Monday, October 15, 2007

Steinbrenners Join Christ, Bush

One e'er supplanteth him by whose thing he was made, for as the teeth of the father turn to rot and so his eldest son accepteth the burden of chewing, then He in Heaven shall do exult in all our forenoons. -- THE HOLY BIBLE*

Sons have been following in their fathers' footsteps for as long as there have been footsteps--and the results are usually spectacular.

Jesus Christ took over Creation.

George W. Bush inherited America.

These two men reaped magnificent acclaim as they carried their family legacies to new heights of success. Now two grown sons, Hank and Hal Steinbrenner, look to "threepeat" Christ and Bush's historic feat as they take the reins of the most storied franchise in all of sports: the New York Yankees.

Certainly we will miss The Boss' baseball wisdom and good humor, but we find our sadness overwhelmed by eager anticipation.

For this is not an ending.

Instead, we now begin a fresh new chapter of one of America's favorite stories:

Our love affair with the boss' son.

*From memory.


Anonymous said...

Here's hoping Hank doesn't have to slay Hal to prove his loyalty...

And, more importantly, that if he is called to do the deed, he doth not hesitate.

Anonymous said...

I believe the correct Biblical reference is:

" George Bush TOOK OVER America."

He inherited money, yes, and a general sense that the "little people " don't matter ( which he learned at the breast of his good friend Leona Helmsly ( may she rest in piece ).

But he took over America , just as JC took over Creation ( subject to debate, by the way from at least 171 major religious sects in and around Bagdad).

- John Calvin 14th ( professor of religion, Yeshiva University )

Anonymous said...

Maybe Hank and Hal should run for President:

They disdain the little people.

They are uber-rich.

They have Bin Laden connections.

They have condos in Dubai.

They are people of faith and men of family.

They both snorted and did shots as college kids.

They have marriageable offspring.

They are well experienced using flacks to make up stories.

They own a major media outlet for distorting and holding back the truth.

They speak in malapropisms whenever trying to be reasonable or compassionate.

They certainly know how to " fix " things ( e.g. elections ).

They have never read the Constitution of the United States.

They have many vile, mean-spirited, pompous friends.

They have formed numerous " coalitions of the willing."

They have never borne arms.

They go to church every Sunday.

They don't like spicy food.

They have friends in high places in Florida.

What would be wrong with a two-headed Presidency? It certainly has to be an improvement over just the one head.

- Former Prime Minister Tony B

Mustang said...

John Calvin, my faith indeed teaches that George W. Bush inherited America from his father after the old man secretly died at Bohemian Grove. We're a young church, but come to the Tin Hat on NE 65th St in Seattle any Sunday morning between midnight and 2:00 AM Pacific time if you're interested in learning more about The Church Of Jesus Christ The Lucky Dog, which outsiders call Envyterianism.

el duque said...

This sounds like something Satan is behind.

Are you working for the Other Side?

If so, find a Redsock site.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who has noticed the woman holding the child in place at the foreground of this photo?

Must be that George has been into the cheese sticks and slim jims again.

That kid wants to run and hide. Just like I did.

Holding that boy in place is extreme rendition in my book.

_ His dog