Thursday, June 16, 2022

Why, Even If The Yankees Keep Winning, We Will Be OK

This AM’s El Duque post about the possibility of the Yankees winning adversely affecting the well being of the world got me to thinkin’ and, despite his misgivings about this time around, I think we will be OK. 

Let's look at it logically:  

Does the fate of the New York Yankees actually effect the well being of America? 

Yes. Yes it does.

1) New York City is the Number One City in America.

2) Many, many, residents of NYC are Yankee fans.

3) When the Yankees win they are happy.

4) Happy people are more productive.

Therefore:  When the Yankees win - the Number One City in America is more productive.

Secondary Conclusion:  The Red Sox suck!


As to their current record juxtaposed with current events  I say that despite appearances, the world is actually on the upswing.

1)  Sure, I'm paying very close to $7.00 for a gallon of gas. It's insane.

But... people seem to be driving less so when I do drive there is very little traffic. More importantly, the air in the Sacramento Valley, which by June starts to take on a lovely shade of brown, is actually pretty clear.  

2) Sure, groceries are expensive. 

But... I've lost seven pounds because I'm not putting as much crap in the cart. Haven't bought a $4.29 bag of chips in months.

3) Sure there’s yet ANOTHER Covid variant sweeping the country.

But, I’ve had it, El Duque has had it, Alphonso has had it, and I’m sure others of you have as well and yet here we all are typing away. The next mask I’m wearing is going to be my Joey Gallo rubber head at a Halloween Party (Even though wearing it pretty much guarantees I will strike out with the opposite sex.)  By the way, the Joey Gallo Covid mask shown here is an actual thing. Google it. 

4) Yes, democracy is under assault. 

But I'm liking that even the NY Post and Wall Street Journal are waking up to reality. Or more accurately realizing that what they've been pushing won't fly. (Not to worry - they will find something else to be toxic about soon.)

4)  Sure, “The Radical Right” seems more organized and frightening than ever. 

But, the other day, I think it was fifty-one would-be Brownshirts got busted BEFORE they caused the riot.

5) Yes, The Woke PC police seems to be dictating the focus of the Democratic Party

But San Francisco, a place where some people leave their heart and I left $2,785 in unpaid parking tickets, just booted two members of their idiot school board who wanted to change the names of schools to meet their woke criteria, (Including one with Abraham Lincoln because he didn’t do enough for people of color).  The voters also recalled and tossed their PC DA.

5) And Last, the Red Sox have the best record in baseball over the last month.

But, they only gained 1/2 game on us. 

Also,  here’s a good thing…  Now they won't make mid-season talent dumps and reload their farm system. Much like our Aaron Judge dilemma they are going to have to ride their impending free agents to the finish line. Except their finish line ends in the first round. 

Why? Because they suck. 


AboveAverage said...

that was so . . . . moving

TheWinWarblist said...

And we will all go down together ...

The Hammer of God said...

God is a Yankee fan. How do I know this? Did I receive an apocalyptic vision? No, I just know it. To paraphrase the Arab guy in the film Kingdom of God, "if God does not love the Yankees, then how could they have done all that they've done?" 27 World Championships. Is that enough evidence? Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle and a huge boatload of other greats as well.

And here is another frequently asked question: so if God is a Yankee fan, then why don't the Yankees win the World Series every year and why don't God destroy the Red Sux and the evil city of Boston?

God gave man free will. If God imposed His will upon us and made the Yankees win every year, then we wouldn't be free, would we?

Another point for the faithful: God loves all of us, even the Red Sux fans. That's why the Red Sux have won so much recently.

God works in mysterious ways. It's not up to mortals to ponder the fate of the universe or question the ways of God. It's up to Yankee fans to just keep the faith. If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains. If God wants the Yankees to win this year, they'll win. That much is for certain.

ZacharyA said...

Luis Severino to the covid-19 IL. Clarke Schmidt starting tonight.

Yankees called up journeyman Ryan Weber as an emergency innings-eater.

Fun fact: Weber appeared in one game last year for the Red Sox and allowed 11 ER. Respect.

borntorun999 said...

Severing out, tested positive for Covid. Yes, it’s still out there.
God hates us. Well, me anyway…

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ Doug K....If you wear a traditional latex mask on Halloween made to look like Joey Gallows, make sure the eyes light up a deep red or perhaps open the eye slots with retrofitted eye clamps like in Clockwork Orange. The latter will certainly be big hit.
Also, I consider myself to be strongly Progressive but only lunatics would vote to change the names of public schools based on such nutty "logic". And, sure, both parties have their crazies but the proportion is not even remotely the same. I'm sure you can figure out which political group is so much more top-heavy with low-information and radical adherents.

@ Hammer.... God must be fucking with mortals or is extremely fickle because while he is telling Pat Robertson that he is a Red Sox fan, Jerry Falwell Jr. (while he and the missus aren't have a three-way with the pool boy) says that God mentioned that he is an Atlanta Brave fan. Then you have Joel Osteen (no relation to Claude "Gomer" Osteen) proclaiming God sent him a sign to buy season tickets with hidden cash stashed in the church walls because God loves the Astros. I'm no man of the cloth but I swear I saw God wearing that Joey G. mask that Doug K posted above while dreaming so he must indeed be a Yankee fan.

TheWinWarblist said...

Doug K., when you're wearing the Gallo mask, be sure to bunt against the shift.

HoraceClarke66 said...

C'mon, 999. All these Covid DL stints just mean that our guys will be all the fresher come October.

Gotta look at the glass half-full, fer cryin' out loud.

The Hammer of God said...

@Carl J. Weitz, beware of false prophets. Trust me, I know. God is a Yankee fan.

That doesn't mean that the Yankees will win this year or anytime in the next quarter century, but God is most definitely a Yankee fan.

Like I said, if God wills it, the Yankees will win this year.

ranger_lp said...

Not liking the Yanks chances tonight...bracing for a Schmidt breakdown...

AboveAverage said...

WAY ta GO Schmidty! One down . . .

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

I’m not worried about Schmidt. The Yankees were Pedro’s Daddy…, and tonight will prove to be Wisler’s Mother. The hat is a little different.

JM said...

Gallo struck out. I'm shocked.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Twitch comes through again.

TheWinWarblist said...

DJ, Judge and Rizzo.


Carl J. Weitz said...

I hate Hicks. Lead off single in a tight game. So what does he do? Why he swing as hard as he can and hit a home run, of course. Always tries to pull the ball into the shift instead of playing situational baseball and going the other way for a hit or at least advance the runner. What a stupid fuck. Not the kind of player you want on your team. I pray he gets hurt

ranger_lp said...

Yankees Win!!!

ranger_lp said...


BernBabyBern said...

Baseball can be fun sometimes.

Hinkey Haines said...

This is good, right?

Ken of Brooklyn said...

What a blast it was tonight, and I always thought they would pull out a win, what a HUGE difference this year!!!!!!!!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...


TheWinWarblist said...

And Boston is 14 back in the AILC !!!

AboveAverage said...

someone say T W I T C H ?

HoraceClarke66 said...

And the BJs lost another bird fight.

Toronto is now 10 back. TB, 12 back.


Sorry, got a little carried away. Forgive me. The Yanks have a long, long way to go, and there is no guarantee—


Kevin said...

Toronto also lost.

Severino apparently does not have Covid.

"Que sera, sera". (From the movie, "The Man who Knew too Much").

Our foes lament, their women have pms, we should all be grinning.

DickAllen said...

Note to self: The pennant race doesn't begin until September 1st.