like a damaged team. Metaphorically limping, just not the terror we've faced in recent years. While the Jays look just as dangerous and potentially explosive as they have been.

Houston? In a weird way, who cares? It's the divisional games that loom in my mind. Houston is just an overly humid, hot, overpopulated place in Texas. A state that could slide into the Gulf for all I care.

13bit said...

you don't understand

the gods are setting us up for a much greater fall

they'll be fine now and well into july

they will start to tank in the dog days of summer, then rally a bit before the final

"glug glug glug" sounds start to emanate from the bottom of the harbor

did you really think this year was going to go well?

pray for our noble pitchers

TheWinWarblist said...

And so it begins. Finally the True Season. Well, the True Season before the Real True Season of the Post Season. But never mind that. It, whatever Season "It" is, is finally beginning.

I will remind everyone - ahem, you all know to whom I am speaking - that I predicted this team would win on 80 games. It's time the Yankees regress to their true meager mean. There will be naught but pain and darkness and the lamentations of the women.

Fuck.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Sadly, I don't think my wife is going to lament. But I might!

DickAllen said...


On the other hand, it's entirely possible that Tampa, the BJs, and Houston are all limping along, dreading to face the Yankees. Both Tampa and the BJs could become significantly buried if they don't put a dent in the standings. They are both in a must-win position, NEEDING to win 2 of 3 in order to avoid sinking down to nearly ten games behind.

They HAVE to beat the Yankees. The Yankees are in the catbird seat. A split of these games does no harm. A slight winning record and they can go on to crushing some more tomato cans before the break.

The Hammer of God said...

If this Yankee team is for real, then they have to go at least 8-5, maybe even 9-4 during these 13 games. If they only win 7, does that really prove anything? Their record says that they're the class of the A.L. and the best team in baseball. It's up to them to show that it's not a fluke and that they're for real this year. First things first, they better take 2 out of 3 from the Tampons.

I hope Gerrit Cole doesn't lay down one of his patented egg jobs tonight. (He most probably will.)

Tampa is not scared of us. I hear they're rubbing their hands, smacking their lips, licking their chops. They can't wait to play us. Especially Ji Man Choi. His favorite pitcher will be on the mound tonight. The Tampons always seem to play well at Yankee Stadium. If they held their own in Tampa, splitting the four game series there, I can't see them winning less than two here. Get ready for the inevitable Yankee meltdown. It ain't going to be pretty.

TheWinWarblist said...

IFK has the RBI?

TheWinWarblist said...

Cole did well.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

What was that youtube montage of Joey Callo bunting to third for a base hit?

Did someone tell him it wouldn't work in NY?

TheWinWarblist said...

Fucking double steal!!??????!!!!!

ranger_lp said...

Yankees Win!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

Thu-uhuhuhuhuh-uhuh-uhuh-uhuhuh-UHUHUHUHHHHHH Yankees win!!

ranger_lp said...

Holmes has been great…

JM said...

That was a big Yankees win.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Sign of doom: I turned on WFAN for some rah-rah Yankees talk. Off base as usual, they’re concerned with next 9, not next 13. They demand 6-3 for this thing of ours to be “real”.

I felt dirty just hearing Carton’s obnoxious voice. His imitation of Suzyn isn’t too far off from his natural speech.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Soylent Green.

It's PEOPLE!

Yankees management!

STILL SUCKS.

Don't be fooled by the happy pants June. It's JUNE, for christ's sake!

They will still rip your heart out. And lose in the first round.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

+1 Rufus. That’s the kind of truth talking I come here for.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Not only are we going to lose the division, we’re losing Judge next year. This has been AWFUL!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Fantastic defense and hustle tonight> would not have won this game last year!

Kevin said...

Faucher brought in to pitch in the eighth, Brett Phillips is your go to pinch-hitter?! The Rays are a good team, but they lead the majors in errors, their lineup is thin, and a key reliever, Kitteredge is out with Tommy John. IMHO, they aren't the team that they have been over the past couple of years. Jest sayin....

borntorun999 said...

Rufus T. +10 for the Soylent Green reference.. One Halloween, I dressed as the Charlton Heston character with that stupid neckerchief and no one knew who the fuck I was supposed to be.

Pretty solid win tonight. As Kevin said, TB has looks shaky, and we capitalized on that big dropped ball by the Ray’s RF. Looked like he had his eyes closed! Somewhere in the dim recesses of my mind my Jr. High Coach (best Coach I ever had in any sport) was yelling something about looking the ball into the mitt. Torres hustled, rolled the dice, and Kluber looked like Gary Sanchez after a big meal waddling after the ball, and that was all we needed. Bravo Cole, and the ‘pen.

16-3 in our last 19. That’ll work!

DickAllen said...

When the lockout happened I was really angry; fully prepared to abandon the Yankees this year, but not our little doom-and-gloom community. This is my breakfast every morning. Now I’m teetering on edge of the abyss, considering buying the MLB package if the Yankees are still up in the division at the break. In the back of my mind I’m thinking: “If I start to watch the wheels are going to fall off and I can go back to hating The Intern, cursing Harold, and lambasting Boooooone.” But with all this winning I feel so confused. I can no longer get excited about hating Gallows, Hiccups doesn’t faze me at all, And I no longer seek perfection from Mr. Sticky Fingers.

What’s a fella to do? I was enjoying all the bile and I’m getting dangerously close to becoming optimistic, and my great fear is that a regression of astronomical proportions awaits me, and in turn, all of us.

And yet, in the end, I live and die with the Yankees, year in and year out. The lockout happened in another lifetime. I have some vague recollection of being disgruntled and yet here I am, uncertain, waiting for the other shoe to drop. What will happen if that doesn’t happen? How will I survive if the Yankees win the World Series? Will I listen eagerly to Booooone’s post-game interview? Will I be subjected to Harold’s smug told-you-so or The Intern’s monotone exultation?

Or will the cruel fates of the crap-shoot playoffs bring me once again to my knees in agony?

I am lost. On shaky ground. Not knowing what to think or how to behave. This team can’t possibly be this good. Can it?

The Hammer of God said...

@DickAllen

But what can a poor boy do?
Except sing for a rock n roll band
Cause in sleepy New York town
There's just no place for
Street Fightin' Man

Kevin said...

Dick Allen, they are as good as their record says, but... They need two more depth starters, we have too many starters with too few innings over the past few seasons. Maybe we already have them in the organization, maybe. The bullpen could use a couple, or three arms, maybe Chapman comes back throwing peas. Another catcher, another bat... You know all of this, of course. But then again every team in baseball has a flaw or three. Right now the smart money has the Yankees v Dodgers in The Series. Right now I'm with you... We still have Boooone.



HoraceClarke66 said...

You're right, Ken of Brooklyn. You wish you could preserve that game in amber, and trot it out for the playoffs. Plus Toronto managed to drop a game to the Orioles. Quite a night.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I know, DickAllen. I thought they were toast this season. Not enough pitching, not enough depth. But hey, just as well to take on for the team, and draw the juju curse on yourself!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Rufus & 999: Who was it—SNL?—who was doing the satire on how hard it was to do a sequel to Soylent Green?

SPOILER ALERT...

"Soylent Green II: It's still people! They said they would change it. But they didn't!"

Kevin said...

I saw that Ryu got TJS today which will probably force the Jays to overpay for a replacement. Toronto doesn't seem likely to worry about chasing the last buck, unlike our Cheap BASTARD. It's infuriating as HELL to come out of the trading deadline with The Brain bragging about getting "value" with his moves. We can hate The Brain, but the real BASTARD is Hal. Sorry, I probably offended most of you. Because what did we used to say about George, that he was a great owner, that he was a kind owner, that he had plans and wisdom? Bullshit man! I'm off to watch my pet snail crawl across the straight edge of a razor. And surviving.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Hoss,

Yes it was SNL.

Found it finally:

https://vimeo.com/541196478

Really like the Charlton Heston neck scarf. It really completes the sketch.