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Monday, June 10, 2019

I have witnesses, and I have an alibi

I wasn't there.

14 comments:

Rufus T. Firefly said...

A day after you talk about Hal being 'milk-shaked', the 'milk-shake man' himself gets shot.

Coincidence?

TheWinWarblist said...

Yeeaaah, sure it is ...

HoraceClarke66 said...

Sweet pic of Pedro hugging him.

I'm glad he's out of danger, and I would never want to see this happen to anyone.

But I do have to shake my head to see the Times call him "one of the most respected athletes in the game" and pretty much put him in the Hall of Fame already.

I'm sure that if it had been A-Rod, they would have all but said he had it coming. And if it had been Manny, they would have implied that his goofy antics brought this on.

Once again, cheating is fine if you treat the sportswriters well.

KD said...

ummm.... where is LBJ?

Local Bargain Jerk said...


I was one of the ones who helped kick the shit out of his assailant...

KD said...

My Man!

Anonymous said...

I don't think that this is the occasion for strained attempts at puckish, wry humor.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Jon Lester claims the shooter was doing a hit. If that is indeed true (and it does appear to be hit or just a deranged fool trying to get attention) than either the shooter didn't have it in him to really kill Ortiz or he isn't the brightest assassin because he he an open shot to the head.

Carl J. Weitz said...

had an open shot*

Carl J. Weitz said...

LBJ won't brag but he is also the guy who killed Moammar Khadafy. The Yankee fan in the cap.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I thought I recognized him!

Anonymous said...

HERE'S THE PROOF THAT REGGIE JACKSON WAS NOT A "CLUTCH" CAREER PLAYER.

Total career slash line (11,418 plate appearances):

.262/.356/.490/.846

Career slash line for 2 outs and RISP (1,416 PA):

.252/.378/.473/.851

Career slash line for late and close (1,847 PA):

.251/.352/.452/.864


Essentially no difference between Jackson's overall career numbers and overall numbers in clutch situations. SUCK ON THAT, MORONS!

So--I've not only proved that Reggie Jackson did not possess some magical "clutch" quality over the entirety of his career, but that Rufus T. Firely and All-Craps are just DUMB FUCKS--the latter proposition being really self-evident.

Anonymous said...

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I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I’m Stat Boy, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!

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