Friday, June 24, 2022

Conversion


 I have a confession to make.

Last night, at the end of the eighth inning, I said the following to the JU-Ju Gods:

"If the Yankees come back to win this one, I will become a " believer."

Keep in mind, we had punched back once, in the first inning, and then went stagnant. Not a single hit in innings 2-8, whilst the cheaters put up another 3 run dinger. 

Houston's bullpen was being touted as the best in baseball.

They were smiling and enjoying the playing of the game.  The Yankees were sullen.

And then the ninth inning happened.

So I have become a " believer."  I have to.  It is the law. I am in deep shit. 

That means I have to have a fairy tale attitude about everything.  Facts and reality no longer have a place in my thinking. I can't be negative.  I have to believe everything will work out, and we will win the World Series this year. 

In effect, Alphonso is gone.

Am I still allowed to smoke weed and drink Crown Royal in the morning?


69 comments:

el duque said...

Alphonso,

Do you understand what you have done?


JM said...

Yes on the weed and Crown Royal. Might as well.

JM said...

Judge gets $19M midpoint plus 250K for MVP (1st) and 250K WS MVP

TheWinWarblist said...

It's wasn't the ninth. It was the Rizzo at bat in the 6th.

TheWinWarblist said...
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TheWinWarblist said...

I repeat:

AAÀAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH ‼️‼️‼️‼️ AAÀAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH ‼️‼️‼️‼️

I was at The Stadium last night, for the first time since the It Is High get together in 2019. The beers are $14, but are comically large. The stadium was packed. The energy in the crowd was extremely high; it was a great baseball crowd last night. The kind baseball crowd you only get in New York City.

In the bottom of the sixth, with the Yankees trailing 6-3, Anthony Rizzo had the most amazing at bat of the night. I believe the game and probably the season turned on that at bat. He saw 16 pitches, fouling off one after another until he finally worked the walk. The crowd was on its feet screaming by the 10th pitch. Every foul ball received another deafening cheer. Rizzo received a standing ovation when he finally worked the walk. As he should have; Rizzo is a professional hitter and showed great skill and determination gutting out that walk. Skill. Determination. Guts. Rizzo embodies those; he is a true baseball professional.

The stadium was packed and rocking. It's time to return to our Great Cathedral of Baseball. These Our 2022 New York Yankees deserve our support. Aaron Judge was Susan's star of the game. He made a point of thanking all the fans for the support they gave him and the other Yankees during the game. Aaron Judge deserves and needs to be a lifelong Yankee. And we collectively need to support these our 2022 New York Yankees.

Oh and one more thing: Fuck Altuve. That's what the crowd said last night anyway. Every time the miserable little fucker came to bat.

Fuck Altuve.

So endeth the fucking JuJu.


AAÀAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH ‼️‼️‼️‼️ AAÀAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH ‼️‼️‼️‼️

Mildred Lopez said...


Used to hang out, smoke weed with a guy who drank Crown Royal and Royal Crown. Called it a double crown. Makes me sick just typing it.

Also, did not fuck up the Judge business thank the gods. Everything coming up chocolate eclairs and gin right now.

ranger_lp said...

In the words of the departed Bob Murphy..."The Yanks have to win this four-game series"...

DickAllen said...


This just in from ESPN:

Fewest Runs Per Game Allowed in Yankees Franchise history:

2022 (3.01)*

1981 (3.21)

1968 (3.24)

1942 (3.29)

1904 (3.39)

1963 (3.40)

1972 (3.40)

1957 (3.47)

1943 (3.50)

1914 (3.50)

3.01 -- is on pace to make this the stingiest run prevention team in the history of the Yankees. That is some crazy shit.

DickAllen said...


And Mildred, I used to love gin until my wife made me stop drinking it. I switched to scotch. That seemed to please her.

I wonder where she is today.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Well lets see: gin is made from Jumiper berries. That's what birds eat that make them kamikaze into your picture window. On the other hand, scotch is often what makes humans kamikaze into car windows. As to your ex- wife, I sincerely hope she's not under your Petunia garden.

AboveAverage said...

I make a drink called a Grin and Tonic.

Turns a frown upside down.

I'd be happy to mix one up for yah one day, DickAllen.

Mildred Lopez said...


AA...

I have a Drinkmate. Turns water into carbonated water. That's my everyday gin and ____ .

Dick Allen...

Richie Allen was one of my favorite players as a kid. He was from Wampum, PA, where my grandmother's sister lived. She and Uncle Earl had a little farm up there we used to go to. Growing up on asphalt and cement it was paradise to me.

JM said...

Is it ironic that a guy we call AA is offering to make drinks? Just a thought.

I was a big dark rum and tonic man in the summer years ago. Now I'm fine with a good vodka and Fever Tree tonic. Maybe a little lemon squeezed in.

Mildred, as nauseating as your old friend's drink sounds, I am reminded that Keith Richards for years drank Jack and Cokes. I've done rye and Diet Coke for short stretches (which sounds nauseating, too), but like the rye better alone or in a Manhattan.

Booze is peculiar. The key is finding the right alcoholic beverages that have a feelgood effect and avoiding the ones that turn you into a fucking obnoxious or worse asshole. Took me years to find out that Scotch was not a good idea. Even longer to realize red wine and I don't mix.

But then, it took me years to realize that cocaine wasn't actually any fun. Guess I'm consistent.

AboveAverage said...

HAHAHAHAHA

I see what you did there, JM.

I can, however, confidently say that when I do make drinks that are definitely Above Average

TheWinWarblist said...

Margaritas with fresh lime juice and an añejo tequila.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Alphonso: Thank you for cropping that photo.

AboveAverage said...
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Parson Tom said...

Wondering is not the same as caring

borntorun999 said...

Alphonso, I think you are going to NEED that weed / CR combo so help yourself.

AboveAverage said...

Winny knows a good margarita

and yes - that photo can never be cropped enough

Local Bargain Jerk said...


This time of year, la especialidad de la casa de Bargain Jerk es Sangria.

I use a recipe learned in Pamplona, Spain but the key is to steep the fruit days in advance. If you can let it sit at least 24 hours before serving, you'll be a happy camper.

TheWinWarblist said...

I do love a good sangria. LBJ, do you do a white or red? What variety of wine do you use?

We were in Zurich in December 2019 - long story. They have outdoor markets in nearly every square, and they all have multiple vendors of glühwein, both rot and weiss. I drank a lot of glühwein weiss to stay warm. And drunk. It was really good at doing both.

13bit said...

Esteemed colleagues, I love you all and respect you. Maybe I'm the schmuck, but I'm not falling for this bunch of rotten bananas.

They will not win it all.

We will get crushed like so many grapes under King Kong's hairy paws.

TheWinWarblist said...

Bitty? I am sorry. I know you're right. I know it! But I drank the comically over-priced and comically over-sized bucket of Kool-Aid last night. (It was gigantic.) Rizzo choking up to foul off pitch after pitch broke something in my crabbed, cinder-filled heart and soul. Forgive me please. I am flawed and broken. I am merely enraged inchoate meat and gristle, with a side of grain alcohol. I know what I do, but I cannot resist.

It's called the World Series, but it used to be played mainly in New York. And I remember ...


Fuck, my Bitty, just fuck it all.

TheWinWarblist said...

I am here Commentariat. I am here. I am always here. I see the injustice in the world. I am forlorn and bereft of hope. And yet I still warble. And Warble I shall! WWHILE THERE IS STILL BREATH IN MY FAST-ROTTING HALF-PICKLED CARCASS (Did you know that I was once a stunning piece of ass? Some of you do!) I SHALL WARBLE! FUCK THE ROTTEN CHEATER SHRIMP ALTUVE!! FUCK ALTUVE!! FUCK HIM DEAD WITH SYPHILIS AS HE ROUNDS SECOND BASE!! FUCK THE CHEATSTROS!! WARBLE FOR THE GREAT JUDGE!! WARBLE FOR THE GUTSY AND SKILLED RIZZO!! WARBLE FOR THE FASTBALL AIMED AT ALTUVE'S TINY SHRIMP HEAD!! WARBLE WITH THE MASTER AND HIS DELICIOUS BRIDE WITH THE PECULIAR SPELLING OF SUZYN!!


Warble, I say. Warble.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Bummer. No Gallo tonight.

TheWinWarblist said...

What the fuck is happening to me?

JM said...

Seem perfectly normal to me, Win.

Verlander 41 pitches in two innings.
Sevvy 35 in three.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

there is hope.

Does Joey Callo maybe have a tweeked gonad.

One can hope.

AboveAverage said...

Hicks!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Posted on wrong thread (I'm old, gimme a break):

I have succumbed to the devil and purchased tickets to old-timers day. Any advice on parking from my compadres? I haven't driven to a game in decades.

P.S. Fuck you HAL, despite the current record.

P.P.S.

I am going to old timers day because, well, I qualify.

JM said...

Gopher this inning.

JM said...

3-0.

TheWinWarblist said...

How are you driving in Rufus T.? I usually use the garages on Jerome Ave.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Winnie,

Either NY Thruway or down the Taconic to the Sprain.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Winnie, also tickets are in section 109, just to copy you!

TheWinWarblist said...

Park on the lower level of the north garage on Jerome Ave. When you exit they'll send you north on the service road to the Deegan.

Doug K. said...

The Deegan is the NYS Thruway

JM said...

Castro is warming up.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

TheWinWarblist said...

https://www.google.com/maps/place/161st+Garage/@40.8287654,-73.9296444,18z/data=!4m12!1m6!3m5!1s0x0:0x4940c3d9559a1e08!2sYankee+Stadium!8m2!3d40.8296426!4d-73.9261745!3m4!1s0x89c2f5c70baf20bd:0xa3adc3434f86d458!8m2!3d40.8290433!4d-73.9296099

TheWinWarblist said...

We call it the Deegan in NYC. It's being discrete. Owes someone money.

TheWinWarblist said...

I take the Deegan to the Sawmill and then Taconic to get home.

JM said...

Two on, 3-1 game, no outs...and it's Castro.

We are so fucked.

TheWinWarblist said...

BUT!! You have to be on the lower levels. If you're on the upper levels, they send you west over the Macombs Dam Bridge. And then you go through a bit of The Bronx to the Harlem River Drive and then you have to cut back across the river to pick up the Deegan. It's easier and more direct if you're on the lower levels.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Thanks gents.

And I am very afraid with Castro warming up.

I only know the Deegan as a parking lot.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Thanks again Winnie!

I remember being subjected to that very early in YSIII times.

JM said...

Castro came through. Nice job.

TheWinWarblist said...

We took an older car to The Stadium yesterday. My daughter was driving. SatNav decided to take us down Grand Concourse Ave for the last couple of miles and my daughter freaked out. I'm a New Yorker, but she learned to drive in the country up here. I do not know what she thought was going to happen.

TheWinWarblist said...

That's it for Verlander. Now the real game starts.

JM said...

No joy in Mudville. Judge struck out.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

oh fork.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Stantonian

JM said...

The Twin Towers both whiffed.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

This entire thread is an affront to the Juju gods.

May they have mercy on us.

JM said...

I don't think they can do it two nights in a row.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Big John asks aloud… Do the Yankees have another comeback in their bones? We’re no longer shackil-ed to banality.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

I’d pinch hit our $17M man.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Where’d the ulcer comment go? Your blogger with super powers make me jealous.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Is Carpenter the Pizza Boy from the interwebs?

JM said...

Ah well

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Beau,

The Interwebs is a strange place.

And the Yankees lose.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

I’m sure where ever the ulcer went, it’s bleeding. That’s how they cry.

TheWinWarblist said...

Higgy. That's who was up. And all we had to pinch hit was Carpenter.

TheWinWarblist said...

The history books say the Gallo was once a better than average hitter, and that he is still young. But what does history know? It knows you can't trust him to pinch hit in an important situation.

AboveAverage said...

The history books will also reference Gallo as THE TWITCH!

13bit said...

Rufus and Winnie - you're both on fire tonight.

I'd advise you to look up William Francis Deegan at some point on the evil interweave.

I rode that fucker, yes "The Deegan" for years every day as a kid. I just assumed it was some strange descriptive name. Only in my 20s or even 30s did I learn that Major Deegan was actually a human and an officer. Things were never the same after that.

As for the Juju gods, I'm keeping my big, fat, dumb mouth shut. I have learned my lesson.

I will also not deviate from my viewpoint for the rest of this thing that we are calling "the season." I was distracted tonight by a visit to Union Square. The juju gods were nowhere in sight.

As a resident of Ye Olde Greenwich Village, specifically Ye Olde West Village, I have an even to contend with this weekend that will keep me on my toes. And when it hits the high 80s tomorrow, things are going to get interesting.

In the meantime, let me leave you with this: BAH! HUMBUG!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL.

TheWinWarblist said...

Bitty, you complete me.

AboveAverage said...
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